What do people look for in a partner?

Anyone who's not completely repulsive to look at, not completely grating to deal with, and has at least one consenting orifice that can take at least 9 inches.

If I can relate to them as an equal, and we have little to no difficulty treating each other with kindness and respect, that'd be much better.
 
Someone who's nice, shares some interests with me, is ready to go jogging together every now and then, likes cooking together, doesn't mind that I get up at 5 AM during weekdays, doesn't mind that their boyfriend is a short frowning blonde guy, likes hugs and is ready to talk if they have a problem.
..Also bonus points if they have a 3DS and like Monster Hunter.

As far as looks go.. I'm not that handsome myself and really, I don't think looks matter all that much. The will to love and being able to accept love are the most important parts in a relationship. To love another you have to love yourself.
 
Ya know, about baggage, I would've thought that being Autistic, major-depressive, and having multiple physical issues would've killed my prospects but there's someone who has not only been with me for five years but practically can't wait to marry me. I will admit I was cautious and VERY skeptical in the beginning, but that's just who I am in general too.

"Baggage" just prevents you from being with self-centered, shallow people who'll drop you at the first sign of "imperfection." The man I'm with is the most patient and understanding dude in the world. My limitations are not detractors, they're just stuff I live with. If you actually give a shit about someone, "baggage" isn't this huge horrible game-changing deal it's made out to be. You work around it and live. The partner just has to have the right attitude/personality, which is a lot harder to come by than your generic douchebag.

I think people are attracted to people who compliment them, as opposed to that bullshit adage of "opposites." It's really about mutual care and respect, which requires the (apparently difficult) ability to just be your true self around them and not pretend you're someone else. Mutual interests are a plus but I think it's over-emphasized. It's healthy to do stuff on your own and have your own interests rather than crawl around in each other's assholes. I'm not gonna lie, looks are part of it too, but the personality wins over it.
 
OP based on your forum posts you are an incredibly empathetic and kind person, If that's not attractive to some people fuck em, that's their loss.
 
I guess what I look for in a partner, at least with my wife, is personality, dedication, loyalty, sense of humor, and above all respect. As far as looks go, it's never been a huge deal for me and it would be horribly hypocritical of me to make that a factor in a partner as I myself am not a physically attractive man. Neither my wife or I are what most people would call good looking, but we love each other and our love was never based on physical attraction. One of the things I love most about my wife is her brain. She is such an intelligent woman, it's amazing. She's a loving and dedicated mother and a compassionate wife.

I openly say this all the time to her, but I married way above my station in life. She comes from a family of educators and educated. Both her parents were teachers, her Mother an elementary school teacher and her Father a college professor. So it only made sense that she'd follow her parents example and went into education as a middle school math teacher. I came from a family of lower-middle class blue collar types. She has a college education, I have a high school diploma.

Honestly, if anything ever happened to my wife or if she left me I'd have no fucking chance in finding anyone else. I'm not handsome, I'm overweight, I have minimal education, few prospects for a career, and I'm very eccentric. Frankly I have no idea why my wife settled for me. She must see something that I don't.

Let's say that I were single again. For the sake of discussion here is what I would be looking for:

Intelligence
Sense of humor
Personality
Loyal
Christian, preferably lax LDS
Pro-gun. A woman who can field strip and clean an AR-15 or 1911 is a sexy woman in my eyes
Pro-LGBT rights
Pro-Cannabis legalization and use
Politically Libertarian or Right-Leaning Moderate
Enjoys motorcycles, ATVs, and cars
Enjoys camping and the outdoors
Enjoys traveling and road trips
Physically affectionate (hugging, kissing, cuddling)
Sexually modest (nothing too kinky)
Casual dresser (t-shirts, hoodies, jeans)
Enjoys various music genres, with rock and roll and punk rock being favorites
Enjoys horror movies, especially zombie movies
Adventurous
Spontaneous
Enjoys getting out of the house refularly
Not a heavy drinker
Non-smoker
Curvy, but not morbidly obese
Kind of nerdy and into geek culture
Like spending time with my son and willing to have him along with us
Loves dogs and other animals
Not shallow or self centered
Not vapid
Generous and kind hearted
Doesn't mind my occasional cussing and even cusses herself once in a while
Open minded
A hard worker, but also knows when to drop things to have fun
It would be great if she enjoyed retro stuff like old cars, record players and 45rpm jukeboxes, classic movies and old school rock and roll, 80's music, vintage clothing, Americana...stuff like that.

I can be flexible on some of this list, but other things I would be very rigid on.
 
Last edited:
For me to take a relationship seriously it has to be someone who I actually admire, attraction and having fun together are a good start but if it's to be a real thing I have to admire their way of thinking and doing things.
 
In a woman I find the following traits attractive:
  • Non drug user
  • Attracted to me
  • Doesn't jump to conclusions
  • Will not demand a large amount of time
  • Keeps her word
  • Isn't a communist
  • Values family
  • Doesn't believe in New Age stuff
  • Healthy
  • University Graduate
  • Wants children
Are males who are genuinely passionate about their careers attractive or does it just make them boring
 
In a man, I find the following attractive things:

Non-drug user
Non-smoker
Casual drinker
Childfree, no children
Pro-choice
Loves psychological horror
Democrat
Loyal and monogamous
Honest
Geeky - he better like Star Trek, Doctor Who, and Transformers
Not clingy, I like my space
Pro-LGBT
Gamer - if he loves The Legend of Zelda and not COD, all the better
Baseball fan, no football
Not a hunter or into guns
Spiritual but not Christian, no organized religions
Intelligent
Loves retro 80's stuff or even retro in general
Toy collector
Loves going out and doing things
Loves cats
Patient and supportive
Loves to read
Passionate about live and living
Understands I need "introvert time"
Can handle my baggage
And the biggie - willing to go without sex and won't pressure me into sex.

Basically - a unicorn because men like that don't exist.
 
Requirements:

A girl.
Over the legal age of consent so it isn't creepy.
Not fucking crazy.

I think you guys are overthinking what to look for in a partner. Your "ideal partner" is probably not gonna exist. Just, you know, be open to shit.

That and giving us an overly detailed list of what you want your "waifu" to be is kinda autistic imo.
 
Requirements:

A girl.
Over the legal age of consent so it isn't creepy.
Not fucking crazy.

I think you guys are overthinking what to look for in a partner. Your "ideal partner" is probably not gonna exist. Just, you know, be open to shit.

That and giving us an overly detailed list of what you want your "waifu" to be is kinda autistic imo.

This, I feel like the people who aren't very experienced with dating tend to have a longer "list" of requirements. I feel like if you meet the right person things kinda just click, corny as that sounds. Then that list of requirements doesn't seem to matter as much. You should try to find someone that is basically your best friend and also motivates you to do your best. Support and help each other do better yadda yadda.

I also feel like being super fixated on finding a boyfriend/girlfriend is unhealthy, it seems desperate. Work on yourself and you will meet people along the way, don't settle for less.
 
Between 5'0" and 5'3"
Between 90-120 pounds
Between ages 18-22
DD-Cup Minimum
Dirty Blonde
Green Eyes
Always DTF
Of Slavic origin
150+ IQ
National Bolshevist
Kissless Virgin
INFP
Loves Ferrets
Owns many guns
Drug User
Only listens to classical music
Loyal, will not look at another man without my permission

I don't ask for much. I'm a simple man with simple tastes.
 
To be honest, all I'd ask for is someone that actually wants to be with me and is serious about it. Even if I don't find her attractive immediately, I could learn to love her, assuming, again, that I'm not just doing so for nothing.
 
I've seen a couple of other people mention a desire to share interests with a potential partner, and I have to agree with that. I don't have much experience with relationships, but when I picture a good relationship, I often imagine myself and my partner doing things together that we both enjoy (seems pretty obvious, huh?)

Case in point, I hadn't really been interested in anybody for a while until I met this girl at my college the other week. She complimented my hat (that had my favorite hockey team's logo on it) and we talked hockey for a little. I never learned her name and can scarcely remember what she looked like, but that encounter has stuck with me. Most of my friends don't share my love of hockey, but it would be awesome if my "special someone" did.

It's not really a must-have though. The only things I really think I'd require out of a relationship would be things like love and respect. Plus hopefully it'd be someone who isn't so hideous it makes me sick or whatever.
 
Don't care what gender or race they are but:
  • Around my age
  • Don't mind helping and dealing with my depression and anxiety
  • Nice
  • Funny
  • Like video games like me
  • Not racist
  • Pro lgbt
  • Don't mind cuddling
  • Get along with my family
And for some reason when someone constantly call me cute I tend to take interest in them like I can't help but to have crushes on people who call me cute over and over.
 
Back