Containment What If?

[IwegalBadnik]

What if Chris had been born 100 years earlier, about 1882?

Well, he wouldn't have received any special education, he would have been treated like an imbecile by his family and he would be highly unlikely to find a spouse in 1882.

About the only change of the hundred year gap Chris has taken advantage of is the development of the tugboat.

 

[Randall Fragg]

Well, he wouldn't have received any special education, he would have been treated like an imbecile by his family and he would be highly unlikely to find a spouse in 1882.

About the only change of the hundred year gap Chris has taken advantage of is the development of the tugboat.

Wonder what he would obsess over? They didn't have Legos, so he'd probably be obsessed with...chunks of coal and sticks? Would he have been forced to abandon his laziness because of the harshness of the world?

 

[IwegalBadnik]

Wonder what he would obsess over? They didn't have Legos, so he'd probably be obsessed with...chunks of coal and sticks? Would he have been forced to abandon his laziness because of the harshness of the world?

I would imagine he'd have little to obsess over since the 1880s lacked the things we take for granted nowadays. I think Chris would have been viewed as a lummox only good for (perhaps) manual labor and back breaking work.

And no, I don't mean pulling weeds.

 

[Some JERK]

What if Chris had been born 100 years earlier, about 1882?

He would have been happier. Bob and Barb wouldn't have sent him to school (and if they'd tried, he would have gotten permanently kicked out in elementary school the first time the threw a tard-fit.) He would be a simpleton who the local sheriff would round up and bring home if he managed to go anywhere without a minder. "Now Barb, youn's know ye cain't let that boy a-loose on 'is own like 'at. I don' wanna see Chrisshun down in town without youn's agin."

 

[4Macie]

He would have been happier. Bob and Barb wouldn't have sent him to school (and if they'd tried, he would have gotten permanently kicked out in elementary school the first time the threw a tard-fit.) He would be a simpleton who the local sheriff would round up and bring home if he managed to go anywhere without a minder. "Now Barb, youn's know ye cain't let that boy a-loose on 'is own like 'at. I don' wanna see Chrisshun down in town without youn's agin."

100 years ago Bob probably would have been dead before he could have spawned Chris, and Barb would have definitely died at her age (or she would have been infertile). BUT saying that they lived 100 years ago like they do now, it'd be something like you stated or he'd have been sent to an asylum after he tried to hurt someone.

 

[Some JERK]

Also, 100 years ago "trolls" did worse things that harass you. They kicked your ass. For fun. Barb would have kept Chris in sight at all times, not so much out of fear that Chris would hurt someone, but more for fear that the local boys would hurt him.

 

[Konstantinos]

Also, 100 years ago "trolls" did worse things that harass you. They kicked your ass. For fun. Barb would have kept Chris in sight at all times, not so much out of fear that Chris would hurt someone, but more for fear that the local boys would hurt him.

I foresee Chris getting tarred and feathered or lynched as opposed to something mundane like getting tricked into breaking his medallions.

I wonder what his medallions would be made of back in the day. What would they even be of? There would be no Sonic or Pokemon to rip off.

 

[fridgesrants]

I just thought of a new what if? What if Chris and Barb were on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and they rebuilt their house. I bet Chris would get his dream room completely full of lego sets, a PS4, and a boyfriend free female sex robot. Barb would also get a room just for hoarding and it would already be pre hoarded. Then Chris and Barb would somehow manage to destroy it in a year.

 

[IwegalBadnik]

I just thought of a new what if? What if Chris and Barb were on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and they rebuilt their house. I bet Chris would get his dream room completely full of lego sets, a PS4, and a boyfriend free female sex robot. Barb would also get a room just for hoarding and it would already be pre hoarded. Then Chris and Barb would somehow manage to destroy it in a year.

Would it come with its own coffee machine?

 

[Coldgrip]

I foresee Chris getting tarred and feathered or lynched as opposed to something mundane like getting tricked into breaking his medallions.

I wonder what his medallions would be made of back in the day. What would they even be of? There would be no Sonic or Pokemon to rip off.

Who knows? But what ever they'd be, depending on the era, he might of wound up burnt at the stake for wearing them.

 

[CatParty]

what if a deli made a sandwich dedicated to chris? what would be on the sandwich?

would it be like the larry david sandwich?

 

[Meeko]

Ha! Castle Freak... I'm amazed anyone even remembers that movie. Its the third Stuart Gordon movie (loosely) based off the works of H.P. Lovecraft and staring Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton. They were... well entertaining. And Jeffrey Combs was awesome in those, especially the Re-Animator one. Incidentally, this reminds me that I've previously claimed Chris could pass for some sort of unspeakable Lovecraftian horror. What do you guys think? A Ghoul? Mi-Go? Deep One? One of the inbred Martenses? Even dread Cthulhu himself? Or Azathoth, the Blind Idiot God?

Personally, I'm leaning towards the Martenses, because they live in a hoarder house (well, mansion, but the Lurking Fear describes their home as having degenerated to the level of 14 Branchland Court, pre- or post-fire), they're an inbred old New Amsterdam family (much as Chris claims convoluted little genealogy goes back to Anne Boleyn, but undoubtedly snakes back over into itself a few times...), and they've reverted to a feral state (exactly like Barb and Chris). More importantly, they also possess Chris' much vaunted heterochromia... thanks to inbreeding incidentally.

Martensens, most likely.

 

[Andrew Noel Schaefer]

WI: Chris was Nero?

The two actually have alot in commen

 

[Meeko]

WI: Chris was Nero?

The two actually have alot in commen

Well, I can see Chris fiddling with himself while his house burned...

Much to my mental horror.

Here's a "what if" I've been tossing around in my head. I can't remember if someone asked this or not already. I think someone has, but I'll do this anyway:

What if Chris was really molested years ago while he was in elementary school? I know he thinks he was molested, but what if he actually was? Would this make some of his actions more understandable? Less understandable? It'd kind of explain Chris's attempts to become more female via Tomgirl-isms.

 

[Randall Fragg]

Who knows? But what ever they'd be, depending on the era, he might of wound up burnt at the stake for wearing them.

Well, it'd be early 1900s America, so he probably wouldn't be burnt at the stake. Maybe 300 years ago...

 

[Marvin]

Here's a "what if" I've been tossing around in my head. I can't remember if someone asked this or not already. I think someone has, but I'll do this anyway:

What if Chris was really molested years ago while he was in elementary school? I know he thinks he was molested, but what if he actually was? Would this make some of his actions more understandable? Less understandable? It'd kind of explain Chris's attempts to become more female via Tomgirl-isms.

Not really seeing the connection between tomgirl Chris and molestation.

 

[IwegalBadnik]

Not really seeing the connection between tomgirl Chris and molestation.

Appropriately labeled post #666.

 

[Mogambo]

Well, I can see Chris fiddling with himself while his house burned...

Much to my mental horror.

Well, more than that, Nero viewed himself as an artist and performed (badly) as an actor and singer much in the same way that OPL harbours delusions about his own artistic talents. Infamously, Nero's last words were "Oh what an artist dies with me!" Interestingly enough, Nero also had a rather dysfunctional relationship with his mother, who controlled him very tightly early on and later tried to have Britannicus replace him as emperor. In fact, Nero may have killed his mother after exiling her, which is probably a bit more ambitious than anything Chris will ever do. Also, Suetonius described Nero as having a potbelly, which is rather Chris-like. And finally, Nero married a castrated slave boy so he probably would've been down with the whole Tomgirl thing...

OMG, its uncanny! Chris truly must be the reincarnation of Nero! Fortunately, Nero got his ass handed to him during the Jewish revolt (okay, actually the Romans managed to destroy the Temple, but they didn't succeed in ending the rebellion until after Nero's death; oddly enough Nero comes across quite differently in the Talmudic traditions...) and the war with the Parthian Persians (who ultimately turned Armenia into a puppet state). I suppose those would be us dang dirty trolls then...

 

[Le Bateleur]

WI: Chris was Nero?

The two actually have alot in common

Hmm...I reckon Chris would be more a Claudius type

 

[Konstantinos]

WI: Chris was Nero?

The two actually have alot in commen

I always thought of Chris more being the Caligula type. I mean, we've all seen the extent of his paranoia and temper. That's not to mention how he goes power mad in the Sonichu comics and starts ruling CWCville with an iron fist. We all remember what happened to the Asperpedia Four . Mind you though, that's just fiction.