Containment What If?

His self entitlement and ego. Those two things are what make the A-LOGs hate him.

He'd be a step closer to bettering himself.

DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS would be your answer there. :D
 
Da Pickle Monsta said:
Lady Houligan said:
Da Pickle Monsta said:
Honestly, I'd manage to scrape together enough of the Chandler asset's to get about $1800. Then I'd book a one-way ticket to either Australia or New Zealand to depart the same day. Somewhere far from Barb.

*Edit, fuck passports. I know Chris doesn't have one of those.


OK, then, I'd book the ticket to the other end of the country. Maybe Alaska or Hawaii or Guam.
Can you imagine Chris in Alaska? "Mmm yeah, dere's nothin' here... oh dere's a bear... where's da nearest McDonald's?"

To be fair, Chris would probably do just fine for himself in Anchorage, at least until the winter came along with -35 F. I can't see him doing the necessary maintenance to his vehicle to keep it from freezing up.

He'd probably be able to manage in Fairbanks, or even Kenai or Juneau, but outside of those cities he wouldn't be able to fend for himself. For the love of God, we can't send Chris to Barrow, Bethel, or Nome.

Or we could be utter dicks and send him to Deadhorse. Population: 50.

Send him to Sarah Palin's house. That way he can claim he's seen Russia.
 
Taurine said:
Imagine, one day Chris and Barb come home from McDonalds to discover that their house is completely empty. All of Barb's shit that she hoarded vanished. No furniture as well. Even the stuff that overflowed into the front yard vanished.

Even Chris's room is completely empty. His video games, toys, and other completely worthless possessions, gone.

What would Chris and Barb do?

Well, it looks a hell of a lot like theft. So close, in fact, that the Police are there within the hour (even without a phone, they've head right to Rocky's to report it.)

Not going to lie, this would be abusive and mean to anyone. This isn't just Chris and Barb's useless crap that's been taken, it's things they rely on for their daily survival; their microwave is gone, washing machine, gone. Their pets are gone; any trace of Bob Chandler, gone too. So, this is clearly in a "step too far" category.

The Police will eventually shrug their hands and be unable to find anything. 14 Branchland is now missing its arthropod inhabitants as well, so maybe the bare carpet (or even concrete) is probably easier to live in then before. But anyone would feel horribly violated from having a life's stash stolen. If Barb and Chris wanted to sell 14 Branchland, this is a ready made opportunity to do so--and they might feel unsafe in their home to the point where they consider a sale. Or Barb opts to buy stuff again.

Its all very stressful; Barb's not in the best physical shape and there is an outside chance this sort of trauma could really break Barb, who has been hoarding as a coping mechanism. Does she want to rebuild her hoard? It's just not the same anymore... Dollars to donuts Barb has some sort of breakdown, which could be a few hours of genuine misery ranging to some sort of imminent death. Barb will probably survive, and probably respond irrationally (albeit understandably) blaming anyone who would take joy at their expense. If she finds peace, it will take months, and she might well have been shocked out of hoarding.

Chris got over the loss of his PS3 by buying another, his Sonichu Medallion by building another; most of the stuff he lost is going to be an annoyance to him. But he's lost two irreplaceble things:

1. He's lost any physical connection to his Father.
2. He's lost his dogs, who as Patty reveals, he really does care about even if he does it badly.

This is painful, no doubt. Still, I'd think Chris is likely to get another pet (perhaps multiples) and more vidya. He's also lost things like his sextoys.

---

WAIT: I FORGOT SOMETHING.

CWC has just lost all sorts of financial documents, as has Barb.

This is another nightmare on its own, and it gets merged into the above. The OP didn't specify that anyone screwed with their financials, but this could easily derail the Tugboat, particularly if the Tugboat check is also stolen or if necessary paperwork is taken. CWC/Barb would probably have to go through a major battle to collect a lost tugboat.

---

Ultimate Outcome:
CWC reaches out to trolls demanding a return of his stuff. Given the nature of what happened, the trolls are likely quite well behaved and Chris gets no real closure by welling at them.
Barb's death advances months because of stress, but it might be many years in the future anyhow. She may find a new coping mechanism, she might go to rebuild the horde, either way, she's still not a very nice person.
The Trolling community feels legitimately bad towards CWC for a month or so, but CWC has squandered good will before and will do it again.
 
Yeah this is probably gonna suck, but I'm going for it anyways.
What if Chris ended up in silent hill and had to literally face his inner demons? What would he see the town as? How would he handle it?
And most importantly, how many times do you think he would shit himself?
Personally, I see him being kind of like Eddie from silent hill. In fact, he basically IS a less psychotic version of Eddie! Fat, paranoid, convinced that everyone wants to mock him
 
The Dude said:
What would you do if you were in control of OPL's body for a day? A full 24 hours to make him your own flabby meat puppet. You can make him do or say ANYTHING you want.

Me personally: I would cut his hair into a Mohawk, tell Burb she's a fat and lazy waste of skin, get a tattoo that says "Sonichu is a homo", go to the GAMe PLACe store and apologize to Michael Snyder for being such an insufferable tool bag for so many years and that I will never again darken his store's doorstep, make a video for Youtube showing off my new tattoo and to inform the world that I am now starting my Love Quest for a Girlfriend-free-BOY, and finally take all his vidya and donate it to charity.

Ok.

6am: go for a hour walk with the dogs.
7am: Long Bath
8am: Buy a bag of apples, a bag of carrot, and some bagels. Discard any old fast food items there.
9am: Go through wardrobe, discard all horrible shirts, soiled underwear and otherwise defective cleaning. Discard all Tomgirl crap.
10am: Buy a couple of shirts, dress pants, and decent clothes. New Attire Style: Business Casual (and that's nearly what I wear off the clock as well).
11am: Eat lunch (Apple, Bagel, Carrot). Find a liberal church with permissive attitudes regarding LGBT (since Chris is quite possibly teh gay) and attend services.
12 Noon: Update Resume. New Synopsis: "I am an autistic man with a college degree that has struggled to find a job in a difficult economy. I am looking for a way to grow as a person through hard work and learning a trade."
1-3 PM: Apply at various stores, Fast Food Locations, quite possibly things like churches.
5pm: Inevitable blow up at Barb: Call Barb's bluff that she'll do XYZ because I was out all day doing stuff.
6pm: Craigslist posting of broken cars for cheap; might possibly just try to work out selling them for scrap.
8pm: Donate game consoles to Charity.
9pm: Make a Captain's Log Entry on Youtube under new handle "ChrisChanReturns", explaining that "I've been through some tough times, and have decided to improve my life. Give out large amounts of personal info to make people really annoying if Chris tries to not go through what I do.
10pm: Lie in bed. Have a conversation with "Sonichu" for Chris' benefit, in which I promise Sonichu that I'll "Get a Job, make Bob Happy, and work hard to make my heart sweet"

---

If any of it takes, I'll be a monkey's uncle, but why not break CWC out for a day and see if anything sticks?
 
Folks, all your ideas about setting him up with therapy and job applications will be nil as soon as Chris changes back into Chris. He'll stress sigh and not show up.

I'd rather do the following:

1. Shower. For a long time.

2. Buy decent looking clothing. Cut my hair. Get rid of tomgirl stuff.

3. Find out about assisted-living institutions for autistics in Canada.

4. Fly to Canada. Go to the best of these institutions I could find and check myself into it. Inform the staff that the next morning I'll seem to have a different personality. Tell them to go ahead with rehabilitation and social integration therapy no matter what.
 
I can imagine 90% of the prank calls he would get from listeners would be "JULAAAAAAAAY!" :julay: :julay: :julay: The first couple of times it would be funny, but would get real old real fast.
 
I would immediately make a new Youtube video announcing I was going to do a sex change to avoid being a homo. I would say that I should only be referred to now as Kaka Apple Julay.

Then I would find any new material, Sonichu art, new information, hidden diary entires and anything else that would be interesting to Christory and post samples online. However, if someone wanted full access to materials, I would make them pay money. Not too much, just a small donation and make an online Christory museum.

After that, I would make an all new Sonichu episode. It would be a compelling story about how Sonichu questions his sexuality, but comes to terms with the fact that he is gay. I would then sell the issue.

I would then start cleaning up the horde. True, it can't all be done in one day. I would at least clean up a room to where it would be livable.

By then, it should be evening. I would take a shower and make sure I avoid any mirrors. I would dress myself up in the prettiest dress I have and go out trying to find a boyfriend free boyfriend. Of course, I'll take pics of my adventure for my online friends. Late into the night, one of them should be drunk enough to come home with me and Chris would wake up the next morning with someone next to him for the first time. :heart-full:
 
He'd lose his balance one day while tagging parked coal cars, and hit his head on the rails.
 
Chris opens an old history book in his house, and...voila...his soul is transferred into George Washington's body around the time of Valley Forge.

How badly would he screw up? How would history be different?
 
Dress up like Donald Duck (sailor uniform, cap, no pants), drive over to Norfolk, find the biggest group of sailors I can, and pick a bare knuckle fight with all of them. Even with Chris' bird shit body, I think I'd hurt a few of them, enough so that it'd be all over the news and internet.

I think he'd love it. His brain is so dysfunctional in the natural realm, I almost suspect it'd be superhuman in some evil twisted realm. No love doll would go un-ducked.
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Edit: Ah, finally found the source... Deviantart member torture-device.​
 
The first question is, would anyone even know who George Washington was? He was just some rich nutcase who lost it, doomed his men trying to head to Philadelphia, and got executed by His Majesty the King, George III.

Surely some would know of Washington, although he'd be a minor footnote compared to the men who solved the rebellion, like General Howe, and the men whose loyalty would rebuild British North America, like its first Chancellor, William Franklin. A doomed band of men, betrayed by their new leader, Benedict Arnold, and "that damned rag" called the declaration falling silent.

So much hype, so little show. Another question is, would the rest of the world have followed if the Tea Baggers had succeeded at something like Saratoga? History would have taken a different course, for absolute sure. The Transcontinental Empire might simply have remained English, it might have maintained slavery into the late half of the 1800s, and there might have been popular reforms well before the rise the Levellers in the later half of that century.

History can turn on a dime, and a minor character like Washington might have had a great impact. But instead, he contracted some sort of illness, looking for regions unknown (Vidya, China, Sonichu?) and died attacking Philadelphia in winter.
 
He'll spend most of the time talking about the "trolling stupids".

Chris may make a video tour of his empty house or at least post some photos about it on his Facebook. And raged about it.
 
Alan Pardew said:
Chris may make a video tour of his empty house or at least post some photos about it on his Facebook. And raged about it.

Followed by "THAT IS MY HOUSE!-2: Electric Boogaloo"
 
Maybe he house would collapse without the hoard keeping the internal structure up?
 
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