Containment What If?

six.four.systems said:
What if Chris was a helicopter.
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What if Chris was a Train?
***
"...Chris is an Autistic Tank Engine, who lives at the big station on the Island of Sodom. He has six small wheels, a short stumpy funnel, a big chunky boiler, and a tiny lopsided coupling. He's a lazy little engine, too, always playing vidya( despite having a lack of hands) while the other engines do all the HARD WORK. And whenever the female engines come into the station, Chris waits in a siding with a large sign reading "LOOKING FOR A BOYFRIEND FREE FEMALE ENGINE". The female engines hated seeing Chris, and were always glad to be rid of him and his creepy stare. Chris thinks he's the handsomest engine on the whole railway, but all the engines beg to differ. Even James the Red Engine was put off by Chris's ego, and that's saying something! But of course, Chris thinks James is a HOMO, so he takes no notice.

One day after Thomas returned to the station, he saw Chris was sleeping in the siding. Thomas puffed up alongside him looking very cross. You see, Thomas had been doing all of the work Chris was supposed to be doing ever since he became part of the railway. He whistled loudly and angrily and woke Chris up. "Wake up Fat Face! Do some hard work for a change and get some exercise! Lord knows you need it..." And with that, Thomas puffed away and had a long, long drink at the water tower. Chris was mad at Thomas, and decided that instead of going back to sleep he would think about how to get back at him. Of course, this gave Chris much STRESS and caused him to crash back into slumber..."
 
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Anonimo said:
What if Chris was a Train?
***
"...Chris is an Autistic Tank Engine, who lives at the big station on the Island of Sodom. He has six small wheels, a short stumpy funnel, a big chunky boiler, and a tiny lopsided coupling. He's a lazy little engine, too, always playing vidya( despite having a lack of hands) while the other engines do all the HARD WORK. And whenever the female engines come into the station, Chris waits in a siding with a large sign reading "LOOKING FOR A BOYFRIEND FREE FEMALE ENGINE". The female engines hated seeing Chris, and were always glad to be rid of him and his creepy stare. Chris thinks he's the handsomest engine on the whole railway, but all the engines beg to differ. Even James the Red Engine was put off by Chris's ego, and that's saying something! But of course, Chris thinks James is a HOMO, so he takes no notice.

One day after Thomas returned to the station, he saw Chris was sleeping in the siding. Thomas puffed up alongside him looking very cross. You see, Thomas had been doing all of the work Chris was supposed to be doing ever since he became part of the railway. He whistled loudly and angrily and woke Chris up. "Wake up Fat Face! Do some hard work for a change and get some exercise! Lord knows you need it..." And with that, Thomas puffed away and had a long, long drink at the water tower. Chris was mad at Thomas, and decided that instead of going back to sleep he would think about how to get back at him. Of course, this gave Chris much STRESS and caused him to crash back into slumber..."
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When I read this I couldn't help but imagine George Carlin saying it.
 
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What if Chris was the reincarnation of Jesus Christ? After all, his first name is Christian...

If that was the case, I guess the reason judgement day hasn't happened yet is because Jesus Chris shat himself and did nothing.
 
Konstantinos said:
What if Chris was the reincarnation of Jesus Christ? After all, his first name is Christian...

If that was the case, I guess the reason judgement day hasn't happened yet is because Jesus Chris shat himself and did nothing.
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Or maybe he's the Anti Christ...
 
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CätPärty said:
what if chris bought a gallon of milk
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Dude, my roommate has a weird boner for milk. Like, he buys tons of organic milk and drinks them. One time he checked the fridge to make sure he had enough milk to last him the weekend, because he can't run out of his milk. He's like an addict.

Anyway: what if Chris Chrissed the Chris Chris? Discuss.
 
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