Containment What If?

[cypocryphy]

Ok, anybody remember this scene?

Yeah.

 

[impossibility]

Hopefully he'd be one of the ducks from duck hunt

The player would keep missing it because it's small and bent.

 

[Connor Bible]

What if a movie was made of Chris's life?

"The horror... the horror..."

 

[c-no]

Oh my god I loved that part! Stealing panties for a Pervy gym teacher. Yknow I'm wondering if Chris would enjoy playing bully. I mean, it's a game about high school, you have to beat up all the TROLLS and JERKS, plus you get to date all the hot girls in the school. It'd be perfect for him! Lets just hope some kind troll happens to chuck a copy into his yard

Don't forget that in Bully, you could get in trouble if you mess with authority figures. Imagine Chris trying to resist the attempts of the prefects miserably and imagine nerds throwing stink bombs at him for harassing the female member of the group.

 

[EI 873]

What if there was a novel by Chris? I sure would like to revisit Menchi-Nasu High.

 

[impossibility]

What if there was a novel by Chris? I sure would like to revisit Menchi-Nasu High.

Breakfast at Tippanston's.

 

[Connor Bible]

You trying to get us arrested, OP?

Quoted. As soon as we get there, Barb and Chris's rabid supporters would have the cops waiting for us.

What if there was a novel by Chris? I sure would like to revisit Menchi-Nasu High.

Publishers and editors wouldn't touch it, number one. I've seen some of Chris's prose, and trust me when I say that it makes me want to . The stories that I wrote in elementary school, by comparison, are on the level of Faulkner or Hemingway.

 

[CatParty]

^^ I can imagine that in lolcow high, everyone sits alone at lunch.

 

[SlowInTheMinds]

This venue looks promising:

http://www.cvilleshobbiesgamesandtoys.c ... rties.html

Would Mike allow us to rent his venue for a convention about the guy who ran him over?

It would be glorious, that's for certain.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

Re: What if Tiffany contacts Chris, and really lets him have

based on the latest Facebook posts, she's trying to forget he even existed. Telling him off would mean giving him some kind of contact route (email, Facebook, etc) so she probably won't contact him directly.

 

[c-no]

......anyone else imaging a "Lolcow High" sitcom starring all the bigname lolcows and trolls?

because I would watch the fuck outta that

As one person has mentioned, Chris and A-Log would be enemies/rivals in their school.
Another adversary Chris would deal with would be the Unknown Autobot who tries to troll Chris but also help him(in the most non-existent way possible)
Chris would try to attract a female lol-cow he perceives as pretty but fails.
There would be various cliques within the school: general lol-cow, creepy lol-cow, love-shys, SJW's etc.
The show would come under fire by various groups like South Park when it was new.
And some of us would watch the show.

 

[Sakamoto]

You trying to get us arrested, OP?

You needn't worry. The CWCville Police have all been fired because Chris hates all Jerkops now.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

......anyone else imaging a "Lolcow High" sitcom starring all the bigname lolcows and trolls?

because I would watch the fuck outta that

As one person has mentioned, Chris and A-Log would be enemies/rivals in their school.
Another adversary Chris would deal with would be the Unknown Autobot who tries to troll Chris but also help him(in the most non-existent way possible)
Chris would try to attract a female lol-cow he perceives as pretty but fails.
There would be various cliques within the school: general lol-cow, creepy lol-cow, love-shys, SJW's etc.
The show would come under fire by various groups like South Park when it was new.
And some of us would watch the show.

That would be me who said that. I also like to think that Unknown Autobot is an irregular friend of A-Log's - Sometimes siding up with the guy. Other times being a big dick to everyone around him.

But the biggest question I have is, who's the faculty at this place? Older Lolcows like Ray Jones?

 

[Foulmouth]

We could get the world championship of Kick the Autistic happening.

 

[Blue Max]

Re: What if Tiffany contacts Chris, and really lets him have

Well; I think if this had happened with other major possibilities in OPL's life still open I suspect it would be just a footnote. But those possibilities have become longshots, inside straights and shooting the moon simultaneously. Tiffany Gowen has returned to Chris' forebrain as a gal pal who never advanced beyond the friend zone and is therefore possible.

Tiffany can't win by contacting Chris, not by her objectives (to avoid the Drama Tomgirl), not to her outcomes (to look competent and healthy to her friends and acquaintances) and essentially only create content for a game that she's likely aware of and entirely uninterested in. Something has changed here in Tiffany, and it might not be for the best; she might now be interested in trolling, interested in online celebrity or some other angle that essentially means she's joined team troll.

There's not a lot of other ways to cut this, it's an unlikely but not impossible shift in priorities for Tiffany Gowen, and one that might well succeed in getting her some fleeting fame in a few circles. If she does this, it's possible she's doing it for advertising or promoting herself, but this is growing far from the OP's question.

Chris will rant and rave horribly, but Chris' reaction to an old gal pal's dumping of him is already well known: Megan Schroeder's Return, although bogus, is likely to be an excellent starting point for how Chris would react, although there are different people in play and they might well have moved on from the Special Needs guy. Tiffany might well never talk to Chris again, but he will surely believe that Tiffany is a Troll and draw some strange connections between her and the other trolls in his life, then describe the emotional abuse that never happened in words such as "Rape" and "Humiliation" and "Abuse"

This does have the residual kicker that this can somehow hit Chris offline--but Chris' Offline presence is a mute tomgirl thinking that the world is out to get him and not realizing that the world is struggling to deal with him.

Ultimately, this will provide a week of content but Chris will just 1984 himself into being the morally right, abused underdog and fail to understand the how and the why.

 

[Judge Holden]

But the biggest question I have is, who's the faculty at this place? Older Lolcows like Ray Jones?

Either that or important figures from christory (MLW as the crusty old principal, Snyder as the cafateria chef), big name trolls (Jimmy Hill as the English Teacher, BILLY MAYS as the janitor) or just spergs who fit the part (I can forsee a certain mr crowley being the school nurse responsible for administering vaccines)

 

[NoisyPanther]

Even as far as epic ween kids go, i don't think there'd be any that were stupid enough to try breaking into that place, even if they'd never seen it before now. Worst I can think of is that the house might be a victim of a drive-by paintballing.

Same with burglars, although on the off chance that someone WOULD try to break into that house, I'd feel very, very, very sorry for them. Chris himself might be more likely to hide and crap his briefs, but there's a part of me that thinks that he would be stupid enough to try and be a hero(and crap his briefs) and attack him with that pocket knife that took him five hours to open or something. I mean, that's all his ego would need, isn't it? Other than that, I can imagine Barb and Chris arguing and yelling at the burglar, calling him a troll, giving him all sorts of heck for breaking into their house, being threatened with all the legal action and all the lolsuits and the burglar being very confused and unsettled and wanting out of there ASAP.

 

[Judge Holden]

This halloween I had the pleasure of watching what was my first ever slasher film "I Know what you did last summer" which I first watched as a mere spergling at the age of 8 (we had an awesum babysitter). The film for those who have not seen it is a typical specimen of a cheap slasher film with a crazed psycho out for revenge against the teens who almost killed him, and it was after the film had finished that I got to thinking, what would happen if the entire situation was CWCified?

Imagine if you will that chris truly does follow up on his suicide threats and burns himself alive by igniting barb's horde after his demands that this forum and ED be destroyed go unanswered. After the state funeral and international mourning however members of the PVCC start disappearing from their super sekrit forum, the game place burns down mysteriously killing the entire snyder family, Mimm's bloated and violated body is discovered in a nearby wallmart, and every member of this forum gets a threatening letter in the mail saying simply this

ILL BREAK YOU DEAD!

Yes Chris has returned from the grave and is reeking his revenge upon all those who trolled, mocked, or interrupted his love quest, and will kill anyone to get at them.

So the question is, what do you do now that the Phantom tard comes to reap his terrible revenge on you and all you love?

Do you run for the hills to try and escape his wrath?

Do you ignore it entirely and continue on with your life?

Do you join a group of heroic spergs to destroy Chris's bones and thus end the curse?

 

[c-no]

Re: What if Tiffany contacts Chris, and really lets him have

I forsee that a new ARCH TROLLING BITCH will be added to the CWC rogues gallery, along with tales of how much LOVE AND TLC I SHOWERED HER WITH!! and how this meant china was basically promised and she is an evil harridan for not dedicating her life to servicing chris

In other words, Tiffany would be Megan 2: Electric Boogaloo. She is like Megan to Chris but only worse. Higher on the list, lower then the scum trolls.

This halloween I had the pleasure of watching what was my first ever slasher film "I Know what you did last summer" which I first watched as a mere spergling at the age of 8 (we had an awesum babysitter). The film for those who have not seen it is a typical specimen of a cheap slasher film with a crazed psycho out for revenge against the teens who almost killed him, and it was after the film had finished that I got to thinking, what would happen if the entire situation was CWCified?

Imagine if you will that chris truly does follow up on his suicide threats and burns himself alive by igniting barb's horde after his demands that this forum and ED be destroyed go unanswered. After the state funeral and international mourning however members of the PVCC start disappearing from their super sekrit forum, the game place burns down mysteriously killing the entire snyder family, Mimm's bloated and violated body is discovered in a nearby wallmart, and every member of this forum gets a threatening letter in the mail saying simply this

ILL BREAK YOU DEAD!

Yes Chris has returned from the grave and is reeking his revenge upon all those who trolled, mocked, or interrupted his love quest, and will kill anyone to get at them.

So the question is, what do you do now that the Phantom tard comes to reap his terrible revenge on you and all you love?

Do you run for the hills to try and escape his wrath?

Do you ignore it entirely and continue on with your life?

Do you join a group of heroic spergs to destroy Chris's bones and thus end the curse?

If I run for the hills, I'll just go at a leisurely running pace. Phantom Chris isn't any faster then when he was alive. If I ignored him, I'd just tell him the dang dirty forum member is in the middle of the Mojave desert, in a home with a mutant family trolling him. If I fought back, I'd just throw jars of pickles at him and then run him down with a car or shoot him. Since he's a ghost, maybe I'll exorcise him in the name of Christ and he goes away.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

I would just draw borderline homoerotic pictures of nude men and argue that it was a beautiful artistic statement while he spazzed about it. I'm sure I wouldn't be the only one.