Containment What If?

What if every girl Chris has ever met was madly in love with him? (excluding family of course)
 
What if Aunt Corrina was Chris' real mother?
She would have been right to dump him off on Barb.

What if Chris IS his own mother to fool the state of Virginia that she didn't die in the horde a couple years ago. Gotta keep Barb's TugBoat a-floating.
He's not good enough of a liar to pull that, so it would be because the State found it funny.

What if every girl Chris has ever met was madly in love with him? (excluding family of course)
They would promptly stop once he drew them.

What if Chris worked for SpaceX?
 
My friend came up with a funny scenario. So the year is 1982 and God comes to Bob Chandler in a dream. “Robert, I have come to make you an offer. I will bestow soon you the greatest afterlife anyone has ever had. You will personally sit at my side and experience the greatest joy imaginable.” Bob is intrigued and very happy with that reward. “But in return you must spend the next 30 years in antagonizing pain and suffering. I will not harm you but you will spend every day wishing for death. If you kill yourself you will not get the reward.” Bob figures 30 years is worth an eternity so he agrees. Bob realizes that if he’s about to spend 30 years having the worst happen to him then he might as well get drunk beforehand. It is that night he meets Barbara Weston...
 
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