Containment What If?

[Randall Fragg]

What if Chris was the anti-Christ, and produces a Sonichu comic so bad that it drives people insane? Viewing it causes your mind to break from it's shear horribleness, and you either break down and worship Chris or claw your own eyes out in an attempt to rid yourself of what has been branded into your mind.
Or, what if Chris became a supervillian? (Let's give him really powerful superpowers for the lutz). He can create things from his own fucked up imagination, fly into an invincible state of "Tard Rage", break people's minds by projecting his comics directly into their brains, and when he shits himself it creates a pressure wave of stench and farts, but in order to retain his powers he must recycle his vital essence. I can see him running around with an army of Sonichus, trying to be a superhero and failing miserably. Like using his powers to avenge petty grudges, fighting random "trolls", trying to make gay marriage illegal everywhere, blowing up a tobaky factory with all the workers inside, robbing stores with his powers, and fighting The Righteous Order of Legendary Legionaries, a group dedicated to stopping his reign of terror.

 

[Bosnian Wizard]

What if Chris and Jace were roommates?

They'd get into an argument over whether Sonichu or Tiberius Rising is the best original work, then they'd get into an argument over whether to fill the room with Sonichu or military themed memorabilia, then they'd get into an argument over whether Chris with his lemonade lifting skills or Jace with his parkour abilities is the best physical specimen, then they'd get into an argument over whether it is preferable to crap in their briefs or in a bucket.

Then they'd realise how similar they are and... well... a tomgirl doesn't kiss and tell .

But probably not.

 

[Mogambo]

What if Chris was the anti-Christ, and produces a Sonichu comic so bad that it drives people insane?

Chrissy already has a certain Lovecraftian quality to him. I mean, he's pudgy, pale white... the whole Innsmouth look. He could conceivably pass for a Deep One already.

Also, holy crap, does this mean Sonichu would be sort of like The King in Yellow? He's already basically just a shitty yellow recolor of Sonic the Hedgehog. How ironic...

Or, what if Chris became a supervillian? (Let's give him really powerful superpowers for the lutz). He can create things from his own fucked up imagination, fly into an invincible state of "Tard Rage", break people's minds by projecting his comics directly into their brains,

Or just break them dead, like he threatened to do with Jason Kendrick Howell?

 

[OtterParty]

What if Chris was the anti-Christ, and produces a Sonichu comic so bad that it drives people insane? Viewing it causes your mind to break from it's shear horribleness, and you either break down and worship Chris or claw your own eyes out in an attempt to rid yourself of what has been branded into your mind.
Or, what if Chris became a supervillian? (Let's give him really powerful superpowers for the lutz). He can create things from his own fucked up imagination, fly into an invincible state of "Tard Rage", break people's minds by projecting his comics directly into their brains, and when he shits himself it creates a pressure wave of stench and farts, but in order to retain his powers he must recycle his vital essence. I can see him running around with an army of Sonichus, trying to be a superhero and failing miserably. Like using his powers to avenge petty grudges, fighting random "trolls", trying to make gay marriage illegal everywhere, blowing up a tobaky factory with all the workers inside, robbing stores with his powers, and fighting The Righteous Order of Legendary Legionaries, a group dedicated to stopping his reign of terror.

Should be posted here instead: http://cwckiforums.com/threads/what-if-the-third-worst-thread-why-is-my-name-pink-discuss.2201/

 

[ToroidalBoat]

What if Chris was the anti-Christ

According to fundamentalist Christians, the Antichrist will put an image of himself in the temple (rebuilt) in Jerusalem.

 

[Broder Daniel]

Maybe this has been asked before, but what if Chris never won that Sonic competition when he was a kid?

 

[Kosher Dill]

Maybe this has been asked before, but what if Chris never won that Sonic competition when he was a kid?

Then Chris would have never bought "Star Trek: The Videogame" at Kay-Bee, and he wouldn't start all his videos with "Captain's Log".

 

[Marvin]

Maybe this has been asked before, but what if Chris never won that Sonic competition when he was a kid?

Then he wouldn't have whatever prizes he won at that competition.

 

[normankrasner]

What is Chris went to rehab or therapy for his vidya addiction?

 

[Xarpho]

I was going to ask "What if Chris and Barb were invited to Cole's wedding?" but then I realized what would happen:

- Chris would be extremely bored, play with his DS or iPhone during the ceremony
- He would not socialize with others, except to make creepy advances toward women--who may or may not be underaged
- He would ask Cole inappropriate questions, probably being extremely rude in the process (deliberately or accidentally, probably both)
- He and Barb would stuff their faces full of food at the reception
- He and Barb would wear awful clothes and you'd be lucky if they showered--ironic because some Goodwills can stock decent semi-formal clothing.

- The good news is that Charb would only go if Cole paid for their hotel and travel expenses, which won't happen.

 

[Randall Fragg]

According to fundamentalist Christians, the Antichrist will put an image of himself in the temple (rebuilt) in Jerusalem.

And suddenly a picture of a stereotypical "temple of evil" with a giant engraving of the "big straw" drawing popped into my mind...

I was going to ask "What if Chris and Barb were invited to Cole's wedding?" but then I realized what would happen:

• Chris would be extremely bored, play with his DS or iPhone during the ceremony
• He would not socialize with others, except to make creepy advances toward women--who may or may not be underaged
• He would ask Cole inappropriate questions, probably being extremely rude in the process (deliberately or accidentally, probably both)
• He and Barb would stuff their faces full of food at the reception
• He and Barb would wear awful clothes and you'd be lucky if they showered--ironic because some Goodwills can stock decent semi-formal clothing.

I can see that as a plot of a comedy. Christian and his mom going to a formal event and completely screwing it up. Hey Hollywood, an Internet commenter talking about a creepy man child just came up with an idea better than almost everything you've done in the past year, send him a few million bucks and a trash bag full of cocaine.

 

[Meeko]

I can see that as a plot of a comedy. Christian and his mom going to a formal event and completely screwing it up. Hey Hollywood, an Internet commenter talking about a creepy man child just came up with an idea better than almost everything you've done in the past year, send him a few million bucks and a trash bag full of cocaine.

It has the makings of an indie dark comedy that you'd see at Cannes. I can see them setting Chris up as a sympathetic character, then slowly showing how unlikable he is by the movie's end.

I always wondered what would happen if Chris was blind. Can't remember if this was asked before, although it probably was.

So here's the twist: What if Chris had been blinded during the fire?

 

[Broder Daniel]

I always wondered what would happen if Chris was blind. Can't remember if this was asked before, although it probably was.

So here's the twist: What if Chris had been blinded during the fire?

His art will look the same

 

[Aleister Crowley]

What if Chris was the anti-Christ, and produces a Sonichu comic so bad that it drives people insane? Viewing it causes your mind to break from it's shear horribleness, and you either break down and worship Chris or claw your own eyes out in an attempt to rid yourself of what has been branded into your mind.

I'll entertain this idea, just for the "lulz" as some of you would say. I think this is based on a premise that the "Great Beast" is the bad guy, which is Osirian thinking and thus the Old Aeon's way of seeing the world. If you use New Aeon thinking, then Chris being the Great Beast would be a good thing and would make him a good guy. Of course, he's not because I am the Mega Therion and the prophet of Ra-hoor-khuit, where I have not made a Sonichu comic, I've made something better. Maybe I should make a comic to better explain my ideas.

Let's be frank, Chris is boring and he has no real value to anyone as a source of entertainment. I mean, here we are having to add stuff to Chris to make him somewhat interesting. I think that's proof he's lost his value as a lolcow.

 

[Kosher Dill]

So here's the twist: What if Chris had been blinded during the fire?

His tugboat would go up because of that, and he'd still spend it all on vidya and Legos he couldn't use anymore.

 

[Ghost Got Double Dipped]

Dunno if this one had been done before, but here goes.

What if Chris smoked weed?

 

[Marvin]

Dunno if this one had been done before, but here goes.

What if Chris smoked weed?

Go watch the video of Chris getting drunk. Same result.

 

[Anonimo]

Go watch the video of Chris getting drunk. Same result.

Which video was that? Was that the one where he went out to the bar and had his first Long Island Iced Tea?

I was going to ask "What if Chris and Barb were invited to Cole's wedding?" but then I realized what would happen:

- Chris would be extremely bored, play with his DS or iPhone during the ceremony
- He would not socialize with others, except to make creepy advances toward women--who may or may not be underaged
- He would ask Cole inappropriate questions, probably being extremely rude in the process (deliberately or accidentally, probably both)
- He and Barb would stuff their faces full of food at the reception
- He and Barb would wear awful clothes and you'd be lucky if they showered--ironic because some Goodwills can stock decent semi-formal clothing.

- The good news is that Charb would only go if Cole paid for their hotel and travel expenses, which won't happen.

I direct you to this post from the Christian Love Day Surprise thread, and personally, my favorite explanation there is of what might happen. Try reading it as Barb and Chris for added amusement

Imagine if they showed up WITHOUT the invitation.

"Speak now, or forever hold your peace."
-BAM!- The door swings open. Chris comes tumbling through in his "fancy jacket" crumpled over the top of his Manchester High shirt.
"HEEEYYY DEEEERREE BRUDDER!" Chris yells happily, nearly breaking the stained glass windows due to the sheer pitch and volume of it.

Barb storms in. "COLE! GETCHER THINGS! MAMA'S HERE, YA DON'T NEED THAT GUTTER-ASS HOMEWRECKER!"
Cole looks over at his bride-to-be sheepishly. She takes a step back in shock.

Suddenly the aroma of sardines, ass sweat, and soggy car-ride Q-Sands waft over the attendees.

Barb points a bony decaying finger at his fiancee. "YA DON'T NEED HER! MAMA AND CHRISSUN GOT ALL THE GOD DAMN SPOONIN' YOU NEED! GET IN THE CAR! ALSO, I NEED GAS MONEY."
Chris pipes up, as high pitched as ever. "YEAH! I MEAN, YOU KNOW! DA GAS IS ESSPENSIVE!"

Every non Weston stampedes out of the Church, including Cole's bride.

"SEE? AH TOLD YA SHE WAS NO GOOD FER YA!"

 

[cahoots]

what if for Cinco de Mayo chris ate 5 jars of mayonnaise

 

[TrippinKahlua]

what if for Cinco de Mayo chris ate 5 jars of mayonnaise

I couldn't do anything BUT shit myself.

"People think I taste oily… I don't think so. Do you?"