Containment What If?

WhatNemesisMeans said:
Since Barb is an utter cunt and sadly will probably still be alive by then, she'll scare Chris into giving it all to her so she can rack up as much debt as possible. Chris will pathetically try to resist, she'll wreck his room to show that pussy who's the boss, and then he'll post a video begging for money for the mortgage while Barb is mooning him from the shadows.
Click to expand...

Does Barb really threaten to wreck his stuff if Chris doesn't give in?
 
Mariposa Electrique said:
This week on Hillbilly Backwoods Wrestling (HBW):
"Pristine Christine" and "Barbage" take on "Tanya Tiny Tits" and her transgender granddaughter "Toothless Josephine" for the title of Mountain Momma (with or without a penis).
Naturally, Chris would trip on something due to stress after having his skullet easily pulled right out of his scalp.
Click to expand...

"Buh gawd King, Pristine Christine just dropped the autistic leg drop on Toothless Josephine! It's all over! It's all over! Oh mah gawd, Barbage just used the stinky winky on Tanya Tiny Tits!"
 
  • Winner
Reactions: Army Burger, Vault Boy, Apocalypso and 1 other person
Last edited by a moderator:
  • Winner
Reactions: Pigeon On A Stick, Elaine Benes, Broseph and 1 other person
Pigeon On A Stick said:
What if Chris wasn't an anglophone?
Click to expand...
Well, isn't he "un hablante de espanol perfecto"? All that book learnin' in high school - where he was on the honor roll - has to count for something. He knows one Spanish word, the name of an East Asian country, at least.
 
Garfieldchu said:
What if Chris went to a concert and threw his "want woman" muscle bra at a lady singer?
Click to expand...

Let's break this down :

1) The lady singer throws it away in disgust
2) Security tackles Chris
3) Chris yells that they are discriminating against him and resists arrest like the sack of shit that he is
4) Chris spends 48 hours in jail
5) Chris posts a demented tirade on fb explaining that he's the real victim here
6) Chris periodically goes to court while kiwis cross their fingers hoping that he's finally gonna get what's coming to him
7) Footage of Chris' time in court is produced but it's so fucking lame the Inner Circle decides not to release it
8) Boring threads are made to discuss if next time will be it (or request the release of said footage)
9) Chris gets no punishment at all because Virginia just won't see that he's a fucking subhuman who should be locked away and tortured on a daily basis
10) Dejected kiwis decide to vent their frustration by shitposting in the Dobson thread
 
  • Winner
Reactions: 8waifoofever8, sylveons, Garfieldchu and 8 others
Bionic the Hedgehog said:
What if Chris loses his shit and shoots up PVCC?
Click to expand...

I don't know how gun laws work in his state but I'm pretty certain that someone like him would never pass a background check to buy a gun, especially with his record of vehicular assault and macing a guy's shirt. And moreover on that Chris is too dumb to figure out how to buy a gun from the black market. Not only that but I think we all know by now how stupid and clumsy Chris is and it's very doubtful that he would even be able to line up anyone in his crosshair before he got tackled and had the shit beat out of him by security.

Hell if anything, Chris would probably make a video of him playing with his Megatraon pistol where he would beg and whine about someone buying him a real gun and mailing it to him as a "donation" so that he could finally have his revenge on that b-dog Mary Lee Walsh.
 
Last edited:
  • Informative
  • Agree
Reactions: Bionic the Hedgehog, Toki Wartooth, Army Burger and 2 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back