Containment What If?

oh and Chris and Barb's bones would be so broken on their first day at WWE, TNA, RoH, anything
 
Somari1996 said:
what if Chris got a fake letter from Michael Snyder saying he forgives Chris for all the horrible things he's done, and invites him to his house for dinner with his real address?
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Totally a :julay: thing to do.
 
I thought that I had a really good question for the experts, @Marvin and @Alec Benson Leary . "What would it take for Christian to break up with a girl?"

I realize that's kind of a hard question to answer. I think, like anybody, he'd add up the various pros and cons (probably assessing a x10 Girlfriend Vagina Multiplier Bonus) and make a decision from there. I realize the short answer, is- It would take quite a fucking lot for Chris to break it off with a girl.

So, I was trying to contextualize the question, for the experts, but now it's practically verging on fan fiction. Oh well, it is what it is...

So let's go back to 2009- specifically, the beginning of the Kacey Saga. For what it's worth, I've always felt Christorians give Kacey a bad rap. Her content provides some of the most illuminating glimpses into Chris's inner mind, and she also captained one of my favorite stretches of Christory, Kacey calls 1+1.5.

What I find so funny about these first two calls is; we can measure, emotionally, how important the Sonichu franchise is to Chris. In Call One he's absolutely incapable of maintaining his secret identity, because as much as he loves the China/Kacey, he'll always love Sonichu more, and CWC the most. And we get to hear that play out.

By call 1.5, Kacey is professing her love for Sonichu, and her utter contempt for CWC. Listening to Chris's mind and boner implode into stress-sighs and excuses always cracks me up. Emotionally, Chris is torn between two impossible positions and it's really funny, to me at least.

So here's the situation- it's 2009, and I'm the one in charge. Everybody agrees that I have the best planned storylines and season-one finale/character arcs. Mr. Moo is running The (New) Kacey Calls.

So we're going to be flipping some of Kacey's core motivations around. This time Kacey is absolutely smitten with Christian's physical appearance, and sees straight through that Brown-Shirted Impostor's poorly done videos. She is the biggest champion for the True, Honest and Original CWC, going so far as to stand up for him in videos she uploads to YT (this is what if, right?).

On the other hand, over the course of The New Kacey Calls, it slowly becomes apparent to Chris that Kacey has absolutely no respect at all for Sonichu. She changes the topic quickly, any time he brings up Sonichu or any related characters. If pressed, Kacey will become angry and manipulative, putting Chris on defense, if that's what it takes to stay off the subject of Sonichu.

Like, “What is this? It's always about you, isn't it Chris? We've been talking for ten seconds now, and you haven't even asked me if I'm feeling okay today! I'm mad, Chris! You need to start thinking hard, about what you're going to do for me, to make up for this insult.” You get the picture.

Three, four calls in and Kacey's disdain is getting worse. At some point Kacey's going to have phone sex with Christian, at which point she needs him to bad-mouth Sonichu, to keep going. So stuff like, “I've got your shirt off now, and I'm kissing you lower and lower. Now tell me, tell me how fucking gay Sonichu is” Stress-sigh. “I'm kissing around your belly-button now baby, and I'm unbuttoning your pants. But I need to hear it, I need to hear you say, 'Sonichu's a fucking faggot drawn for sissies,'” or whatever.

The Father Call – remains somewhat similar, except we'd have to take out the bits comparing Solid to Liquid. Instead, we'd have “that nice young man that just moved in next door. Now that's a nice kid, why don't you let me set you up with him?” To end the Father call, the door bell rings, and the nice young man next door is Liquid, of course. Call ends.

From there, the Kacey and Liquid endgame, I suppose, would be an escalating campaign for Kacey's Heart – the battleground would be the Sonichu Franchise itself, and no character would be spared from the collateral damage.

Because Kacey's been begging CWC for some really, really degrading Sonichu porn. Because, frankly, the dirty talk isn't doing it anymore. She needs a written-out story, with gay sex and multiple Niggos. And Kacey's unhappy, because he's (almost certainly) been trying to half-ass it, the same way he tried to find technical loopholes when he was drawing the orgy for Julie.

So, by the time we roll around to The Kacey and Liquid Call, Chris and Kacey are on shaky ground.

And boy, is Liquid a natural at putting down Sonichu. At some point in the call, I figure Liquid says, “Sonichu is totally fucking gay,” which practically makes Kacey squirt right then and there. Chris (possibly? Probably not) senses that he's losing Kacey, and the only way to keep her is... Distasteful...

From there, Liquid begins drawing out really freaky Sonichu porn, and Chris must take Sonichu to unfathomed levels of perversity and degradation... OR he decides, that he needs to dump her.

In a nutshell- What if Kacey was immensely sexually excited by scenarios designed, specifically, to degrade , devalue and humiliate The Sonichu Universe?

How far do you guys think that storyline would get?
 
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Mister Moo said:
I thought that I had a really good question for the experts, @Marvin and @Alec Benson Leary . "What would it take for Christian to break up with a girl?"
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This is the best What if question, imo. I have been wracking my brain trying to figure it out. The obvious answer at first seemed "What about if it turns out she's a smoker?"

Well, seems plausible, but then if said smoker was giving him China on the regular and not trying o cramp his "lifestyle" i get the feeling he would do his very best to become tolerant of it. He might simply resort to saying she can't smoke around him and she has to shower twice a day (wouldn't that be ironic?)

I also considered if his girlfriend was abusive, not physically, but mentally. Constantly putting him down, outright insulting him, and his magnum opus that is Sonichu. But history has shown us that he will just give a stress sigh and move past it, OR make some excuse, or lie to placate her, so he doesn't have to deal with it.

My conclusion was starting to become that Chris would never break up with a girl. He would sink his claws in and NEVER let go.

Until something dawned on me. At first I was thinking "what if she cheated on him?" Nah, he would be extremely hurt, but he would most likely forgive her, and be that much more possessive of her (which would probably later destroy the relationship anyway, but not by his hand)

But that line of thinking got me the answer I think I needed. For Chris to break up with a girl, she would have to have cheated on him, and contracted HIV/AIDS from it. (or probably not even cheated. Just have somehow contracted the disease) ESPECIALLY if he hasn't contracted it from her. That's the only thing that I can realistically see him breaking away from a woman is. Self-preservation. Because the only thing Chris loves more than China is himself.

although if I'm being honest, I totally wouldn't blame Chris for dropping a chick for that reason. I don't care if you're Kate Upton, I'm not getting an incurable STD just to be with you
 
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Mister Moo said:
In a nutshell- What if Kacey was immensely sexually excited by scenarios designed, specifically, to degrade , devalue and humiliate The Sonichu Universe?

How far do you guys think that storyline would get?
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@Mister Moo asked me this question the other day. Here's the answer (with some edits) I gave him:

I think it'd get far. Back in the day, I think deciding between pussy and Sonichu would be an incredibly hard choice for Chris.

What's interesting is that Chris wouldn't even accept for a long time that he even has to make that choice. Compromise is a horrible injustice to Chris, probably on par with slavery or the holocaust.

It's like the tomgirl versus pussy tradeoff. People think that Chris would just ditch tomgirl if a girl asked him to, but he really wouldn't. He would resist doing it in name, and he absolutely wouldn't do it in spirit.

If you're really aggressive and you're seeing Chris IRL, so Chris can actually ogle your tits in person, you might maybe be able to get Chris to nominally go back to calling himself a man. But the whole time, Chris would be trying to shoehorn his tomgirl shit into every corner of the relationship. So on paper he might say he's a guy, but he'd also ham up his female soul every chance he gets.

On top of that, if you're not vigilant, Chris would just slide back into tomgirlism. If you're not constantly yelling at him, after a week or two, he'd be back to wearing dresses again and stop any semblance of being a man.

Chris believes his opinions are the only opinions that matter. He thinks dissenters are either stupid, mistaken, or just haven't realized that Chris is right. He thinks that because he loves boobies, everyone loves boobies. The concept of genuine dissent is almost confusing to Chris. Gay men confound him, because they seem pretty earnest about their dissent, and that's so fucking bizarre to Chris.

How can you possibly like men? They're horrible demonspawn who will beat you up and they have ugly bodies and are gross? How?? (Chris earnestly thinks this. Furthermore, he thinks women are beautiful smart creatures, and he thinks he can persuade them to realize the truth about men.)

Chris has this hilarious (and frequently annoying) combination of arrogance and stupidity. He's arrogant to the point where he believes his opinions are the only true ones. And because he's so stupid, he does a really bad job of recognizing when he has no leverage in a situation.

Chris is really passionate about his tomgirl shit. And he thinks that he can persuade women to come over to the tomgirl side. If a girl says "oh, but I like men", Chris sarcastically thinks "oh sure you do...". Chris won't give up tomgirl for anything because he feels he deserves both tomgirlism and a girlfriend. Compromise is essentially inconceivable in Chris' worldview.

To bring this back to the original question of getting Chris to badmouth Sonichu:

If you tried to get Chris to badmouth Sonichu, you could probably pull it off. Except Chris would do childish shit like cross his fingers. And he'd constantly try to compliment Sonichu in really obvious ways. And he'd think he was being subtle as he was doing it. Chris thinks he's clever as shit.
 
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Somari1996 said:
what if Chris got a fake letter from Michael Snyder saying he forgives Chris for all the horrible things he's done, and invites him to his house for dinner with his real address?
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Chris would think that in fact Snyder owes HIM an apology for being mean and discriminating against autistics. He'd show up for dinner nonetheless.
 
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