What does Chris eat?

[Bugaboo]

Wasn't that class mentioned in his school project? Something about lasagna (?) and a salad, only he let the girls deal with the salad because "greens make him green" or something? I could swear that the home ec/contemporary living/whatever made it into his project where he describes his week.

Yup, he talks about how lettuce and tomatoes make him "green in the face" which I've honestly never heard of anyone who gets sick at the tought of handling tomatos or lettuce. They were apparently making salad and pasta shells (which sound really tasty right now and are very easy to make) on the first day where he talked about contemporary living the teacher was talking about microwaving eggs, like wtf, I learned how to do that at 8 and I can't cook for shit. Why is this being taught to highschoolers?

 

[DJAndyMD]

Wasn't that class mentioned in his school project? Something about lasagna (?) and a salad, only he let the girls deal with the salad because "greens make him green" or something? I could swear that the home ec/contemporary living/whatever made it into his project where he describes his week.

Yup, he talks about how lettuce and tomatoes make him "green in the face" which I've honestly never heard of anyone who gets sick at the tought of handling tomatos or lettuce. They were apparently making salad and pasta shells (which sound really tasty right now and are very easy to make) on the first day where he talked about contemporary living the teacher was talking about microwaving eggs, like wtf, I learned how to do that at 8 and I can't cook for shit. Why is this being taught to highschoolers?

When I was in middle school, we had a Home-Ec course where we learned to cook and sew with a sewing machine. My high school had a cooking class but they teach the most basic things to make like cookies, scones, pizza, etc.

 

[The Critic]

Anything that's easy to throw in the microwave or fast food because its quick and requires little to no work to prepare.

 

[xlk]

Wasn't that class mentioned in his school project? Something about lasagna (?) and a salad, only he let the girls deal with the salad because "greens make him green" or something? I could swear that the home ec/contemporary living/whatever made it into his project where he describes his week.

He could use some fucking greens. Don't people get sick or something from lack of greens in their diet?

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Yup, he talks about how lettuce and tomatoes make him "green in the face" which I've honestly never heard of anyone who gets sick at the tought of handling tomatos or lettuce.

Hey, I hated salads when I was 7 too, so did a lot of my friends, we wanted to eat McDonalds all the time. Seems unsurprising that Chris shares the sentiment.

He could use some fucking greens. Don't people get sick or something from lack of greens in their diet?

Of course they do. Aside from nutrients, one of the biggest functions of vegetation in your diet is fiber, which regulates digestion and prevents

 

[Ryan Rash]

If it ain't fast food or delivery, it's food you have to nuke in a microwave.

Either way, he eats tons of garbage.

 

[PacSol]

Chris basically eats the way every eight year old wants to every day: McDonalds, instant foods, gallons of soda...a cornucopia, if you will, of junk food.

The difference being, most of us grew out that phase.

 

[Bugaboo]

Yup, he talks about how lettuce and tomatoes make him "green in the face" which I've honestly never heard of anyone who gets sick at the tought of handling tomatos or lettuce.

Hey, I hated salads when I was 7 too, so did a lot of my friends, we wanted to eat McDonalds all the time. Seems unsurprising that Chris shares the sentiment.

He could use some fucking greens. Don't people get sick or something from lack of greens in their diet?

Of course they do. Aside from nutrients, one of the biggest functions of vegetation in your diet is fiber, which regulates digestion and prevents

Maybe he ate a salad once and his poop turned green thus making him think he was sick.
I understand not liking lettuce but the thought of getting sick just by handling it is baffling.

 

[JULAY]

Since he obviously doesn't go to McDs everyday, I'm just wondering what he eats most of the time. It seems unlikely that he'd cook anything decent, but he could theoretically make a sandwich. I only ask this considering that I mainly eat sandwiches, cereal, and pasta occasionally, because I'm a JERK and don't give much thought to cooking. So I'm wondering what does Chris, who doesn't care for any kind of effort, eat?

Hungry Mans, McDonald's chicken nuggets, da Apple Dippers with da caramel, and Two Hotdogs for One Dollar American from Sheetz. And all of those things end up in .

I do the grocery shopping for this blind woman and her weekly shopping list looks a lot like one I imagine Chris would make: 10-12 Hungry Man dinners, 5 loaves of cinnamon/raisin bread, 3 large bottles of lemonade/limeade, 2 gallons chocolate ice cream and a package of cookies. Then she has snack foods that she switches up every week, usually either 2-4 fruit pies, 4 bags of spicy Doritos, 4 maple bars, or 2 packages of ice cream bars. It's like this every. single. week. And of course she's huge and has a multitude of health problems. The only fresh food she buys is used to feed her birds; for whatever reason, she just doesn't cook things for herself.

I assume Chris' dining habits are similar, just with more Mickey D's and specially-enhanced Fanta.

To be fair, she's blind, which makes dealing with cooking, i.e. using hot appliances and sharp objects, more hazardous than is probably reasonable for her. Chris is just a fat lazy autist... If he can manipulate electronics, which he can, then cooking isn't out of his spectrum of ability, but why would he cook from scratch when Hungry Mans and Chef Boyardee are just a Kroger trip away? Plus he'd have to clean the kitchen (without slipping on cat shit) which would cause him da stress...

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Wasn't that class mentioned in his school project? Something about lasagna (?) and a salad, only he let the girls deal with the salad because "greens make him green" or something? I could swear that the home ec/contemporary living/whatever made it into his project where he describes his week.

He could use some fucking greens. Don't people get sick or something from lack of greens in their diet?

Brother, there are many diseases based on lack of certain vitamins and minerals (osteoperosis, scurvy, etc). Also, lack of fiber causes diverticulosis, a very nasty disease of the colon, brother.

 

[Null]

Which is why you should eat your vitamins.

 

[TheIncredibleLioness]

Chris (and by extension, Barb's) diet astounds me...I mean yes, he's overweight, but with a diet that unhealthy and high in sodium, fats, etc., I'm surprised he's not heavier than he is! Has Chris ever had fresh food in his life? Yeah, I like the occasional McDonald's too, but I can't stomach the thought of eating that more than once, maybe twice, a week.

I don't get the greens thing either, but at the same time, it reminds me of a little kid who won't eat their vegetables, because vegetables are yucky. Usually these kids grow up and figure that they're not as yucky as they seem, but...well, this is Chris.

(Also, can anyone tell me what Sheetz is? I'm Canadian, and the name doesn't sound familiar at all...I'm guessing it's some sort of Southern fast-food place?)

 

[random_pickle]

Chris (and by extension, Barb's) diet astounds me...I mean yes, he's overweight, but with a diet that unhealthy and high in sodium, fats, etc., I'm surprised he's not heavier than he is! Has Chris ever had fresh food in his life? Yeah, I like the occasional McDonald's too, but I can't stomach the thought of eating that more than once, maybe twice, a week.

I don't get the greens thing either, but at the same time, it reminds me of a little kid who won't eat their vegetables, because vegetables are yucky. Usually these kids grow up and figure that they're not as yucky as they seem, but...well, this is Chris.

(Also, can anyone tell me what Sheetz is? I'm Canadian, and the name doesn't sound familiar at all...I'm guessing it's some sort of Southern fast-food place?)

We believe that he might have a fast metabolism, it would explain his ability to not be dangerously obese. Unfortunately for him, fast metabolism doesn't last forever.

 

[Marvin]

(Also, can anyone tell me what Sheetz is? I'm Canadian, and the name doesn't sound familiar at all...I'm guessing it's some sort of Southern fast-food place?)

Convenience store

 

[TheIncredibleLioness]

Chris (and by extension, Barb's) diet astounds me...I mean yes, he's overweight, but with a diet that unhealthy and high in sodium, fats, etc., I'm surprised he's not heavier than he is! Has Chris ever had fresh food in his life? Yeah, I like the occasional McDonald's too, but I can't stomach the thought of eating that more than once, maybe twice, a week.

I don't get the greens thing either, but at the same time, it reminds me of a little kid who won't eat their vegetables, because vegetables are yucky. Usually these kids grow up and figure that they're not as yucky as they seem, but...well, this is Chris.

(Also, can anyone tell me what Sheetz is? I'm Canadian, and the name doesn't sound familiar at all...I'm guessing it's some sort of Southern fast-food place?)

We believe that he might have a fast metabolism, it would explain his ability to not be dangerously obese. Unfortunately for him, fast metabolism doesn't last forever.

That does make a lot of sense! But you're also right; fast metabolism doesn't last forever, and now that he's in his thirties, I have to wonder if it'll start slowing down. The results won't be pretty, to say nothing of the resulting health problems (or maybe an exacerbation of the ones he already has now).

(Also, can anyone tell me what Sheetz is? I'm Canadian, and the name doesn't sound familiar at all...I'm guessing it's some sort of Southern fast-food place?)

Convenience store

Ahh thanks, I was wondering. Somehow I'm not surprised that Chris gets his food from places like McD's or convenience stores -- never mind not having to do anything besides get there and order; it's fast and cheap.

 

[PacSol]

^ It's not cheap so much as convenient. It's relatively common knowledge that buying ingredients and cooking your own food is cheaper and healthier in the long run. Instant meals and fast food are convenient and, well, fast, but the trade off is that they're more expensive in the long run and not as healthy as good old fashioned home cooking.

I'm almost afraid to ask just how long the Chandler kitchen has been such a mess...

 

[NobleGreyHorse]

(Also, can anyone tell me what Sheetz is? I'm Canadian, and the name doesn't sound familiar at all...I'm guessing it's some sort of Southern fast-food place?)

Convenience store

It goes as far north as Pennsylvania. They're pretty reliable if you have to make a long drive and want a made-to-order Subway-type sandwich that actually isn't too gross to be dealt with. Never tried the hot dogs, though. There's a big one at Breezewood, PA, where Chris would have had to turn west on his trip to Ohio (I think he even mentions the town) that serves a lot of truckers, and maybe as a result, has an incredibly large selection of cold drinks and snack food -- well, for what it is. The bathrooms are also reliably clean, at least north of DC (I don't know anything about the ones south of there).

There's also a family in my town with that last name. Indeed, there is a "Sheetz Funeral Home." Perhaps you can get your grandma prepared with pickles and extra meat.