What do you want your funeral to be like?

[Gorgar]

title

 

[NigKid]

Funny as fuck, if somebody gets the chance to cry ive made a mistake
Probably rick astley

 

[Gorgar]

When the funeral is done, my body is shot out of my coffin and flies to a target with everyone's names. Whoever gets their name hit on by my head gets my will. When my body hits the ground, a bunch of restaurant employees come out of the bushes and sing Happy Happy Birthday.

 

[NigKid]

When the funeral is done, my body is shot out of my coffin and flies to a target with everyone's names. Whoever gets their name hit on by my head gets my will. When my body hits the ground, a bunch of restaurant employees come out of the bushes and sing Happy Happy Birthday.

Thats a proper fucking idea!

 

[Gorgar]

Thats a proper fucking idea!

I was also thinking about having middle schoolers come in and do presentations about me. Preferably those who can make presentations like this:

Give them the night before to really spice things up!

 

[MrTroll]

I demand at least as much wailing, rending of garments, and gnashing of teeth as Kim Jong-il received.

 

[Pimpleking55]

Quiet

 

[Lobotomized_Chicken]

I would like all the funeral attendees to attempt a necromancy ritual to revive me.

 

[Coolio55]

Normal until the speakers start playing gangnam style and the coffin opens electronically and someone starts controlling my limbs with overhead strings and I start doing some awesome dance moves.

 

[Tism the Return]

Livestreamed and a reminder to everyone that no matter what I'll always be their pimp.

 

[Lina Colorado]

They gotta wrap me up in christmas lights.
Whitney playing:

 

[Childe]

I doubt I will have anyone to attend my funeral except immediate family since I'm an unlikeable bitch so probably want it to just be a small ceremony with my nieces and nephews and siblings if they're still alive, and my spouse if I have one and die before them. I'm torn between cremation and being buried because on one hand I think my bones being in the ground would be cool, and on the other hand having ashes spread seems very spiritual and possibly something I would like, like having my ashes spread in the Scottish highlands where my family is from.

 

[Rungle]

Depends how much i hate my family.

If my family pushes me too much i will make the most obscene funeral ever.
I will make the theme color of the funeral brown and force family members to wear their best brown mourning clothes.
For a casket I want a glass one, where I will lay fully nude and cock erect because of post mortem.

Afterwards I will have my will read to my family, I will claim there is a hidden treasure at a certain location in the middle of nowhere, that there are clues in my old abode and I will admit to several murders which i did not commit.

I will laugh in hell as my family will be thorn to shreds by its members and by the news pestering them about my "confession" as I drink martinis with Satan in his lava-filled hot tub.

 

[Harhar06]

I want everybody to show up in their everyday clothes and treat it more like a funny family reunion than a funeral. I want there to be a dance floor in the middle of the room, A ball pit, And a disco ball. I wish to be buried with cardboard cutouts of various historical figures and my personal heroes decorating the side of the coffin, And the coffin will be laid down whilst Portsmouth Sinfonia's cover of The Blue Danube plays in the background. And lastly, my epitaph shall say "FUCK".

 

[Robert w'E'd Leef]

Very respectful and somber. Right in the middle of it, I rise out of my coffin, alive. Just like that, I've pranked all my family and friends. Then I'll smoke some weed later. Excellent.

 

[TheShedCollector]

I want it to be as dirt cheap as possible. Super expensive caskets, flowers with my name on it, all that shit costs a fortune and my family can put that money to better use.

Bury me in a cardboard box with the cheapest ceremony possible.

 

[PaulBearer]

I honestly don't give a fuck, put me in a bin bag and throw me on the tip for all I care.

 

[The Real Me]

I've actually thought about this extensively. Here's a fun fact most people don't think about: when you get put in the ground, you're just renting. If no-one pays that rent again after anywhere between 25 and 100 years, your bones get dug up and thrown out or given to science or whatever crap and your gravestone is removed. For this reason, I have no intention of being put in the ground but I will rent out a plot for myself and a tombstone that reads something along the lines of:

"The Real Me"
"Birth Date - Death Date"
"These graves are solely for rent, your loved ones will eventually be dug up and trashed. LOL"
"I will not suffer this fate, as my ashes have been scattered over *haven't decided yet.* As a result, this grave is empty, so if you really want, come and bury your cat or something here in the dead of night. The Church probably won't appreciate that but I won't snitch. Anyway, my relatives are *insert living family members here* who are likely also dead by the time my lease has expired. When the lease expires, please give this gravestone to my closest living relative who also finds this funny (ideally, they will already be aware of this stone's existence.)"

"In the likely event that no family members want the stone, please give it to any museum that'll accept it and in the likely event that no museum wants it, send it to public auction. If the stone remains unpurchased, throw it into a river. Thanks."

I also think it'll be funny to record one of those video wills. I definitely wouldn't want to traumatize anyone but I'll definitely make reference to how my skin, muscle and bones were Hellishly destroyed and I'll probably make a few jokes at my grieving loved ones expense like "Listen Josh, I didn't raise no girl so you better not let out any tears." as I point at the camera. I really wanna put the "fun" in "funeral."

 

[frozenrunner]

I want it to be really, really long, and then right when it's about to be over I sit up in the coffin to epically troll everyone XD

 

[feedtheoctopus]

Tibetan sky burial