What does Chris eat?

[Trombonista]

He eats fast food, microwave canned and frozen and whatever junk food he has.

But what about his consumption of drinks like soft drinks.

Does he even drink atleast water?

I don't think there's any written or video evidence of him drinking it. Let me think back . . .

In the e-mails regarding the trip to Ohio, he stopped at a Sonic and got a crushed fruit drink; he was amazed that it had "real orange slices in it."
The CWCki states that his favorite drink from McDonald's is the "$1 Iced Tea."
The CWCki has an entire article devoted to his Coke Rewards points and prize orders.
In the Calling Out videos he drinks "un iced tea!"; aka, a can of Lipton.
In many of his OK Cupid profiles, he says that he'd like to meet for "coffee or soda."
In the Game Place incident where he tried to take pictures of Snyder's kids, he sad that he had come from the bar after having "a bottle of Bud."
In one of the videos he made directed at Lars, he was swigging from a bottle of Kahula. In the accompanying e-mails, he bitched about having to use his tugboat on it.
And, of course, orange Fanta.

Basically, lots of sugary beverages.

I wonder if there is any evidence showing Chris drinking just plain water.

I'm sure he rinses with water when he brushes his teeth (which he does at least once a day).

 

[Henry Bemis]

I've been in Virginia all weekend and I've eaten at plenty of amazing places. It makes me kind of sad to think that Chris limits himself to only places that have commercials playing all day on TV.

Were you in the Ruckersville area? (Which I can imagine has as much variety in cuisine as to be expected from any pokey backwater town.)

 

[pickleniggo]

I've been in Virginia all weekend and I've eaten at plenty of amazing places. It makes me kind of sad to think that Chris limits himself to only places that have commercials playing all day on TV.

Were you in the Ruckersville area? (Which I can imagine has as much variety in cuisine as to be expected from any pokey backwater town.)

To be fair, I'm in NoVa but Chris lives near a college town. I can't imagine it being too different. sparklemillhouse lives in that area - if you're out there can you confirm?

 

[Fishkill]

According To Chris: Semen, Vegatables of all sorts every day, healthy homecooked meals, and Fanta

According to the A-logs: Semen, his own feces, the vaginal seepings of his mother, thousand pounds of sausage, stolen children's underwear, the very souls of all humans for merely existing, and Fanta

According to reality: Semen, Hungry men, Various fast food joints, microwave pizzas and other such microwave food, and Fanta

Chris still drinks his own bodily fluids mixed with fanta? Didn't he get over that after the ivy saga ended?

 

[Marvin]

According To Chris: Semen, Vegatables of all sorts every day, healthy homecooked meals, and Fanta

According to the A-logs: Semen, his own feces, the vaginal seepings of his mother, thousand pounds of sausage, stolen children's underwear, the very souls of all humans for merely existing, and Fanta

According to reality: Semen, Hungry men, Various fast food joints, microwave pizzas and other such microwave food, and Fanta

Chris still drinks his own bodily fluids mixed with fanta? Didn't he get over that after the ivy saga ended?

Well, he said he didn't care for the flavor that much anymore, but either way, the bigger impediment to Chris drinking his jizz is a lack of masturbation.

 

[sparklemilhouse]

I've been in Virginia all weekend and I've eaten at plenty of amazing places. It makes me kind of sad to think that Chris limits himself to only places that have commercials playing all day on TV.

Were you in the Ruckersville area? (Which I can imagine has as much variety in cuisine as to be expected from any pokey backwater town.)

To be fair, I'm in NoVa but Chris lives near a college town. I can't imagine it being too different. sparklemillhouse lives in that area - if you're out there can you confirm?

I went to college about 45 min away from Chris. I can confirm that there is a vast variety of food in Charlottesville (close enough for Chris to drive there everyday if he wanted to). I liked eating from the huge food bar at whole foods.

I was gonna say there are pictures of him playing Pokemon with a giant sports bottle next to him. But then I remembered he said he filled it with sodas.

That is an early quirk of Chris that annoys the hell out of me. Why the need to constantly have a giant sippy cup of soda?

 

[Henry Bemis]

That is an early quirk of Chris that annoys the hell out of me. Why the need to constantly have a giant sippy cup of soda?

Because sody pop is a no-no drink, something parents only let their kids have in limited amounts. Which is why Bob 'n' Barb let him drink so much, if only because the five minutes of a sugar high meant the inevitable longer-lasting crash.

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

That is an early quirk of Chris that annoys the hell out of me. Why the need to constantly have a giant sippy cup of soda?

Because sody pop is a no-no drink, something parents only let their kids have in limited...actually, that reasoning doesn't stand up, does it?

As soon as she gets up every day, my two-year-old is given a sippy cup of 2% milk and then is allowed to watch Sesame Street (or "Mo-Mo," as she calls it.) It's our routine, and it helps her establish a pattern and feel safe.

I imagine soda and Pokeymons have a similar effect for Chris.

 

[Shadow Fox]

I do the grocery shopping for this blind woman and her weekly shopping list looks a lot like one I imagine Chris would make: 10-12 Hungry Man dinners, 5 loaves of cinnamon/raisin bread, 3 large bottles of lemonade/limeade, 2 gallons chocolate ice cream and a package of cookies. Then she has snack foods that she switches up every week, usually either 2-4 fruit pies, 4 bags of spicy Doritos, 4 maple bars, or 2 packages of ice cream bars. It's like this every. single. week. And of course she's huge and has a multitude of health problems. The only fresh food she buys is used to feed her birds; for whatever reason, she just doesn't cook things for herself.

I assume Chris' dining habits are similar, just with more Mickey D's and specially-enhanced Fanta.

 

[NegaCWC]

According To Chris: Semen, Vegatables of all sorts every day, healthy homecooked meals, and Fanta

According to the A-logs: Semen, his own feces, the vaginal seepings of his mother, thousand pounds of sausage, stolen children's underwear, the very souls of all humans for merely existing, and Fanta

According to reality: Semen, Hungry men, Various fast food joints, microwave pizzas and other such microwave food, and Fanta

Chris still drinks his own bodily fluids mixed with fanta? Didn't he get over that after the ivy saga ended?

Well, he said he didn't care for the flavor that much anymore, but either way, the bigger impediment to Chris drinking his jizz is a lack of masturbation.

Oh god, are you telling me that you actually know how frequently he masturbates?

 

[Marvin]

Chris still drinks his own bodily fluids mixed with fanta? Didn't he get over that after the ivy saga ended?

Well, he said he didn't care for the flavor that much anymore, but either way, the bigger impediment to Chris drinking his jizz is a lack of masturbation.

Oh god, are you telling me that you actually know how frequently he masturbates?

Ahaha, nah, nothing like that, thank god. I'm just guessing based on not having a strong libido in the first place and him being fat, things like that.

 

[Henry Bemis]

Oh god, are you telling me that you actually know how frequently he masturbates?

Ahaha, nah, nothing like that, thank god. I'm just guessing based on not having a strong libido in the first place and him being fat, things like that.

He has already provided that information:

To keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself.

See: [cwc]Mass debating[/cwc]

Oh god, are you telling me that you actually know how frequently he masturbates?

Ahaha, nah, nothing like that, thank god. I'm just guessing based on not having a strong libido in the first place and him being fat, things like that.

He has already provided that information:

To keep myself from flying crazily off the handle at a random time, I keep my hormones in check at least twice a week by myself.

See: [cwc]Mass debating[/cwc]

(This makes-how many?-allusions to losing control and raping someone that he's made.)

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

(This makes-how many?-allusions to losing control and raping someone that he's made.)

This one, SheCameForCWC and when he said he was as wild as a serial raper when he went incognito as Jenkins Jinkies, that I can think of right now.

 

[Henry Bemis]

(This makes-how many?-allusions to losing control and raping someone that he's made.)

This one, SheCameForCWC and when he said he was as wild as a serial raper when he went incognito as Jenkins Jinkies, that I can think of right now.

Also, raping Rocky and "my hormones are slam-bangin'," so, I guess, at least five.

 

[Aiko Heiwa]

Chris eats whatever he can get his mitts on.

 

[Furina]

Where would Chris have learned to cook in the first place?

I think we all know he learns only by having repetitive patterns shoved into his brain. He watches the same shows his ancient parents watched (Gilligan's Island, I Love Lucy) and listens to older music as well. If Bob rarely cooked (and only for himself I imagine) and Bard never cooked, who would Chris have learned from? I doubt he watched anything cooking related on TV, which would involve concentrating and maybe even thinking for an extended period of time. Fast food and ready meals were the only world he knew and if no one is going to force him out that world, I doubt he will ever make the move himself.

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

He might have taken a Home-Ec class or two in HS.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

He might have taken a Home-Ec class or two in HS.

Contemporary living, to be exact. I assume his gal pals did a lot of the work.

 

[MysticMisty]

Chris would have treated that class like he did his other classes: an opportunity to read or sleep.

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

Wasn't that class mentioned in his school project? Something about lasagna (?) and a salad, only he let the girls deal with the salad because "greens make him green" or something? I could swear that the home ec/contemporary living/whatever made it into his project where he describes his week.