Containment What If?

[Guts Gets Some]

What if Chris ends up marrying before me?

 

[SheCameForNecky]

He would beg for more money as his hierarchy got higher, all dimensional-merge bullshit would be replaced for something related to space(?), I guess. Anyway, even Scientologists would kick him from the cult at same point.

I don't like Scientology, but the pre-Miscavige days, they likely would have helped Chris and given him meaning, a family, physical activity through labor, et al.

 

[whyCWC]

What if Chris ends up marrying before me?

You would have a far better reason to commit suicide than just feeling lonely

 

[AsianChris]

What if Chris ends up marrying before me?

He's married to his OCs now.

 

[Apocalypso]

What if Chris got a tattoo?

 

[Snuckening]

What if Chris got sucked into Scientology?

A lot of entry-level scientology seems to be pretty generic self-help/motivation shit, so it probably wouldn't hurt if Chris really got sucked in to it. But more likely he'd act all gung-ho for like a week, then lose all interest.

Even Scientology would be a step up from Chris's DIY Eschatological Hasbro-Nintendo-ism

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

What if Chris got a tattoo?

Sonichu tramp stamp

 

[Mender Bug]

What if Barb had died first, and it was Bob who was currently alive today?

 

[AnOminous]

What if Barb had died first, and it was Bob who was currently alive today?

He would have cut down the Internet and today, Chris-Chan would be a straight and moral heterosexual man whose only hobby is the occasional good old-fashioned cross burning.

 

[Apocalypso]

What if Chris was in international waters?

 

[SheCameForNecky]

What if Chris was in international waters?

The weens would have a field day and a fair mix of evil and laughable shit would go down.

 

[Apocalypso]

What if Chris was Barb, Barb was Bob, and Bob was Chris?

 

[Silence of the Troons]

What if Chris was Barb, Barb was Bob, and Bob was Chris?

Chris would be autistically senile, Barb would be dead, and Bob would be more normal than Chris

 

[Pablador]

What if against all odds, Chris had a magnum cock?

 

[Apocalypso]

What if against all odds, Chris had a magnum cock?

Magnum P.I.

Magnum I. P. Freely

 

[Feline Darkmage]

He'd fit right in then.

Someone get this man hooked up with Brianna Wu.

Wu/Chandler 2020 here we come.

 

[AsianChris]

What if Chris got oriental martial arts classes from a good dojo (or at least one that isn't a scam)? Would they teach some actual values and virtues? Or Chris would become a bigger threat to people around? Considere he would not quit untill 1 year at training for some reason.

 

[Apocalypso]

What if Chris was inside all of us?

 

[Phobotech]

What if someone worse than Chris emerged? Someone that hit all of the same points, but not in an aware parody like Liquid Chris...but a completely unintentional, new lolcow that has all the same problems but amplified?

A shiny and new lolcow, reminiscent of the golden years of Chris Chan.

Would the fascination with CWC and all the attention he usually receives die off as it empties out into this new person? One moment, he has a whole forum and a wiki and documentaries and interviews...the next it all comes crumbling down out of lack of interest. He might even discover its because of another, similarly exceptional person being trolled.

What would he do? Would he be relieved to be ignored for once?

 

[Lord Thistlewick Flanders]

What if Chris was a SoundCloud rapper? What name would he go by?