Okay here's what you fucking do.
Find a car that looks exactly like yours. You don't want to keep your old car because that thing's caked in evidence. Once I ran over a blanket that was on the interstate doing around 75 mph. I didn't notice that the polyester melted to my exhaust until I pulled into my driveway and my neighbor asked me what I ran over (my dog uses that blanket to this day, he fucking loves it). So yeah, you likely have pieces of fur suit stuck to the bottom of your car and you're never getting it off. Next, you befriend some Mexicans. You don't want the Mexicans who think calling themselves "latinx" isn't worth an ass whoopin. You want the ones who call each other Guatemalans when they do something stupid. You have...
