What game do you wish Phil would play? - AKA best future TIHYDP material?

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Meta Junglira said:
Mechwarrior Online

Especially if his fans try to carry him...they'll just get paired up against other pre-made groups. He'd also probably spend the entire battle overheated and wonder why he's "randomly" shutting down.
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Oh hell, that would kill him. He'd get eaten alive.

It took me a while to think about what kind of games would actually be a benefit to Phil to somehow stimulate what I have been suspecting was a sub-average intelligence. I know it's stupid, but maybe something along the lines of some classics. Sorry that there are more than one. I have a method to my thought processes.

Mechwarrior 3
Quest for Glory 1 (EGA, not the crappy VGA version)
Zeliard
Xangband / Aliens Rogue-like
Ultima 1
Space 1889
Megatraveller 1

I don't know why I'm thinking about this like a school teacher trying to improve the worst student in the school, so sorry for the list, but it bugged me this morning after a friend told me about this thread.
 
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You should send him to play a game with an extremely rabbid fanbase, like warframe.

Anything negative he says the autistic spergs will lose their shit and start attacking him nonstop for it.
 
SomeSonicFag said:
He already played MGS
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He could try Chivalry: Medieval Warfare

The entire game past rank 25 (That should be when the noobshield is lifted and you're kicked out of the noob-only servers) is one massive exploit/glitchfest. For once he will be vindicated in his bitching about bugs, but he's going to get his ass handed to him so hard he'll break down into tears I guarentee.


Though to be fair, he's so shit I don't think he'll ever make it past rank 25.
 
hm, perhaps some various licensed games meant for kids? Him rage quitting that in annoyance could easily be a thing. Plus it would be funny if he couldn't beat games that literal children can win against
 
I think any sort of RTS games, but specifically Wargame: Red Dragon. The game doesn't have a learning curve, it has a learning cliff. Furthermore, you can't just zerg rush shit, you have to actually know some form of military strategy in order. You have a lot of shit to pay attention too. A complicated game in a really hard genre is sure to bring laughs.
 
Cuckmaster of Mossad said:
I know it's not exactly what you asked for, but it still could count as a game for kids.
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I still drop my jaw when seeing this video. I can understand many eastern country locations confusing Americans (I get confused with many east coast US states because they are many and weird shaped) but how the fuck to confuse Portugal and United Kingdom? It is like not knowing where California is located in US.
 
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A game like Battle Tanx would also be interesting. A game with difficulty made for children that's actually pretty good but also a simple story that'd probably confuse him and get him upset.
 
I would love to see him play any of the King's Field games. The precursors to the Souls games.

These games do not hold your hand. The second game in particular throws you right into a large beachside area with lots of ways to go.

If you try stepping into the water, you sink like a rock. You had a large kracken a little ways away from your starting point who you cannot kill until much later on.

And of course there are a lot of hidden and tucked away areas and quite a lot of backtracking.

King's Field 4 right out the gate can kill you instantly. There's a bit of unstable ground right in front of you that can drop you into lava. The only tell is that it's differently colored to the ground you can walk on.

Basically, Phil would die a lot in these games and there's no way he won't rely on chat to figure out where to go or what to do.
 
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scorptatious said:
I would love to see him play any of the King's Field games. The precursors to the Souls games.

These games do not hold your hand. The second game in particular throws you right into a large beachside area with lots of ways to go.

If you try stepping into the water, you sink like a rock. You had a large kracken a little ways away from your starting point who you cannot kill until much later on.

And of course there are a lot of hidden and tucked away areas and quite a lot of backtracking.

King's Field 4 right out the gate can kill you instantly. There's a bit of unstable ground right in front of you that can drop you into lava. The only tell is that it's differently colored to the ground you can walk on.

Basically, Phil would die a lot in these games and there's no way he won't rely on chat to figure out where to go or what to do.
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So it's basically first-person Souls on steroids?

I want him to play more games with random generation similar to Isaac - he'd never make any meaningful progress and constantly bitch about how random they are just like with GTA.
 
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Bridge to Nowhere said:
So it's basically first-person Souls on steroids?
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Pretty much. Although in terms of combat,I would say the games are a bit easier. A lot of it comes down to either circle strafing the enemy or baiting an enemy's attack and punishing. The emphasis of the games is definitely placed on the exploration. Not saying that there aren't really nasty enemies to deal with. The early game of both 2 and 4 in particular are pretty unforgiving.

Really, the biggest hurdle to overcome is just getting used to the controls. Your character is pretty sluggish (especially in 4) and you can easily find yourself getting attacked from behind or surrounded and turning the camera back around takes a while. So you have to play cautiously the entire time. Pretty much like any of the Souls games.

If Phil doesn't get sick of being lost he'll most likely not adapt well to the control scheme and give up fairly early on.
 
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Cave Story, or Super Paper Mario just to see him get lost and complain.
 
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