Containment What If?

Mosh Pit Survival: The only way he would ever go into a mosh-pit is, if he sees a boyfriend-free girl at the other end. He would go down after the first tackle and try to get out of the pit, while people confused it with him moshing as well

Noise Tolerance: He propably would resort to ear-plugs, once he finds out he isn't such a manly man(Remember: Real men have a Tinitus).

Exposure to alcohol/elicit substances: he would buy a Bud and will be pissed off due to the staff denying him a re-fill. I'm pretty sure the only way he would take drugs would be, if somebody would slip something into his Bud or if a chick manipulates him to(Eg. Showing her titts)

Respecting the concertgoers: I think he would be more or less a loner, propably playing 2DS, while the band plays. Maybe he will try to hit on the chick with the gorgous blonde hair, only to find out, after she turns arround, that "she" is actually a 2 meters tall viking named Olaf the Impaler.

I work as a tech-support for a larg printer company(the brand with the X which machines never seem to work, haha) so he should have to call the hot-line for it.
I really dunno how this could be funny, except his excuses for not repairing the damn thing.

"Hmm, yeah, my printeeeeer isn- is not propperly functi-working anymore and I, hmmm, need to print out my new issue of the adventures of Sonichu, which... I... have hand-drawn and coloured myself."

"Sir, I need your name and your serial number."

"Ya'll should know me by now..."

Etc, etc.
 
He'd become even more malicious. He'd probably hire a private detective to hunt down Megan, file nuisance lawsuits against The Game Place and every other store that has ever wronged him, etc.
 
Heavy metal is one thing, but what about grindcore? I really want to know what would have happened if Chris's body had been teleported into 1988 during this concert of Anal Cunt. (If you're not familiar with the band, look them up. Also look up their album Picnic of Love, which has an uncanny resemblance to Chris's pop covers.)

[youtube]JkOSx2suySk[/youtube]
 
He'd turn into a full-blown psycho, and suddenly Michael Snyder mysteriously disappears...

I'd rather wait for a cure for autism.
 
the_rhino said:
I work as a tech-support for a larg printer company(the brand with the X which machines never seem to work, haha) so he should have to call the hot-line for it.
I really dunno how this could be funny, except his excuses for not repairing the damn thing.

"Hmm, yeah, my printeeeeer isn- is not propperly functi-working anymore and I, hmmm, need to print out my new issue of the adventures of Sonichu, which... I... have hand-drawn and coloured myself."

"Sir, I need your name and your serial number."

"Ya'll should know me by now..."

Etc, etc.
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How do you not know all of Chris' personal information by now?
 
somejerk said:
Even if he were, against all odds, to reveal the whole thing as an act now, it would just be really pathetic and lame.
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Disagree. This is a guy who has a decently populated forum and wiki about him. Although he isn't would famous, the interest in him has been sustained for years.

If it were an act, I would say it is a pretty impressive one.
 
AFAIK, Chris isn't stupid. At least, he isn't clinically stupid. What makes him look dumb is his terrifying lack of common sense. The only reasons why it took him six years to get an Associate's Degree were behavioral problems and probably taking one-two class(es) per semester.
 
If Chris got intelligent I hope it would include emotional and social intelligence as well, meaning he would finally realize he needs serious help.

If he was still afflicted with atsimu, he'd finally go to a place that helps handicapped people get jobs and get a rudimentary job, although with a boost in intelligence he'd realize he was trying to get better jobs. With some help he'd be able to go back to school for a better degree and get a more suitable job once he has some work experience and work references.

He'd figure out how to get psychological help and get therapy to overcome his many flaws.

He'd realize Barb's threats and emotional manipulation were baseless and set boundaries with her, eventually getting his own apartment and visiting Barb on the evenings and weekends. He'd get a social outlet that was appropriate for his age and make new friends. Heck, he might even get a girlfriend and get china.

He'd start going to the gym and really start to have a shrinking mound.

If he had better intrapersonal and interpersonal intelligence, Chris could very well be a different person. He'd have to overcome his crappy work ethic and the effect of atsimu, but once he'd overcome those hurdles, there'd be no reason why he couldn't be a completely different person.
 
ChristmasDuck said:
What if Megan died, and Chris knew about it? What would happen if he no longer had her as a scapegoat?
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Honestly, i think he has demonstrated enough douchebaggery to make me suspect he will plan to either disrupt her funeral or just defile her grave in some way. I say plan because even leaving the house is doubtful at the present time.
 
He'd take it as proof that his LEGO VOODOO powers actually work.
 
He'd act the same why when Clyde Cash's little brother killed himself: he'd be in awe of his true power.

That's the last thing his ego needs right now.
 
somejerk said:
He'd take it as proof that his LEGO VOODOO powers actually work.
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This, he would stupidly assume that his goofy "magic" worked, man his superstition REALLY annoys me. Yeah I believed in Ufo abuctions, Weegee boards, and ghost stuff when I was 8, but Chris is 30!!!! Show this dude some James Randi.

But back on topic, he would be happy because Megan is TEH ENEMY ]:(P Queen!
 
Chris would probably take some credit, and then say "I feel bad…" but then say something to make his sympathy seem meaningless. Another question I have is what if Megan faked her death to get Chris to move on?
 
On the outside he'd be happy. On the inside he'd lament the loss of his true love.
 
He'd gloat on Facebook for a short while, go back to playing the vidya, and eventually go back to slandering Michael Snyder, Mary Lee Walsh, or whoever Chris is pissed off at at the moment.
 
The stress of being a magical tomgirl will create so much energy that it will solve the Entropy crisis for a long long time.

Good end?
 
Judge Holden said:
ChristmasDuck said:
What if Megan died, and Chris knew about it? What would happen if he no longer had her as a scapegoat?
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Honestly, i think he has demonstrated enough douchebaggery to make me suspect he will plan to either disrupt her funeral or just defile her grave in some way. I say plan because even leaving the house is doubtful at the present time.
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Ok that got me thinking. If Megan actually does die anytime soon, we should each take turns guarding her grave from Chris and any of the :julay: screaming fuckheads. We could get team jackets, pick out weapons, it'd be a fun way to respect our fallen queen! :heart-full:
 
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