Containment What If?

What if Chris became a lifeguard at a public pool?
I picture chris playing with his DS, and when someone calls for help he yells
IM WORKIN ON IT and does nothing
then he shits in the pool
then he tries to forgiveness bless the water out
if the victim is a male, chris just goes "hmm, i didn't all i could."
if the victim was female, chris would try to trib with her, in hopes that his lesbian soul reawakens the drowned woman.
 
What if CWC kicked sand in Cool Cat's face?
Cool Cat would ask why he did that, and Chris would give him a bullshit excuse revolving around his autism. And given how uninformed everyone in that movie is about almost everything, Cool Cat would believe him. And then the rest of the story would become a misrepresented PSA about Autism and why it's okay to not do a damn thing about it.
 
What if Chris was offered an amazing life if he compleated 100 good deeds?
 
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