Containment What If?

Detective Chris would be hilarious XD

Seeking One (1) Gumshoe-Free Moll, ages 18-?? Must not go to speakeasies or smoke marihuana, the devil's weed.
"Dem CROOKS are stealing all the pretty dames, leaving none for me to choose from, see?"

And the jerkops would all be rum runners working for Mary Lee Walsh's mob family, evading Prohibition in CWCville.
 
Kosher Dill said:
Detective Chris would be hilarious XD

Seeking One (1) Gumshoe-Free Moll, ages 18-?? Must not go to speakeasies or smoke marihuana, the devil's weed.
"Dem CROOKS are stealing all the pretty dames, leaving none for me to choose from, see?"

And the jerkops would all be rum runners working for Mary Lee Walsh's mob family, evading Prohibition in CWCville.
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....and would this Soft-Boiled Private Defective Yawn be called The Maltese Lovehog?

Rika and ADF would suddenly have a bigger audience.
 
BigAltheGreat921 said:
What if Chris had a more severe form of autism, or a worse mental condition? Would he still be the LOLcow we know and love?
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I don't think he can get worse
 
BigAltheGreat921 said:
What if Chris had a more severe form of autism, or a worse mental condition? Would he still be the LOLcow we know and love?
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That will be SAILORMOONRED1, but with more A-Logs.
 
What if Chris had a wheelchair? "Tales of the crazy wheeler" In Sonichu he would draw himself as half race car.
 
Chris labels himself dictator of the US after a nuclear war that kills everyone but him, and somehow finds a medal of honor while searching for the twinkie factory that family guy PROMISED him would exist, and as the last american left in the world he has the authority to award himself the medal
 
The only way I can see Chris getting a Medal of Honor is if a clerical error sends it to him, not to decorated veteran Christopher Weston Chandler.
 
After reading his half-brother's pleas to help their dear old sickly mother. Cole says yes and hops the next plane to Virgina. What happens next?
 
Would Snorlax NOT want Coleslaw's help?
Would her pride override her innate desire for self-preserv.....nevermind. I forgot. She's a Chandler.
It's a given. Pointless, Prideful, Vainglorious Stubborness is nearly as second nature to Snorlax as misplaced paranoia and selfish entitlement. She would totally snub Coleslaw if he came thousands of miles to become her slave.
 
Why would Cole even want to help?

After she lied about his paternity I'm pretty sure she's dead to him, plus the years of alleged abuse he had to put up with. Cole told Chris to tell him when that fuck Bob dropped, but I don't think Cole is hateful enough to tell Chris the same thing about Barb (even if they were still emailing each other).

If Cole did take leave of his senses and go to her aid, he'd realize in a very short amount of time why he never talks to Chris and Barb anymore.

I'm sure we all have relatives we wish we weren't related to. Cole has two of them in rural Virginia.
 
Thing is, there's nothing particularly out of line with Cole making the attempt. I get the whole line about Barb is a screwed up woman and that she's done a lot to drive him away, but its not utterly impossible that Barb realizes that she really needs Cole's help, and for her to realize that unless she does something, Chris could well be dead in two years.

Still, Barb isn't going to let Cole have his way to get things done, she's not going to dehorde the house, and I'm unsure that Cole will be able to push her much even in her failing state. If she's desperate enough to ask and accept Cole's help, she's more likely to agree with Cole's wishes, but I think Cole wants a truth that Barb doesn't want to confide in him: who his father is. Its an admission that would essentially lead to Barb revealing an open secret for real: she was a tramp in her earlier years; her mother probably was one as well.

Ultimately, I think Cole will walk out in a week after Barb and Chris refuse any kind of common sense answers to their problems. For Cole at least, its closure as he will never see Barb again. For Chris, he fails to understand what happened. But for Barb, its a final failure in a like filled with fail.
 
Sure. Coleslaw would absolutely be willing to leave his comfortable New York Hipster life behind and move into a garbage dump in rural Virginia to live with a tyrannical female Hutt and her insane offspring.

(Last poll option)
 
LordCustos3 said:
Would Snorlax NOT want Coleslaw's help?
Would her pride override her innate desire for self-preserv.....nevermind. I forgot. She's a Chandler.
It's a given. Pointless, Prideful, Vainglorious Stubborness is nearly as second nature to Snorlax as misplaced paranoia and selfish entitlement. She would totally snub Coleslaw if he came thousands of miles to become her slave.
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Barb definitely wants Cole to come back to her. It's everyone else's fault that Cole hates her, Barb was such a good mother, you know. (Barb believes this)
 
While what you guys suggested makes sense for what tattoo Chris would get, I'm thinking more about the aftercare, or lack thereof. I can't see Chris taking the precautions needed to take care of a fresh tattoo -- if anything, I see it getting infected right away and turning into a mess. Obviously it's the DAMN, DIRTY TATTOO TROLLS trolling him again!

And no, I really don't think Chris would take the time to actually look for reputable tattoo places; he'd go for the first (or cheapest) one he could find, because a tattoo would take away his precious vidya monies!
 
Cole: "We have to clean this place."
Barb: "You touch a single 10-year old magazine and i'll slit my wrists"
Cole: "Well i'm not going to make my wife live in a shit hole"
Barb: "I mean it. One box of 80's clothing from goodwill goes missing and i'm swallowing every pill in the medicine cabinet."
Cole: "Later bitch."
 
Didn't Chris get a tattoo on his breasts?

That's what AliBaboo/SecretSquirrel said. :stupid:

There's a lot of coleslaw in this thread. How come you guys are hoarding the picnic like it's 14 Branchland in here?
 
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