“What's reality? I don't know. When my bird was looking at my computer monitor I thought, "That bird has no idea what he's looking at." And yet what does the bird do? Does he panic? No, he can't really panic, he just does the best he can. Is he able to live in a world where he's so ignorant? Well, he doesn't really have a choice. The bird is okay even though he doesn't understand the world. You're that bird looking at the monitor, and you're thinking to yourself, I can figure this out. Maybe you have some bird ideas. Maybe that's the best you can do.”
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser .
Want to keep track of this thread?
Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
Create account
Forum guidelines
Be civil. Don't get angry over Chris. If you need to tell people you're better than someone, you're probably not.
Limit discussion of body parts and functions. Chris is gross. Discussing his incontinence in detail is unnecessary and disturbing.
Don't roleplay in your posts. Don't write pretend dialog between people, such as Chris and his mother. Avoid writing monologues, they're also dumb.
Hide your powerlevel. Avoid revealing intimate, personal details about yourself in public boards. These threads are not your personal blog and we are not an asylum.
No trolling plans. We are not an autistic Illuminati. If you embarrass yourself or the forum trying to troll, we will ridicule you.
Write descriptive topic titles. "[14-Sep-2015] Facebook post about Sonichu" is better than "new update".
Chris doesn't read your posts. Stop trying to directly, or indirectly, chastise Chris through your posts. He does not care about what you have to say, and these rants are boring.
Don't post random articles. Unless the subject matter is directly related to Chris and his history, please do not post articles with a loose affiliation.
Talk to Staff
Ultra Back-Seat Mod
kiwifarms.net
Julaaay you're tearing me apart!
Ching Chong Would be the kid that wanted to"Watch"
What if Chris replaced Tommy Wiseau as the director, writer, producer, and the main character of The Room?
Ohai Kengal.
What if Chris replaced Tommy Wiseau as the director, writer, producer, and the main character of The Room?
I did naht mace Him, it's naht true! It's bowlschit, i did naht mace him! I did naht ... Oh Hi Chu
TIME TO SHANK SOME NERDS!!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
What if Chris was a member of Pantera?
Useless Guato
kiwifarms.net
What if CWCville was real and all the lolcows in America moved there?
What if Chris had Electric Hedgehog powers irl for a day?
D E A D
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
What if Chris started his day with a balanced breakfast of Wheaties™ and 2% milk instead of his usual McDonalds®?
IT'S NOT A GODDAMN SANDWICH, IT'S A WAY OF LIFE
kiwifarms.net
What if Chris was a really dedicated troll this whole time?
Ultra Back-Seat Mod
kiwifarms.net
What if Chris had Electric Hedgehog powers irl for a day?
Kiwi genocide
Useless Guato
kiwifarms.net
What if Godbear cured Chris of his autism and gave him enough self awareness to realize Sonichu is awful?
Human/Science
Deceased
kiwifarms.net
What if Godbear cured Chris of his autism and gave him enough self awareness to realize Sonichu is awful?
...but lucrative.
He'd continue to sell Sonichu merch and try to expand upon its "so bad it's awesome" factor.
What if Chris started his day with a balanced breakfast of Wheaties™ and 2% milk instead of his usual McDonalds®?
What if Chris lived in Chicago and made Trap Music?
Dear god. He'd probably live in Bridgeport (which him and barb can afford) which is close to china town so he'd be even more weeaboo but twice as offensive to the locals. Hang out all day at navy pier's McDonalds where he would terrorize the nearby children's museum.
Chris would be frequenting the bijou movie theater before it closed last month. Horrified at what goes on there but attracted to the high probability of getting laid and then settling for a milder gay bar where he would never find his heart sweet.
Also his internet infamy would be notacably more problematic here. And I suspect, being a trap rapper, and a social media junkie, and someone who talks about bass vibrating his tits, Chris gets shot after making a dis track to some teenaged kid from nearby englewood for making a diss track about sonichu. 14 people would be injured in the ensuing shooting with Chris taking two bullets and living(due to hiding).
From here one of two things happen. Gang related shootings go down because people recognize only a retard like Chris would provoke a shooting over Facebook or Chris received street cred and blows up overnight
I have amazing taste
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
What if Christian and the Hedgehog Boys went on a world tour?
What if Christian and the Hedgehog Boys went on a world tour?
He'd go on to the Grammys for Artist of The Year only to be upstaged by another Lolcow Kanye West.
What would Chris do with the Grammy?
Useless Guato
kiwifarms.net
Remove the base and turn it into an amiibo.
Trve and Honest
kiwifarms.net
What if Chris was obsessed with tabletop games (non-collectable) instead of vidya?
Transgoth transteen transwoman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
What if Chris was obsessed with tabletop games (non-collectable) instead of vidya?
Meet Luke.
What if Rosie O'Donnell replaced Barb?
What if Rosie O'Donnell replaced Barb?
Chris would be desperate enough to trib that
What if instead of Aspergers Syndrome. Chris was diagnosed with tourettes?
"Please and Thank you."
kiwifarms.net
What would happen if you had time travel and showed that 'apology for homophobia' video to young Chris circa the 'Message to the future' time