Christory101
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2014
Containment What If?
- Thread starter darkhorse816
- Start date
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2013
Chris and Barb were panicked while trying flee the scene and wound up hitting him. While I do believe Chris doesn't feel any guilt over this, I don't believe he intended to hit him either. It was an accident plain and simple.
As for Snyder punching Chris, I wouldn't really blame him if he did considering Chris accused Snyder of being a child molester, but he wouldn't. At worst he'd have Fatty hauled off by the Jerkops for a nice extended stay in the county jail.
As for Snyder punching Chris, I wouldn't really blame him if he did considering Chris accused Snyder of being a child molester, but he wouldn't. At worst he'd have Fatty hauled off by the Jerkops for a nice extended stay in the county jail.
E
EI 903
Guest
kiwifarms.net
Coldgrip said:
Whether he deserves it or not, almost anyone who ended up decking Chris would feel bad about it later.
Christory101
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2014
Batman said:
Geez Batman..... A lot of people don't think Chris is the greatest dude.. but you seem like a true blue, honest to goodness, genuine A-logger. Is that right?
Burning Love
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2013
Kinda surprised this thread hasn't been made already.
So with all of dude's internet fame (infamy), how widely known he is, the spread of his pictures and videos, you would think someone would bring him up to be on Tosh.0. So... what if that day came? :arrow:
So with all of dude's internet fame (infamy), how widely known he is, the spread of his pictures and videos, you would think someone would bring him up to be on Tosh.0. So... what if that day came? :arrow:
E
EI 903
Guest
kiwifarms.net
Wouldn't happen. His story isn't concise enough to fit in their format, and Chris would probably refuse to appear even if invited.
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2013
The idea of a web redemption is PR damage control. If Chris were allowed on that show, and would agree to go, it would become his most infamous fuckup. He'd use it as a platform to publicly shame Megan, Mimms and the GalPals by name, and they'd probably wind up kicking him out of the studio somewhere around the point where he's accusing his old elementary school principal of molesting him.
(i seriously doubt they would even air it.)
(i seriously doubt they would even air it.)
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Yeah, there's simply too much backstory involved to just easily explain Chris to an audience of 14-year-old weens and Dane Cook fangirls. The most that anyone could infer from his story is "lol he's retarded", and Tosh's jokes wouldn't amount to anything more than that either.Hellblazer said:
You could also say that Chris is too toxic for television. Anti-bullying organisations would certainly rise to the occasion once complaints begin to surface that Tosh picked on an retard.
Andrew Noel Schaefer
Mentally ill goblin who only talks about soda.
Person of Interest
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2014
Some big fat texan-looking gay guy would come up to him while he is wearing a Tomgirl outfit and ask him to go 'out back' if ya know what I mean. 
Then big fat texan-looking gay guy kills Chris
Then big fat texan-looking gay guy kills Chris
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2013
At this point in Chris' life, it's far too late for any sort of "web redemption". Also, there's just too much stuff out there on Chris for insufferable video jockeys like Daniel Tosh to even pick just ONE clip. If Chris even would get air time, all it would do is give him another outlet for public humiliation by throw everything he's ever did back in his face and also create a new crop of weens to harass Chris.
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2013
OT but I remember watching one video, I think the recycling explanation video, where the top two comments were "like this if RayWilliamJohnson sent you here" given that =3 is the most subscribed YouTube channel, I'm willing to bet that Comedy Central has seen at least that one Chris video and gone "nah, we can't make fun of a legit retarded person"
Even if they did offer Chris a chance to appear, he'd be very difficult to work with, and his segment would get scrapped.
Even if they did offer Chris a chance to appear, he'd be very difficult to work with, and his segment would get scrapped.
Burning Love
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2013
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2013
9 times out of 10 a person on web redemption is a normal person who created one singular viral video; Chris has dozens. The redemption part is a chance for them to show the world that they aren't really as crazy as they look in the one instance. Chris really is as crazy as he look in any video, 24/7. Its not so much an in-depth examination of the subject as it is replaying the video and cracking jokes.
Like others said the backlash Comedy Central would get for making fun of a retarded person is the reason why they don't touch people like OPL.
Also, he'd do nothing and shit himself.
Like others said the backlash Comedy Central would get for making fun of a retarded person is the reason why they don't touch people like OPL.
Also, he'd do nothing and shit himself.
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2013
He'd have memories of his dear aussie sweetheart PandaHalo.
Oh wait, Chris doesn't remember shit
Oh wait, Chris doesn't remember shit
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2013
GrandNumberOfPounds said:
Aw, C'mon, "The Adventures of Hephestzeus and Aphrothena" is fucking mint!
revengeofphil said:
Which differs from real life.....hoooowwwwww, exactly?
Blue Max
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2013
I think you've got to expand the scenario to include Barb, Bob and possibly Cole as well to figure out what exactly happens with an ATL Christory.
Bob: Is an intelligent, worldly man but probably not by inclination of soldier. If Drafted or required to serve, he will. He may very well wind up widowed and losing his first wife, as is common in earlier history. But in really old times, this is his heir--David Chandler, who seems to be far more worthy than Our Pet Lolcow.
In most of history, Bob could get a teenage girl with the wealth he had in lieu of Barb. It may or may not be a happy relationship, but Bob would clearly be doing better. Given that Bob would have dictatorial power over his household in most of history, he's probably not dystopic in most of history.
Barb: She's got a bastard son. She might be willing to work, but flat out, she's probably unmarriageable in most of history. Cole has little choice but to make a large gamble to make something of his life--perhaps as a priest, a soldier, because he will never be noble. After hitting 30, Barb has either fully descended into being a whore (probably not as negative as we'd think of in premodern times) is a nun, or is litterally the strange old spinster. But the scenario requires Chris, so let's roll it in that direction--after a measure of early success as a courtesan, Barb has wound up unmarried and struggling to make ends meet.
There's no way that pre-1900 Bob would marry Barb, but it's quite possible that Barb finds Bob at a bar, convinces him to have some fun, and winds up pregnant.
Alt-Chris is conceived.
Bob moves on, his encounter with a Fading Prostitute not really worth giving up on getting a legitimate wife. Eventually, he spends his last twenty five years with a peasant's daughter, who is just so poor that she really can't do any better.
Bob is out of the picture.
Meanwhile, Barb is pregnant and Abortion is a very risky business. But she's getting too old to sell her body now. Infanticide and Abandonment are both options adoption probably not. Chris could get killed by Barb, but it leaves Barb with no way to survive.
Chris will be kept.
Chris will work from childhood.
Hunger will prevail when common sense and white knighting do not.
Chris' childhood is radically different than our own. There's no Bob in his life, but there is a very strong motivation to work and work hard. He has strange dreams, he is not the sharpest knife in the kitchen, but if he does not work he does not eat.
Barb loses control over Chris. She'd never been good at building bonds with her family, and her first son has already left. Chris' labor puts him in circles with much more normal people, and he's a bit eccentric, as opposed to being high functioning autistic. One Cold Winter, Barb dies and Chris doesn't know or care.
Alt Chris is more than fifty pounds lighter than OPL, his mannerisms are mostly those of an uneducated yeoman with eccentric quotations, and he can not read or write. All the same, he's enough of a man to get a wife. Said wife probably quietly tolerates his eccentric behavior, is considerably smarter than Alt-Chris, and is in the drivers seat. In exchange for a well kept home, sex when desired and the daughter he's dreamed of, Chris largely follows the wishes of his wife.
Said wife really can't be an alt-Megan, Casey Devoria or any kind of looker. Chris gets a woman in his same socioeconomic (plebian) class and frankly doesn't ask for more.
At Alt-31, Chris is a father of a few kids, is essentially a laborer, and remains nearly broke. He is honest to his wife, because for some reason his wife is always able to see through everything he tries. At the back of his mind, he needs that woman.
Chris lives an unremarkable life, growing old and dying at a respectable age. He does not know of his father, and only met Cole when he invited him to his wedding. Genetically stacked towards Autism, Chris' children and grandchildren show some of strange behavior he does. It will take a great social opportunity--like discovering a new frontier, crusades against infidels, or somehow rolling well on appearances, for the to get out of the peasantry.
Sonichu: Can't happen without Sonic and Pikachu.
X+Y Portmanteau: Chris can't afford art supplies and needs to work. Also, he understands he needs to work.
Alt 10/28/11: Alt Chris is actually fairly tough; if he decided he had a problem with a shopkeeper he might very well kick his ass. The Law would disapprove, and it could lead to Chris being executed if Alt-Snyder dies.
Alt January Fire: Chris' Wife is ten times the woman Barb ever was. Averted.
Chris is truly a product of our time...
Bob: Is an intelligent, worldly man but probably not by inclination of soldier. If Drafted or required to serve, he will. He may very well wind up widowed and losing his first wife, as is common in earlier history. But in really old times, this is his heir--David Chandler, who seems to be far more worthy than Our Pet Lolcow.
In most of history, Bob could get a teenage girl with the wealth he had in lieu of Barb. It may or may not be a happy relationship, but Bob would clearly be doing better. Given that Bob would have dictatorial power over his household in most of history, he's probably not dystopic in most of history.
Barb: She's got a bastard son. She might be willing to work, but flat out, she's probably unmarriageable in most of history. Cole has little choice but to make a large gamble to make something of his life--perhaps as a priest, a soldier, because he will never be noble. After hitting 30, Barb has either fully descended into being a whore (probably not as negative as we'd think of in premodern times) is a nun, or is litterally the strange old spinster. But the scenario requires Chris, so let's roll it in that direction--after a measure of early success as a courtesan, Barb has wound up unmarried and struggling to make ends meet.
There's no way that pre-1900 Bob would marry Barb, but it's quite possible that Barb finds Bob at a bar, convinces him to have some fun, and winds up pregnant.
Alt-Chris is conceived.
Bob moves on, his encounter with a Fading Prostitute not really worth giving up on getting a legitimate wife. Eventually, he spends his last twenty five years with a peasant's daughter, who is just so poor that she really can't do any better.
Bob is out of the picture.
Meanwhile, Barb is pregnant and Abortion is a very risky business. But she's getting too old to sell her body now. Infanticide and Abandonment are both options adoption probably not. Chris could get killed by Barb, but it leaves Barb with no way to survive.
Chris will be kept.
Chris will work from childhood.
Hunger will prevail when common sense and white knighting do not.
Chris' childhood is radically different than our own. There's no Bob in his life, but there is a very strong motivation to work and work hard. He has strange dreams, he is not the sharpest knife in the kitchen, but if he does not work he does not eat.
Barb loses control over Chris. She'd never been good at building bonds with her family, and her first son has already left. Chris' labor puts him in circles with much more normal people, and he's a bit eccentric, as opposed to being high functioning autistic. One Cold Winter, Barb dies and Chris doesn't know or care.
Alt Chris is more than fifty pounds lighter than OPL, his mannerisms are mostly those of an uneducated yeoman with eccentric quotations, and he can not read or write. All the same, he's enough of a man to get a wife. Said wife probably quietly tolerates his eccentric behavior, is considerably smarter than Alt-Chris, and is in the drivers seat. In exchange for a well kept home, sex when desired and the daughter he's dreamed of, Chris largely follows the wishes of his wife.
Said wife really can't be an alt-Megan, Casey Devoria or any kind of looker. Chris gets a woman in his same socioeconomic (plebian) class and frankly doesn't ask for more.
At Alt-31, Chris is a father of a few kids, is essentially a laborer, and remains nearly broke. He is honest to his wife, because for some reason his wife is always able to see through everything he tries. At the back of his mind, he needs that woman.
Chris lives an unremarkable life, growing old and dying at a respectable age. He does not know of his father, and only met Cole when he invited him to his wedding. Genetically stacked towards Autism, Chris' children and grandchildren show some of strange behavior he does. It will take a great social opportunity--like discovering a new frontier, crusades against infidels, or somehow rolling well on appearances, for the to get out of the peasantry.
Sonichu: Can't happen without Sonic and Pikachu.
X+Y Portmanteau: Chris can't afford art supplies and needs to work. Also, he understands he needs to work.
Alt 10/28/11: Alt Chris is actually fairly tough; if he decided he had a problem with a shopkeeper he might very well kick his ass. The Law would disapprove, and it could lead to Chris being executed if Alt-Snyder dies.
Alt January Fire: Chris' Wife is ten times the woman Barb ever was. Averted.
Chris is truly a product of our time...
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2014
By the way, within the context that the character is real within this "What if?" scenario.
Please format all examples as:
"If Chris tried to sweetheart X from Y series, Z would happen."
As an example,
If Chris tried to sweetheart Misty from Pokemon, he would be arrested for pedophilia.
(Mods feel free to lock this thread if there already is one for this.)
Please format all examples as:
"If Chris tried to sweetheart X from Y series, Z would happen."
As an example,
If Chris tried to sweetheart Misty from Pokemon, he would be arrested for pedophilia.
(Mods feel free to lock this thread if there already is one for this.)