Containment What If?

Unbovvered said:
What if this What If? thread was preserved forever in Spergatory?
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Then the forums would be plagued with "What If?" threads until Null outright bans them which will happen eventually.

I've seen dozens of cases like this.
 
Mr. 0 said:
What if Snyder somehow died of a heart attack on that fateful day on 10/28? How fucked up do you think Chris might have been from that experience?
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Well, that would probably be the unceremonious end of the cautionary tale of CWC. He'd get sent off to jail and he'd probably get a :pickle: up the you-know-what. On the bright side, he might finally fulfill his love quest if that were to happen. :heart-full:

Speaking of which, what if Chris somehow got on the wrong side of the law and his get-out-of-jail-free-autism failed him? What if he actually got sent to jail? What would happen to him in the big house?
 
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FifthColumn said:
What if Chris was an Ottoman emperor? What would he do if he had all the power and sweethearts he wanted?
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Conincidentally, there was an Ottoman sultan like Chris. His name was Ibrahim I and he was infamous for being a fat, paranoid, insane idiot that spent much of his life in the confinement of his room.
 
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trueandhonestfan said:
We'd have The Chris Chandler Show, commercial free of course.
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I see a lot of posts about how Chris views Here Comes Honey Boo Boo as his rival for viewers. Assuming he'd be willing to play things up for the camera and it's more likely that he wouldn't because he'd be trying to be entertaining while still coming across as "suave" for da ladies, I can see him becoming an oddity of sorts ala a more smelly, less socially acceptable Jersey Shore. If he did manage to get some sort of viewership, Chris would probably do better on the show than he would have otherwise. They'd ensure that he kept himself clean, Barb would bet better healthcare than she has in years, and odds are that some famewhore would start screwing around with Chris just so she can get on TV.

The drawback is that Chris would have to prove that he's marketable beyond a one-off episode, which is fairly difficult to do. Even Honey Boo Boo is having trouble keeping a steady audience.

Randall Fragg said:
What if Chris got married? Like, an arranged marriage? Like, it turns out that Chris is a distant relative of European nobility and gets dragged into marriage so he can make an heir to the throne.
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He might get married to a guy, as he figures that it'd be in name only. Chris is an idiot, but he's also somewhat aware that people don't always marry for love. He'd try to find a female to marry and then just stress-sigh when he can't. Other than that, he'd probably go for it and the other person (a woman 99.9% of the time) would just put up with it for the sake of crown and country. King Henry the 8th was pretty well known for being even more repulsive than Chris when it came to his body, as KHt8 was covered with pus filled boils, had ulcers all over his legs, and had severe gout, among other physical ailments and was reported to be completely nauseating to be in the same room with as far as smells go. Now I know that Chris is supposed to be gross, but he's not KHt8 gross and KHt8 still reportedly managed to get laid even after he turned into a human medical monstrosity, so odds are that people would just put up with him. Plus people would still make fun of him, but the stuff we see as freaky now would be seen as merely eccentric in royalty. I remember reading a Discworld novel where Nobby Nobbs (the most repulsive looking/smelling person in the Discworld universe) went from being weird to eccentric when people thought he was royalty.
 
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Meeko said:
He might get married to a guy, as he figures that it'd be in name only. Chris is an idiot, but he's also somewhat aware that people don't always marry for love. He'd try to find a female to marry and then just stress-sigh when he can't. Other than that, he'd probably go for it and the other person (a woman 99.9% of the time) would just put up with it for the sake of crown and country. King Henry the 8th was pretty well known for being even more repulsive than Chris when it came to his body, as KHt8 was covered with pus filled boils, had ulcers all over his legs, and had severe gout, among other physical ailments and was reported to be completely nauseating to be in the same room with as far as smells go. Now I know that Chris is supposed to be gross, but he's not KHt8 gross and KHt8 still reportedly managed to get laid even after he turned into a human medical monstrosity, so odds are that people would just put up with him. Plus people would still make fun of him, but the stuff we see as freaky now would be seen as merely eccentric in royalty. I remember reading a Discworld novel where Nobby Nobbs (the most repulsive looking/smelling person in the Discworld universe) went from being weird to eccentric when people thought he was royalty.
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Chris isn't the richest person in the country, nor is he royalty (he might trump up that "Anne Boleyn" connection though, unaware that her sole daughter never had any children).

As for legally marrying a dude, Chris would expect him to not only pleasure him somehow but also exist to serve him while :stupid: does nothing .
 
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Xarpho said:
Chris isn't the richest person in the country, nor is he royalty (he might trump up that "Anne Boleyn" connection though, unaware that her sole daughter never had any children).

As for legally marrying a dude, Chris would expect him to not only pleasure him somehow but also exist to serve him while :stupid: does nothing .
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This was in relation to a "what if" that had Chris getting set up for an arranged marriage because he was the only living heir to a royal dynasty, so this is all a "what if" type of scenario akin to "what if Chris started crapping out golden eggs". I think the eggs are more likely, IMHO.
 
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What if Chris got super-duper hardcore into The Sims or something like that instead of Lego?
It'd certainly be cheaper to build CWCville or whatever else he wanted to make with it.
Come to think of it, Minecraft would do too, but there aren't any minifigs in Minecraft *sigh*
 
Angelica Rosechu said:
What if Chris got super-duper hardcore into The Sims or something like that instead of Lego?
It'd certainly be cheaper to build CWCville or whatever else he wanted to make with it.
Come to think of it, Minecraft would do too, but there aren't any minifigs in Minecraft *sigh*
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Oh man, Chris on minecraft would be awesome. Back in the day, we used to troll the fuck out of unprotected minecraft servers. Like, for example, because of the way they calculate water/laval flowing, if you start a big flood, it'll crash the server. So I wrote a script to find the highest level of water and then let that water out. Usually it was just a few blocks of water they forgot about or something, but yeah, release it and it crashes the server. Here, the server probably froze at this point in the flood.

Heh, or sometimes they'd try to tell the griefers not to come into their server.

I also wrote a script that'll take a certain section of the map, and replace every non-air block with, say, mushrooms. I had another script that'll take an image, and try to make it out of minecraft blocks.

Man, those were the days...
 
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