Containment What If?

Unless the teacher was dressed as Sonic he wouldn't pay attention. And when he still couldn't attract women he'd blame the school for "sabotaging" him.
 
I hope kill myself isn't an option, cause I would.

But if it isn't, I would get a password on my computer only I know, hide all the videogames and force him to clean himself and learn how to properly dispose of bowel movements. If he does not learn, I will kick him out.

I would do the following:

Remove all Sonichus and Rosechus from the city, they're CWC spies.

Make the currency normal.

Resurrect Billy Mays so he can take this shit over.

Re: What If Chris Was Judged By The Inquisitor From Red Dwar

GrandNumberOfPounds said:
He would be replaced with Liquid Chris, someone who can draw a real parody comic, plays a real guitar for fun, speaks several languages, runs 5 miles a day and wins Kacey's affections and has a daughter named Crystal and a son named Reginald.

That, and he would have a job, be kind to his parents and actually have a chance with :heart-full:

What if Chris was really the second coming of GodJesus and The Bear?

Well...... for one, I would have one less thing to give a shit about.

For the other, I would have a party.


On the less dickish side, I would be slightly sad because I'll have one less thing to make fun of.

Re: What if Epic Raps Battles Of History did Chris vs someon

Chris-Chan vs. Stephen Colbert. I bet all my money on Mr. Colbert.
 
Meeko said:
Part of it will go to Barb, as always, but I imagine that he'd probably go do the usual: vidya and fast food.
I don't know if any of it is going to Barb.

But I think a lot of Chris' tugboat goes to Snyder and other bills.
 
RogerRabbit1988 said:
Well...... for one, I would have one less thing to give a shit about.

For the other, I would have a party.


On the less dickish side, I would be slightly sad because I'll have one less thing to make fun of.

:alog:
 
RogerRabbit1988 said:
Well...... for one, I would have one less thing to give a shit about.

For the other, I would have a party.


On the less dickish side, I would be slightly sad because I'll have one less thing to make fun of.

:alog:
 
...and the last thing A-Log saw was this ghastly translucent being with glowing red eyes and a Sonichu medallion around its neck lumbering towards him... :evil:
 
I would miss him. The internet would be a less amusing place without CWC.

As mentioned by Springblossom already, Chris is killing himself with his diet and lifestyle.
 
Sakamoto said:
I would miss him. The internet would be a less amusing place without CWC.

As mentioned by Springblossom already, Chris is killing himself with his diet and lifestyle.

Remember in his future message vid, he says he plans to live to at least 80 or 100.
 
Picklepower said:
Sakamoto said:
I would miss him. The internet would be a less amusing place without CWC.

As mentioned by Springblossom already, Chris is killing himself with his diet and lifestyle.

Remember in his future message vid, he says he plans to live to at least 80 or 100.

I don't think he has a say in that matter.
Remember the "deal" he had with the Grim Reaper?
Grim didn't hold up his end of the bargain vis-a-vis Bob Chandler....why would he honor the 80-100 Year Lifespan "deal" he had with Chris?

Nah, he's got Broke Willi Syndrome though.
 
Re: What if Epic Raps Battles Of History did Chris vs someon

Narrator: Epic Rap Battle of History!
Christian Weston Chandler
VS.
Stephen Colbert

BEGIN!

Colbert: I'm sorry everyone, but this won't be much of a show.
Just a fat slob who everyone knows.
He says he's an anti-Obama conservative, but I'm not impressed.
When's the last time you saw the tea party cross dress
? *Picture of Glenn Beck wearing women's clothing*

With me today is a fashion guru
of Kaka Make up basics
*CWC image of Kaka Makeup Basics*, on youtube.
His comic ideas are Sonic plus Chu
*Sonichu*
the most original ideas since Timecube.
*Timecube GIF*
But unlike that radical scientist Gene Ray
Mr. Chandler doesn't post anymore today!

Thirty one years old, he claims to be cool.
While all he does is miss his high school.
Now, I'm quite sure he'll be out here yelling
Just remember, he's a convicted felon.


CWC:

Mr. Colbert is untrue and dishonest, I'm a patriotic American!
I'm high functioning autistic, I do what I can
But he's not funny, he's crazy and completely mental.
That's why he's not on the news and on comedy central!
He has a fake show and I'm the real deal.
Creator of Sonichu and Rosichu, do not steal!
*Image of Sonichu and Rosichu*

He's rallied in Washington, but he's a troll villain.
Everyone knows my fan base is billions.
Don't believe this fake Colbert Report!
Get the real answers at 14 Branchland Court.
Don't trust his show, or google, or the internet;
trust only me in person, don't forget.

By the way, I'm horny and looking for china.
It'll save me $100 and be much finer...


Colbert: Did you all just hear that, right now?
He solicited you all for sex, that moron lolcow!
In fact, that's now the Colbert word of the Day!
That fatass is a lolcow and probably gay!


CWC: I am NOT GAY!!!
Chinas and Boobies give me erections.
Steven Colbert is lying and untrue!
There is no way I'd have sex with another dude!


Colbert: No, maybe you're not or maybe JuniorJenkies *Image of CWC with towel on head* is
But ladies and gentlemen, Christian W. Chandler will not escape
His previous indiscretions, including this SEX TAPE.
Or sexual behavior with his Vidya Console
Or his desire to f*** Lassie, that asshole.


CWC: You've MADE ME ANGRY, you troll, I'll Break you dead!
I'll real strong, I've moved a doghouse and it felt like lead!
I will strangle that jerk, Steven Colbert, shove a knife in his bra!
But first: CURSE YE HAMA HA!!!


Who Won
Who's Next
You decide

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY
 
I would be kinda sad. As much of an idiot and nutjob he is, I can't help but see a little bit of myself in Chris, and I can easily see myself in his position.

I'd imagine is Barb is still alive if that happened, she would pretty much lose the will to live.
 
scorptatious said:
I would be kinda sad. As much of an idiot and nutjob he is, I can't help but see a little bit of myself in Chris, and I can easily see myself in his position.

I'd imagine is Barb is still alive if that happened, she would pretty much lose the will to live.

It'd be the worst for Barb. She'd spiral into insanity faster than she is now. She would have lost both sons, since Cole wants nothing to do with her.
 
Pikonic said:
scorptatious said:
I would be kinda sad. As much of an idiot and nutjob he is, I can't help but see a little bit of myself in Chris, and I can easily see myself in his position.

I'd imagine is Barb is still alive if that happened, she would pretty much lose the will to live.

It'd be the worst for Barb. She'd spiral into insanity faster than she is now. She would have lost both sons, since Coleslaw wants nothing to do with her.


She would keep his corpse until it starts to rot, just imagine, "Gud morning Chrisshun, you have good dreamy dreams?" then she spoons with the corpse, of the recently deceased tomgirl. At the same time probably singing.

Re: What if Epic Raps Battles Of History did Chris vs someon

His natural opponent would be Alog.

A log: Folks if your Ma's in the room tell her to go, a mother would be offended by my filthy flow, except my mom, she's a liberal.
Chris your sex vids are grosser, than that scene in Bondage Game, when the one chick grew a penis, and came.
My fursona's got an 8 inch fox dick, Sonichu has a small prick, and your momma is a fat hick.
Know who your like CwC? Hitler, but what he did was potatoes, Why do you hate the homos? (that's all I can think of at the moment.)
 
Re: What if Epic Raps Battles Of History did Chris vs someon

Barb
 
He would have eaten himself into a coma by age ten and we would not have the glorious lolcow known as Kaka Apple Chrisp :tomgirl:
 
Fuzzy Wuzzy said:
I usually avoiding asking questions of what if Chris was born with severe conditions; especially the ones that can lead to premature death. I don't wish horrible things happen to Chris oh no. But for those who don't know what Prader Willi Syndrome is, its a rare condition where the person inflicted by it has lower intelligence and food addiction making them more prone to obesity. If Chris had that condition, my theory would be that his coddling parents would feed him into morbid obesity. Not to mention if you think his current entitlement issues and tantrums were bad, he's be 10 times worse if not more. So what do you guys think would happen if Chris was born with such a condition? I know his coddling parents are just going to keep feeding him into morbid obesity but that's just my theory.
I think Bob would have tried to curb his appetite but Barb would feed him whenever he wanted food.
Out of curiosity, how is this diagnosed?
 
i think i know both of them well enough to be almost certain that my dog would eventually bite the shit out of him.
 
He'd assume since we were living together, I'm his sweetheart. He'd get all creepy on me and I'd punch him. Then he'd cry on Facebook about the lack of females as I pack my stuff
 
Will there be followers still following his every action? What will he be doing in those 'glory' years? And how will he suffice without Barb?

Apologies if that sounded A-loggy, I'm just honestly interested how things would change or remain the same if he lived on to be an old man.
 
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