Containment What If?

fridgesrants said:
Since I found out about Chris in 2008 I have always wanted South Park to do a parody of him. I doubt they will because they worried it would look like they are doing autism shaming.
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Trey Parker and Matt Stone are notoriously frightened of being criticized.
 
Chris and bob don't need fuel to stay warm. Their fat will do that for them.
 
Of course Bob doesn't need fuel to stay warm. Hell's plenty hot already.
 
Coldgrip said:
Of course Bob doesn't need fuel to stay warm. Hell's plenty hot already.
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Satan'd kick Bob out.
The Lowerarchy never can rely on their internet connection with The Great Lumberjack lurking around down there.
 
Chris would probably be forced to learn to actually cook food. Perhaps he'd become frustrated and give up for some time while his body metabolizes his fat reserves, but he would have to eat at some point or another. He would also have to entertain himself without the use of his precious vidya or computer; he could read books or take up another non-electricity dependent hobby to keep his mind off of everything. For the darkness, Chris and Barb could use flashlights as long as the batteries last. If they run out, then they could use candles (at the risk of setting their fire hazard of a home on fire). For the warmth (once again, no electricity. Electric blankets and heaters are out of the question), they would have to burn something; wood, propane, etc.

Barb, in her current state of health, has less of a chance to survive than Chris.

Personally, as much of a wimp as Chris is, I think his survival instinct is strong enough that there's a moderate probability that he and Barb could make it out alive. Perhaps not well, but alive.
 
Remember when Chris destroyed his PS3? Remember when he got a new one and he told Jackie he got a new one because he was going through withdrawal symptoms.

That, minus the ability to easily get his fix.
 
Judge Holden said:
I see things heading in several possible directions

THE SHINING route:

Cabin fever sets in instantly, and the ghosts of patti and the chandler cats buried beneath the house drive Chris to insanity, causing him to chase down barb through the hoard until she is rescued by a military expedition from goodwill sent to save their biggest customer. Chris then gets lost in the overgrown garden until he freezes to death

THE THING route

the microbes in the horde mutate in the cold and converge to create a nightmarish shapeshifting entity which first devours the cats and finally sets barb and chris against eachother in a battle for survival. Both of them kill eachother via the fuel oil without even realising the presence of the entity, allowing it to escape the burning ruin and wreck havock on the world

CABIN FEVER route:

The viruses in the horde include a nightmarishly virulent strain of necrotising faciitis which infects first the animals and then the two, who go utterly insane as their flesh rots from their bodies

Other options include cannibalism, months long orgy, or just continued passive aggression and mutual loathing
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May the option of paranoia be added: Chris decides to try and make a fire using part of the hoard. Barb refuses, thinking Chris wants to destroy. Slowly but surely, Barb thinks the hoard is trying to talk to her, telling her to get rid of Chris. Chris, suffering vidya withdrawal is told the same by his PS3. The two to try and kill each other but they lack the means and are too lazy to do so.
 
TastyWB 2.0 said:
Chris' computer is probably too shitty to run the PC version of Minecraft.

That leaves him only one option, DA HEXBAWKS version.
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Actually, it doesn't. Coincidentally, the PS3 version just got released today.
 
He'd become engrossed by it and never leave his computer until one day his mind and Minecraft meld into one and he is lost forever in Minecraft.
 
Pikimon said:
He'd become engrossed by it and never leave his computer until one day his mind and Minecraft meld into one and he is lost forever in Minecraft.
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And the legends will tell of the mysterious 'Tardobrine'
 
Chris would turn it into a sideshow stunt like Shoenice, Tedbarrus and Furious Pete and achieve new internet fame beyond Sonichu, would accept requests from weens, some ween would get him to eat a cup full of Lego bricks, something random out of the hoard or a pair of his DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS and choke to death on camera.
 
Lets say, sometime in 1984-85, Borb accidently dumped Chris on the sidwalk, as they were walking home in a drunken stupor. That same night, a New York lawyer/doctor power couple happen to be driving through Virginia on vacation, they stop by the sqwaking baby on the road and take it home with them. The couple is liberal, not racist or sexist and do not have midieval ideas about mental health. What would Chris' prospects be if he was raised by intelligent non bigoted people, all things considered?
 
His life would not be marked by failure, and we would not have a forum or wiki to talk about it.
 
Didn't Chris have an X-Box at some point? I feel like I read somewhere that he had tried to sell some X-box games, but I could be wrong.
 
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