Containment What If?

Alan Pardew said:
Chris may be forced to get a job by his mum.

Or they are forced to sell some more belongings.

Honestly, I don't know of anyone willing to buy junked Goodwill furniture, broken cars, or whatever else may be trapped in that godawful property at 14 Branchland Court. So that might not even apply at all.

As far as what he could do after losing his :tugboat: I think a McDonald's job would suit Chris perfectly. Hell, he might even be able to take some of the leftover food home with him at times. :heart-full:

Of course, he would probably flail around and tard-rage like a lunatic for days after finding out it's being cut off. :stupid: And then (:_(

pickles said:
JarlaxleBaenre said:
He'd bribe Compy for our IPs, then track us down. AUGH YEAH
Then in that case, you should thank jcrowley for flooding the IP list with hundreds of fake proxies. Chris would be going all the way to China to try to track us down.

He keeps saying he wants China, better give it to him. :alog:

Speaking of RVs, I wonder if Chris has seen Breaking Bad? Anyway, he probably wouldn't be able to get a :tugboat: if he were living in a vehicle and even if he did, he wouldn't be able to afford gas, maintenance, or repairs, let alone fast food and vidya.

What if Chris was put upon the throne as the emperor of the world or something similar, and wielded the same absolute power he supposedly has in CWCVille? I'm curious about what life may be like for the rest of humanity under his rule, assuming he lives long enough. Considering his massive ego and urge to have absolute control over everything, I can easily see Chris wanting such a thing to happen for him.
 
You ever watch a 6 year old play with a grasshopper until it dies?
 
Black Sonichu said:
Alan Pardew said:
If he made a video about it, he would end up be the Internet's best lolcow as he would get trolled often. :julay:

Does Ass Log even make unwatchable videos anymore? I haven't bothered to check in a long time.

He currently makes videos about his voice acting.
 
Alan Pardew said:
Black Sonichu said:
Alan Pardew said:
If he made a video about it, he would end up be the Internet's best lolcow as he would get trolled often. :julay:

Does Ass Log even make unwatchable videos anymore? I haven't bothered to check in a long time.

He currently makes videos about his voice acting.

So he makes unlistenable videos instead. Touché.

Marvin said:
Black Sonichu said:
How much exactly does he owe Snyder altogether? I'm just wondering if he's even made a dent in that shit. *yawn*
Beats me.

I think it numbers in the thousands at least, medical bills are expensive, and we're not even looking at court costs yet. He's probably throwing the bare minimum he believes he can get away with so that he can use the rest for McDonald's and PS3 games. Even if it's like $50 a month he probably only cares about the fact that he has less for vidya and McNuggets and doesn't care to learn from facing real life consequences for his actions.
 
He would order for the trolls to have the death penalty.
 
somejerk said:
You ever watch a 6 year old play with a grasshopper until it dies?

Kind of an A-Loggy thing to say, and no, I don't enjoy mentally defective children torture insects. I do get the basic idea of what you're trying to get at, though.
 
Black Sonichu said:
somejerk said:
You ever watch a 6 year old play with a grasshopper until it dies?

Kind of an A-Loggy thing to say, and no, I don't enjoy mentally defective children torture insects. I do get the basic idea of what you're trying to get at, though.
*SIGH*
 
1984thumb.jpg
 
It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. Winston Smith, his chin nuzzled into his breast in an effort to escape the vile wind, slipped quickly through the glass doors of CWCMansions, though not quickly enough to prevent a swirl of gritty dust from entering along with him.

The hallway smelt of Freedom Fries, McNuggets and Dirty Crapped Briefs. At one end of it a coloured poster, too large for indoor display, had been tacked to the wall. It depicted simply an enormous face, more than a metre wide: the face of a man who eerily resembled an overweight toddler and a doter at the same time. Winston made for the stairs. It was no use trying the lift. Even at the best of times it was seldom working, and at present the electric current was cut off during daylight hours. It was part of the economy drive in preparation for Anti-Troll-Rage-Week. The flat was seven flights up, and Winston, who was thirty-nine and had a varicose ulcer above his right ankle, went slowly, resting several times on the way. On each landing, opposite the lift-shaft, the poster with the enormous face gazed from the wall. It was one of those pictures which are so contrived that the eyes follow you about when you move. GREAT DIRECTOR CHANDLER IS WATCHING YOU, the caption beneath it ran.

Inside the flat on the telescreen some old Pokemon episode was re-aired. The telescreen could be dimmed, but there was no way of shutting it off completely. He moved over to the window: a smallish, frail figure, the meagreness of his body merely emphasized by the red and blue striped overalls which were the uniform of the party. His hair was very fair, his face naturally sanguine, his skin roughened by coarse soap and blunt razor blades and the cold of the winter that had just ended.

Outside, even through the shut window-pane, the world looked cold. Down in the street little eddies of wind were whirling dust and torn anime lovedolls into spirals, and though the sun was shining and the sky a harsh blue, there seemed to be no colour in anything, except the posters that were plastered everywhere. The fat pimply face gazed down from every commanding corner. There was one on the house-front immediately opposite. GREAT DIRECTOR CHANDLER IS WATCHING YOU, the caption said, while the eyes, on blue and one slightly more green, looked deep into Winston's own. Down at streetlevel another poster, torn at one corner, flapped fitfully in the wind, alternately covering and uncovering the single word SONICHU. In the far distance a winged electric hedgehog pokemon skimmed down between the roofs, hovered for an instant like a bluebottle, and darted away again with a curving flight. It was the police patrol, snooping into people's windows. The patrols did not matter, however. Only the Anti-Homosexuality Thought Police mattered.

Behind Winston's back on the telescreen Team Rocket once again got their asses kicked. The telescreen received and transmitted simultaneously. Any sound that Winston made, above the level of a very low whisper, would be picked up by it, moreover, so long as he remained within the field of vision which the metal plaque commanded, he could be seen as well as heard. There was of course no way of knowing whether you were being watched at any given moment. How often, or on what system, the Thought Police plugged in on any individual wire was guesswork. It was even conceivable that they watched everybody all the time. But at any rate they could plug in your wire whenever they wanted to. You had to live -- did live, from habit that became instinct -- in the assumption that every sound you made was overheard, and, except in darkness, every movement scrutinized.

Winston kept his back turned to the telescreen. It was safer, though, as he well knew, even a back can be revealing. A kilometre away the Ministry of My Little Ponies, his place of work, towered vast and pink above the grimy landscape. This, he thought with a sort of vague distaste -- this was CWCville, chief city of Korea, itself the third most populous of the provinces of Yurrop. He tried to squeeze out some childhood memory that should tell him whether CWCville had always been quite like this. Were there always these vistas of rotting nineteenth-century houses, their sides shored up with baulks of timber, their windows patched with cardboard and their roofs with corrugated iron, their crazy garden walls sagging in all directions? And the bombed sites where the plaster dust swirled in the air and the willow-herb straggled over the heaps of rubble; and the places where the bombs had cleared a larger patch and there had sprung up sordid colonies of wooden dwellings like chicken-houses? But it was no use, he could not remember: nothing remained of his childhood except a series of bright-lit tableaux occurring against no background and mostly unintelligible.

The Ministry of My Little Ponies -- Minipony, in Newspeak -- was startlingly different from any other object in sight. It was an enormous pyramidal structure of glittering pink plastic, soaring up, terrace after terrace, 300 metres into the air. From where Winston stood it was just possible to read, picked out on its pink face in elegant lettering, the three slogans of the Party:

TROLLS MUST BE EXTERMINATED

AUTISM IS STRENGTH

THE GREAT DIRECTOR CHANDLER IS STRAIGHT
 
This is an interesting topic for absolute sure, since I've been interested in a "Villain Chris" idea for a long time.

There have been many delusional world leaders; Jean Badel Bokassa, Idi Amin, Pol Pot, obviously the non-forum Hitler and many of his cabinet ministers, etc. Into this esteemed list of inhumanity enters Christian Weston Chandler.

For Starters, look at Sonichu #10. He is doing the following things:
-Executing people after a mock trial, for mere insults.
-Employing small children to kill people.
-Torture

Other policies he supports are:
-constant, 24 surveillance
-forcible conversion of LGBT
-a general lack of value towards human life (ask Matthew Devoria)
-Strong government involvement in how businesses are run.

If Chris ran the world, it wouldn't actually be Chris running it per say, but administrators that rule at his stead and with policies and interests that coincide with him. Stalin had his Beria; Hitler had Himmler and Chris presumably has a dark prince style character doing the exact same, perhaps with a few million beneath them forming the paramilitary police that ensures that Chris' will be done.

The problem with Chris ruling a bunch of evil administrators is that said administrators are undoubtedly smarter, more devious and more capable than Our Pet Lolcow. But supposing they don't turn on him?

The world is placed under a very eccentric and dangerous dictatorship; LGBT are probably the key losers, although business owners and the Microsoft corporation in particular face grim consequences. A promotion of Sonichu to the level of youth education mascot and the reworked history that Nintendo and Sega made the "Fanta Revolution" possible in some way takes hold.

As a believer in massive social spending and utterly incapable of understanding the importance of actual work, The Sonique administrators quickly encounter a general lack of productivity and inefficiencies that will doom their regime in just a few years time. As world leaders do many a time when this outcome seems inevitable, they take the shinies and leave Christian Chandler to be executed by revolutionaries.
 
I'd politely inform him that I only cut human hair in my shop and send him on his way.
 
ED would probably give him the Golden IPod Award because they're a little twisted like that :ween:
 
Chris would have to convert to Mormonism first, so he can live eternally with goddess wives!
 
He'd make a FB update from beyond the grave, bitching about how the trolls drove him to suicide by stroke.
 
Just like it says, what if Christian woke up with both a duck AND a china?
 
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