Containment What If?

[Pikonic]

Dude, that's deep
I'd be happy someone that pathetically lonely and delusional doesn't really exist, like Kraumpus or the Boogeyman.

 

[Big Bob Pataki]

he'd probably yell at them for talking bad about the Kind Caring Women™

then one of them would call him a homo and he'd tardrage and post "I AM STRAIGHT" all over the forums and get permabanned

from http://web.archive.org/web/20110416210931/http://cwccyoa.110mb.com/pg200.htm

"What kind of medallion is that?" you ask the man.

"This?" the man says, "This is a 'Hatchet Man,' logo. It's the Psychopathic Records logo. Because Insane Clown Posse is on Psychopathic records."

"That's kind of interesting," you say. Anything that lets you wear cool medallions like that is probably right up your alley.

The fat man with the clown tattoos tells you all about the Insane Clown Posse and the other bands affiliated with the duo, until his manajerk comes and tells him to get back to work. Still, the information you learn is fascinating.

You spend the entire weekend on the computer learning about the Insane Clown Posse and Twiztid and Dark Lotus and order an impressive amount of official merchandise off the Psychopathic Records webstore. This has to be the greatest thing mankind has ever created and has given your life new meaning and direction.

A week later your ICP stuff comes by UPS, but there's not a lot of space in your room to put it, so you spend the entire day, from eight in the morning until the early morning the next day piling the stuff from your room into the kitchen and some of the other junk-filled bedrooms in your garbage house. Maybe you can put some of it on eBay and get some money later. You could probably buy like, a dozen of those official Insane Clown Posse $20 ashtrays with the proceeds, plus some more shirts and stuff.

Later in the year, you make the pilgrimage to the annual Gathering of the Juggalos and meet all the great people there. The weed makes you cough, but there's a lot of Faygo and alcohol to drink, and you almost lose your virginity to a morbidly obese 15-year-old from Goshen, California after ingesting a mixture of MD 20/20, dog tranquilizers and crystal meth. Your bent penis and lack of motor skills makes actual penetration impossible, though, and the drugs make your body completely numb.

Your frenzied, rabid devotion to ICP knows no limits, and one day on you find a guy on MySpace who lives in Charlottesville and does tattoos out of his garage and agrees to tattoo clown makeup on your face for $150. What a steal!

After calling Psychopathic Records 30 times a day, they reluctantly agree to sign you to the label as Christian and the Hedgehog Boys. Once the welfare department catches wind of your royalty checks they cut off your disability money, but ironically you make exactly as much money rapping about drinking your own semen and how you need a boyfriend-free girl.

Your oddball personality and frothing homophobia make you extremely popular among the juggalos. Then you take too much LSD and are tazed to death after trying to pull the head off a police officer while screaming quotes from Monty Python.

You die at age 31, still a virgin.

couldn't have put it better myself. and speaking of which, who was the guy who wrote that and can he write more of these?

 

[Pikonic]

Pokémon never hits the US, Chris never discovers it. He has no idea what a "Pikachu" is, lets also assume he isn't weeb enough to find out.
So, no Pikachu = no Sonichu.
Where does Chris take his artistic abilities. Does Bionic become the big OC, does Sonic get crossed with The American Rabbit, does Chris just write Sonic Fan fiction.
Would we be here without Sonichu?
Discuss

 

[CatParty]

the american hedgehog

 

[MrTroll]

from http://web.archive.org/web/20110416210931/http://cwccyoa.110mb.com/pg200.htm

"What kind of medallion is that?" you ask the man.

"This?" the man says, "This is a 'Hatchet Man,' logo. It's the Psychopathic Records logo. Because Insane Clown Posse is on Psychopathic records."

"That's kind of interesting," you say. Anything that lets you wear cool medallions like that is probably right up your alley.

The fat man with the clown tattoos tells you all about the Insane Clown Posse and the other bands affiliated with the duo, until his manajerk comes and tells him to get back to work. Still, the information you learn is fascinating.

You spend the entire weekend on the computer learning about the Insane Clown Posse and Twiztid and Dark Lotus and order an impressive amount of official merchandise off the Psychopathic Records webstore. This has to be the greatest thing mankind has ever created and has given your life new meaning and direction.

A week later your ICP stuff comes by UPS, but there's not a lot of space in your room to put it, so you spend the entire day, from eight in the morning until the early morning the next day piling the stuff from your room into the kitchen and some of the other junk-filled bedrooms in your garbage house. Maybe you can put some of it on eBay and get some money later. You could probably buy like, a dozen of those official Insane Clown Posse $20 ashtrays with the proceeds, plus some more shirts and stuff.

Later in the year, you make the pilgrimage to the annual Gathering of the Juggalos and meet all the great people there. The weed makes you cough, but there's a lot of Faygo and alcohol to drink, and you almost lose your virginity to a morbidly obese 15-year-old from Goshen, California after ingesting a mixture of MD 20/20, dog tranquilizers and crystal meth. Your bent penis and lack of motor skills makes actual penetration impossible, though, and the drugs make your body completely numb.

Your frenzied, rabid devotion to ICP knows no limits, and one day on you find a guy on MySpace who lives in Charlottesville and does tattoos out of his garage and agrees to tattoo clown makeup on your face for $150. What a steal!

After calling Psychopathic Records 30 times a day, they reluctantly agree to sign you to the label as Christian and the Hedgehog Boys. Once the welfare department catches wind of your royalty checks they cut off your disability money, but ironically you make exactly as much money rapping about drinking your own semen and how you need a boyfriend-free girl.

Your oddball personality and frothing homophobia make you extremely popular among the juggalos. Then you take too much LSD and are tazed to death after trying to pull the head off a police officer while screaming quotes from Monty Python.

You die at age 31, still a virgin.

couldn't have put it better myself. and speaking of which, who was the guy who wrote that and can he write more of these?

I don't know where you found this, but it's amazing. It's apparently a choose your adventure starring Chris. Here's the starting page: http://web.archive.org/web/20110416210537/http://cwccyoa.110mb.com/liw.htm

 

[derpi]

Sonimon, the electric hedgehog digimon.

 

[TheIncredibleLioness]

So what, Chris would be a tulpa?

But yeah, it'd be time for a CAT scan and some nice meds.

Re: What if Chris was the main character in an "Amnesia" gam

Was that an old text-based game? I remember playing that when I was younger (probably too young to really be playing that sort of thing, but I digress). Unless there's another game out there by the same name!

Since the comedy option ( ) has already been taken, I imagine Chris might actually do okay for a little bit, if he has enough common sense to stay hidden and stay quiet--oh who am I kidding, he'd be dead in ten minutes. Fifteen tops.

Unless whatever's chasing him is repelled by the stench, which is a definite possibility.

 

[Judge Holden]

Re: What if Chris was the main character in an "Amnesia" gam

Was that an old text-based game? I remember playing that when I was younger (probably too young to really be playing that sort of thing, but I digress). Unless there's another game out there by the same name!

Actually its this game

[youtube]wk07BWkhzsM[/youtube]

Since the comedy option ( ) has already been taken, I imagine Chris might actually do okay for a little bit, if he has enough common sense to stay hidden and stay quiet--oh who am I kidding, he'd be dead in ten minutes. Fifteen tops.

I dunno, I think if chris spent an entire night hiding under stuffed animals to save himself from Clyde cash, he may well be able to hide from whatevers hunting him

 

[pickles]

Then where was the Social Security Administration sending all those tugboats to?

Although, frankly, Chris would still be more real then most things the government spends money on.

 

[MrTroll]

I'd start taking meth, LSD, heroin, ecstasy, PCP, and every other hard drug I could get ahold of, because if I could survive whatever bad shit caused me to hallucinate Chris, I could survive goddamn anything.

 

[hurpdurpmanguy]

Then who the hell were we talking about in this forum?

 

[The Dude]

Then who the hell were we talking about in this forum?

That's the thing...it's all in our minds. A mass hallucination. Call it bad drugs, fever dreams, MKULTRA, HAARP, punishment from God, transmissions from space...Chris is not real. Sonichu is not real. 14BC is just some abandoned house that people dump their shit or go in to shoot up horse or smoke ice. We all are on a forum talking about someone who is not there.

 

[pickles]

Spoiler

I couldn't resist.

But seriously, RD with Chris would make My Little Dashie seem like paradise.

 

[Picklepower]

I wondered if Chris is a regular user of TV Tropes. I can imagine him using the tropes almost every time in the comics and his videos.

Constant use of tropes in his comic, so he'd be Mookie? ba dum tish

Digihogs. Also ignore Pokémon the C####y knock off.

 

[José Mourinho]

^ Thanks for the link. Playing it now.

Probably just a Yellow Sonic.

 

[Pikonic]

Then who the hell were we talking about in this forum?

That's the thing...it's all in our minds. A mass hallucination. Call it bad drugs, fever dreams, MKULTRA, HAARP, punishment from God, transmissions from space...Chris is not real. Sonichu is not real. 14BC is just some abandoned house that people dump their shit or go in to shoot up horse or smoke ice. We all are on a forum talking about someone who is not there.

Dude......Are WE even here?
What if we're the nonexistent hallucination in Chrissy's subconscious.

 

[TheIncredibleLioness]

Re: What if Chris was the main character in an "Amnesia" gam

Was that an old text-based game? I remember playing that when I was younger (probably too young to really be playing that sort of thing, but I digress). Unless there's another game out there by the same name!

Actually its this game

Oh, there must be two different games out there, since I know there was an old Commodore 64 game by that name too. That game looks awesome creepy though, I might have to check it out!

I dunno, I think if chris spent an entire night hiding under stuffed animals to save himself from Clyde cash, he may well be able to hide from whatevers hunting him

Hmm, that is a good point. Maybe he trick whatever's after him by disguising his with a stuffed teddy bear and some sunglasses, and then hide somewhere else. Now, whether or not Chris would be able to find a good hiding spot in a mall (versus in his own house) is something else entirely -- I assume that the stores would be locked with security gates, and I doubt Chris would be able to get past those. Still, even malls have stuff like benches, so I suppose he could hide there.

God only knows what that fleshlight would be used for.

 

[exball]

Then who the hell were we talking about in this forum?

That's the thing...it's all in our minds. A mass hallucination. Call it bad drugs, fever dreams, MKULTRA, HAARP, punishment from God, transmissions from space...Chris is not real. Sonichu is not real. 14BC is just some abandoned house that people dump their shit or go in to shoot up horse or smoke ice. We all are on a forum talking about someone who is not there.

Dude......Are WE even here?
What if we're the nonexistent hallucination in Chrissy's subconscious.

*cough* *cough* That's deep man, pass me a slice of Pepsi.

 

[José Mourinho]

If this is a mass hallucination, does that mean the other lolcows linked with Chris (e.g. A-Log) are also a mass hallucination?

 

[Pikonic]

If this is a mass hallucination, does that mean the other lolcows linked with Chris (e.g. A-Log) are also a mass hallucination?

Woah man, I need to get some of Pardew's shit, he's blowing my mind.

In all seriousness Our Pet A-loggers would be real, though they'd latch on to someone else, probably ADF. Chris would be so real to us that we'd subconsciously link them to him, because we know OPL isn't really there, but if he was would be there.