Big_Pete_33
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2013
I wonder would Chris be like Barb that he refuse to leave his vidya and all his crap behind even if his own life is in danger?
Containment What If?
- Thread starter darkhorse816
- Start date
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
And... if the Cadillac, tractor and BMW go up in flames, along with possibly Bob's tools, there's magnesium in all of those. Look up burning a Volkswagen engine on YouTube to see the effects of a magnesium fire on a smaller scale.
However the milk of magnesia in their medicine cabinet is not flammable despite being derived from the same metal as in the Cadillac and BMW engine parts, chassis parts and suspension.
However the milk of magnesia in their medicine cabinet is not flammable despite being derived from the same metal as in the Cadillac and BMW engine parts, chassis parts and suspension.
Zero Gun: Fenrir
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2013
Ewwwwww!!!! That's gross!!!! I got stuck on a plane with a fat obese woman, and she was eating the chicken fajita wrap with ranch, I went into the bathroom, and almost puked. I can only imagine if it was Chris, who probably smells like my brother when he doesn't use deodorant, and smells like a porta potty without the disinfectant, and who, on top of all that, was grumbling and bitching about not being able to play Vita or DS while the trial was in session, and made the deliberations hell.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Looks like Chicago wasn't destroyed by the aliens (probably because our politicians did the work for them).
Maybe after getting some food, Chris would suggest they go to Midlothian so he could be with his gal-pals again (even though most of them probably left years ago).
Maybe after getting some food, Chris would suggest they go to Midlothian so he could be with his gal-pals again (even though most of them probably left years ago).
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Here's a possible scenario in the form of a story:
After 3 hours, Barb managed to find a gas station to refill the car in a small town that has not yet been touched by the alien menace. The town itself was fortified by it's citizens in a vain attempt to fight off the aliens and their ships.
To Chris' delight, there was a McDonalds across the street from the gas station. After sending Chris to get food, Barb went to gas the car only to be greeted by a small group of armed citizens. The leader of the group, a man in his mid-forties, greeted the old crone. "Welcome to our humble town." the man said "You must be the first person to of visited our town since the alien menace attacked. A few tourist left to try and race to better shelter but a few stayed behind, knowing that their lives would be screwed.Now you can either stay here in our town and try to help or you can leave to whatever destination your trying to reach, the choice is yours." As Barb contemplates the situation, Chris comes back with a large bag of McDonalds, enough to hold about 40 McNuggets and couple Fillet-o-Fish. In his other hand is a cup holder with four iced-teas.
Before Barb can make her decision, a shot of pure energy is seen by many, hitting the roof of the town hall. "THE ALIEN MENACE IS HERE!!!" yelled the man, "LET THIS BE OUR FINAL STAND!! FOR AMERICA! FOR EARTH!! FOR HUMANITY!!!!" As the townsmen arm themselves with weapons, from Winchester rifles and Russian AK's to pipe bombs and makeshift grenades, Chris drops his food and begins to soil himself while Barb dies from a heart-attack thanks to the attack of the alien scum.
As the townspeople take cover, the mothership appears and abducts Chris who froze in the middle of the street. From here it could only get worse.
Dazed and confused, Chris can only see a bright light. "GodJesus? Is that you, you troll?" Chris said with contempt. As the light fades away, Chris' vision soon starts to clear. There he can see the aliens. They appear to tall green figures with bumps on their bodies, resembling for whatever reason a pickle. Some of the others aliens have a rather human form, but with orange skin, looking as though they came from New Jersey.
"#$%(FD#r3fdji1!" said the pickle-like alien. Though their tongue was nothing gibberish to Chris, they would walk up to him and plant a device that resembled a medallion. "^*n Y5 UnDIr5tand me? Can you understand me, you weak animal?" the alien said. The pickle-alien had apprently place a translator on Chris.
*continuing my previous post*
"I will kill you, you dang, dirty pickle -man." Chris said as though he tried to sound threatening. "Hahaha, you weak human, you cannot stop me and my people. We, the Graduons, cannot be stopped by your puny earth weapons. The mighty A-Bombs cannot break our metals nor can the puny AK-47's or M-16's pierce our flesh." The alien said with a smug attitude.
"Picklor!" One of the orange aliens said. "Our queen comes, she wants to see our captive." The green monster sighed "Alright Cashon. I will leave the chunky monkey alone." As the aliens line up in a military formation, a huge door opens. Two green aliens dressed in what appears to be elite outfits step forward. As they stand still, their leader comes forth. She looks like a normal human woman, with short blonde hair. She wore a purple dress and seemed to bear two red horns. "So this is our first captive, hmm? " The Alien Queen said in a questioning manner.
"LET ME GO OR I WILL CURSE-YE-HA-ME-HA YOU, YOU DANG, DIRTY WITCH!!!" Chris shouted as he raged.
The Queen, seeing as how funny Chris is at trying to be threatening, laughs. "HA HA HA HA, do you think you can defeat me, the dark space queen witch known as Maris Veen Waahlz? Break this feeble human into nothing but microscopic cells, he cannot stop us. Oh and be sure to call all ships back so we can use it to break this planet down for resources."
As the aliens withdraw their machines back to the mothership, Chris is soon disintegrated. Oddly enough, the bacteria that festered within him merged with his cells, strangely becoming a bio-weapon that can kill the aliens in the form of biomass. As most of the aliens gather within a large room to see the destruction of earth, an alarm goes off as a blob start to absorb some crew while destroying machinery that can't be merged. The blob itself appeared to be in a brown, fecal-like form that only hungers due to its progenitor being hungry. As the blob spreads, devours as many aliens before splitting in half to cover more of the ship. Eventually, the aliens fight back most of the beast, but in the end it was a feeble attempt as one part of the creature reached the reactor core, frying itself with the coolant devices, leading to the reactor to overheat and destroying the ship. The other half destroys the alien weapon that could break the earth down to a molecular structure. It was apparent that the alien menace would lose not just a war but their entire existence. With no coolant, the reactor would overheat, blowing up the ship and destroying all of its inhabitants.
From there, pieces of the ship would crash to earth on various countries that could utilize whatever was salvaged.
From that moment, the people of earth had won a grim war, thanks to a blob that was once a man-child.
That's probably what could happen. I do apologize if the writing is sloppy and/or lazy, but I wanted to say what could happen in the form of a story.
After wandering around my home for a few minutes to get the brain juices flowing, I thought up of an alternate scenario after Chris meets the alien queen:
After being amused by Chris' attempt at threatening her, the queen signaled her guards to throw Chris in the brig. As Chris is thrown into a cell, he is met by a strange alien, a being whose body was like liquid metal. "I swear, I will BREAK THEM IN TWO!!" Chris yelled at the liquid metal being. As Chris rambles, the liquid thing pounces on him. A struggle ensues as Chris feebly waddles around in slight discomfort. Soon after Chris had merged with the liquid xenomorph, a new being is born. It's metal form soon turning into blusih fur "I'am the one who seeks to ease his lonely heat. I'am the being who is electricity incarnate. The one who fights for truth, justice, and love. I'AM CHRIS-CHAN SONICHU!!!"
Meanwhile in the bridge of the alien ship. "Master." a robotic voice speaks, "We have withdrawn all troops to the mothership to begin the killing and pillaging of earth. The cannon will commence in 5 minutes." the bot says. "MWAHAHAHA, excellent." Mavis says with an evil smile. "Soon another planet falls, then I can finally rebuild my king, the dark being known as Gradiuon." Soon, an explosion is felt within the ship as an alarm goes off. "WHAT!? DID THOSE PATHETIC PRIMITIVES BREAK INTO THIS SHIP!?" the space queen yelled with an unholy rage. "NO" her robotic servant said "IT APPEARS TO BE THE HUMAN. HE MERGED WITH FURRY YELLOW PRISONER WHO WE TURNED INTO LIQUID A WEEK EARLIER!!!"
As the queen mobilizes her troops, Chris-Chan Sonichu burst through the door. From there he blast many of the queens forces with balls of electricity. Unfortunately, his wanton destruction also destroyed a console that acted as a self destruct switch that would destroy the enemy if they took control over the ship. Although the Queen was savvy enough to have escape ships that could bring her and her men out of the mother ship, Chris had also destroyed the console that locked the escape ships onto the mothership itself, dooming all of the inhabitants.
"YOU FAT, PATHETIC, UNINTELLIGENT, FOOLISH HUMAN. YOU ALL TO DIE!!!" the queen yelled in fury. Before anyone could do anything, the ship blown up into many fragments that would land on earth. It is clear that humanity had survived thanks to one of their own, Christian Weston Ch@ndler, merging with an alien that may resemble Sonichu. However the victory is bittersweet.
Much of humanity is decimated thanks to the alien attack and the one who saved earth has died with alien menace without ever being known. Eventually, humans rebuilt their cities, and honored those they have lost. Humanity even salvaged the alien tech and boosted their technological levels to a new high, making new discoveries and achievements along the way.
After 3 hours, Barb managed to find a gas station to refill the car in a small town that has not yet been touched by the alien menace. The town itself was fortified by it's citizens in a vain attempt to fight off the aliens and their ships.
To Chris' delight, there was a McDonalds across the street from the gas station. After sending Chris to get food, Barb went to gas the car only to be greeted by a small group of armed citizens. The leader of the group, a man in his mid-forties, greeted the old crone. "Welcome to our humble town." the man said "You must be the first person to of visited our town since the alien menace attacked. A few tourist left to try and race to better shelter but a few stayed behind, knowing that their lives would be screwed.Now you can either stay here in our town and try to help or you can leave to whatever destination your trying to reach, the choice is yours." As Barb contemplates the situation, Chris comes back with a large bag of McDonalds, enough to hold about 40 McNuggets and couple Fillet-o-Fish. In his other hand is a cup holder with four iced-teas.
Before Barb can make her decision, a shot of pure energy is seen by many, hitting the roof of the town hall. "THE ALIEN MENACE IS HERE!!!" yelled the man, "LET THIS BE OUR FINAL STAND!! FOR AMERICA! FOR EARTH!! FOR HUMANITY!!!!" As the townsmen arm themselves with weapons, from Winchester rifles and Russian AK's to pipe bombs and makeshift grenades, Chris drops his food and begins to soil himself while Barb dies from a heart-attack thanks to the attack of the alien scum.
As the townspeople take cover, the mothership appears and abducts Chris who froze in the middle of the street. From here it could only get worse.
Dazed and confused, Chris can only see a bright light. "GodJesus? Is that you, you troll?" Chris said with contempt. As the light fades away, Chris' vision soon starts to clear. There he can see the aliens. They appear to tall green figures with bumps on their bodies, resembling for whatever reason a pickle. Some of the others aliens have a rather human form, but with orange skin, looking as though they came from New Jersey.
"#$%(FD#r3fdji1!" said the pickle-like alien. Though their tongue was nothing gibberish to Chris, they would walk up to him and plant a device that resembled a medallion. "^*n Y5 UnDIr5tand me? Can you understand me, you weak animal?" the alien said. The pickle-alien had apprently place a translator on Chris.
*continuing my previous post*
"I will kill you, you dang, dirty pickle -man." Chris said as though he tried to sound threatening. "Hahaha, you weak human, you cannot stop me and my people. We, the Graduons, cannot be stopped by your puny earth weapons. The mighty A-Bombs cannot break our metals nor can the puny AK-47's or M-16's pierce our flesh." The alien said with a smug attitude.
"Picklor!" One of the orange aliens said. "Our queen comes, she wants to see our captive." The green monster sighed "Alright Cashon. I will leave the chunky monkey alone." As the aliens line up in a military formation, a huge door opens. Two green aliens dressed in what appears to be elite outfits step forward. As they stand still, their leader comes forth. She looks like a normal human woman, with short blonde hair. She wore a purple dress and seemed to bear two red horns. "So this is our first captive, hmm? " The Alien Queen said in a questioning manner.
"LET ME GO OR I WILL CURSE-YE-HA-ME-HA YOU, YOU DANG, DIRTY WITCH!!!" Chris shouted as he raged.
The Queen, seeing as how funny Chris is at trying to be threatening, laughs. "HA HA HA HA, do you think you can defeat me, the dark space queen witch known as Maris Veen Waahlz? Break this feeble human into nothing but microscopic cells, he cannot stop us. Oh and be sure to call all ships back so we can use it to break this planet down for resources."
As the aliens withdraw their machines back to the mothership, Chris is soon disintegrated. Oddly enough, the bacteria that festered within him merged with his cells, strangely becoming a bio-weapon that can kill the aliens in the form of biomass. As most of the aliens gather within a large room to see the destruction of earth, an alarm goes off as a blob start to absorb some crew while destroying machinery that can't be merged. The blob itself appeared to be in a brown, fecal-like form that only hungers due to its progenitor being hungry. As the blob spreads, devours as many aliens before splitting in half to cover more of the ship. Eventually, the aliens fight back most of the beast, but in the end it was a feeble attempt as one part of the creature reached the reactor core, frying itself with the coolant devices, leading to the reactor to overheat and destroying the ship. The other half destroys the alien weapon that could break the earth down to a molecular structure. It was apparent that the alien menace would lose not just a war but their entire existence. With no coolant, the reactor would overheat, blowing up the ship and destroying all of its inhabitants.
From there, pieces of the ship would crash to earth on various countries that could utilize whatever was salvaged.
From that moment, the people of earth had won a grim war, thanks to a blob that was once a man-child.
That's probably what could happen. I do apologize if the writing is sloppy and/or lazy, but I wanted to say what could happen in the form of a story.
After wandering around my home for a few minutes to get the brain juices flowing, I thought up of an alternate scenario after Chris meets the alien queen:
After being amused by Chris' attempt at threatening her, the queen signaled her guards to throw Chris in the brig. As Chris is thrown into a cell, he is met by a strange alien, a being whose body was like liquid metal. "I swear, I will BREAK THEM IN TWO!!" Chris yelled at the liquid metal being. As Chris rambles, the liquid thing pounces on him. A struggle ensues as Chris feebly waddles around in slight discomfort. Soon after Chris had merged with the liquid xenomorph, a new being is born. It's metal form soon turning into blusih fur "I'am the one who seeks to ease his lonely heat. I'am the being who is electricity incarnate. The one who fights for truth, justice, and love. I'AM CHRIS-CHAN SONICHU!!!"
Meanwhile in the bridge of the alien ship. "Master." a robotic voice speaks, "We have withdrawn all troops to the mothership to begin the killing and pillaging of earth. The cannon will commence in 5 minutes." the bot says. "MWAHAHAHA, excellent." Mavis says with an evil smile. "Soon another planet falls, then I can finally rebuild my king, the dark being known as Gradiuon." Soon, an explosion is felt within the ship as an alarm goes off. "WHAT!? DID THOSE PATHETIC PRIMITIVES BREAK INTO THIS SHIP!?" the space queen yelled with an unholy rage. "NO" her robotic servant said "IT APPEARS TO BE THE HUMAN. HE MERGED WITH FURRY YELLOW PRISONER WHO WE TURNED INTO LIQUID A WEEK EARLIER!!!"
As the queen mobilizes her troops, Chris-Chan Sonichu burst through the door. From there he blast many of the queens forces with balls of electricity. Unfortunately, his wanton destruction also destroyed a console that acted as a self destruct switch that would destroy the enemy if they took control over the ship. Although the Queen was savvy enough to have escape ships that could bring her and her men out of the mother ship, Chris had also destroyed the console that locked the escape ships onto the mothership itself, dooming all of the inhabitants.
"YOU FAT, PATHETIC, UNINTELLIGENT, FOOLISH HUMAN. YOU ALL TO DIE!!!" the queen yelled in fury. Before anyone could do anything, the ship blown up into many fragments that would land on earth. It is clear that humanity had survived thanks to one of their own, Christian Weston Ch@ndler, merging with an alien that may resemble Sonichu. However the victory is bittersweet.
Much of humanity is decimated thanks to the alien attack and the one who saved earth has died with alien menace without ever being known. Eventually, humans rebuilt their cities, and honored those they have lost. Humanity even salvaged the alien tech and boosted their technological levels to a new high, making new discoveries and achievements along the way.
An Ounce of Vagina
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Chris would walk up to the troll cage with a smug look, expecting them to beg for forgiveness for their crimes. When they instead say a lot of stressful non-asskissing things he would be confused, then sigh and go play PS3. The trolls would break out of the cage and spray paint CWC IS A HOMO on the front of his house.
- Joined
- May 29, 2013
Blue Max
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2013
Isn't this something like dozens of people?
-Jason Kendrick Howell
-Kathleen Nicole Wallace
-Vivian Gee
-Don/Surfshack Tito
-Bluespike (Real Identity Unknown)
-Megan Schoeder
-Mimms
-Michael Snyder
-Bianca
-Joshua Martinez
-Clyde Cash
-Jack Thaddeus/ADF
-Samantha Thaddeus
-A-Log
-Liquid Chris
-Kacey
-Matthew Davoria
-Thorg
-Alec Benson Leary/Fatman
-Billy Mays
-Jimmy Hill
-SonichuIzCool
-Adam Stackhouse
-Marcus Bagget
-Mary Lee Walsh
-B-Manajerk
-WM Manajerk
-Robert Simmons
-Assorted Jerkops, I'm sure.
-Quite Possibly the Judge and DA from 10/28/11.
-Trombista the Forum Poster
-Quite possibly another 6 to 12 people from the Cwcki Forum Saga.
Two dozen people, minimum, and perhaps as many as two score. It's a pretty solid bet this many people, desperate to avoid their captor, will able to turn the tables on our pet lolcow and play Kick the Autistic. One question for absolute sure is who is actually appearing in 14 Branchland? We have a triple team of real people who have basically been screwed with by CWC, Troll Identities that probably lead to other Lolcows ala the Calling Out Saga, and perhaps a few actual trolls in the mix.
Chris doesn't recognize half to three fourths of these people. I think facing this many people, CWC decides to let everyone go. He didn't recognize Liquid Chris in person; I suspect he barely recognizes what happened AFTER THE FACT. For once, CWC probably makes the right call--the inclusion of people like Michael Snyder in that list makes him a possible suspect in their disappearance, and he wouldn't get away with anything for very long.
It's a different question if CWC understood the situation, which he probably won't. In fairness, it's a bit of a stretch for a layman as well--people across the United States are involved in poking him because it's interesting. Now they're here, and he probably finds it worth chewing some of them out.
-Jason Kendrick Howell
-Kathleen Nicole Wallace
-Vivian Gee
-Don/Surfshack Tito
-Bluespike (Real Identity Unknown)
-Megan Schoeder
-Mimms
-Michael Snyder
-Bianca
-Joshua Martinez
-Clyde Cash
-Jack Thaddeus/ADF
-Samantha Thaddeus
-A-Log
-Liquid Chris
-Kacey
-Matthew Davoria
-Thorg
-Alec Benson Leary/Fatman
-Billy Mays
-Jimmy Hill
-SonichuIzCool
-Adam Stackhouse
-Marcus Bagget
-Mary Lee Walsh
-B-Manajerk
-WM Manajerk
-Robert Simmons
-Assorted Jerkops, I'm sure.
-Quite Possibly the Judge and DA from 10/28/11.
-Trombista the Forum Poster
-Quite possibly another 6 to 12 people from the Cwcki Forum Saga.
Two dozen people, minimum, and perhaps as many as two score. It's a pretty solid bet this many people, desperate to avoid their captor, will able to turn the tables on our pet lolcow and play Kick the Autistic. One question for absolute sure is who is actually appearing in 14 Branchland? We have a triple team of real people who have basically been screwed with by CWC, Troll Identities that probably lead to other Lolcows ala the Calling Out Saga, and perhaps a few actual trolls in the mix.
Chris doesn't recognize half to three fourths of these people. I think facing this many people, CWC decides to let everyone go. He didn't recognize Liquid Chris in person; I suspect he barely recognizes what happened AFTER THE FACT. For once, CWC probably makes the right call--the inclusion of people like Michael Snyder in that list makes him a possible suspect in their disappearance, and he wouldn't get away with anything for very long.
It's a different question if CWC understood the situation, which he probably won't. In fairness, it's a bit of a stretch for a layman as well--people across the United States are involved in poking him because it's interesting. Now they're here, and he probably finds it worth chewing some of them out.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
After watching an episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and vid that took jabs at bronies, I wondered what would happen if Chris had gotten himself transported to the land of Equestria. Chris has been a fan of My Little Pony since 2007, so what would happen if he managed to end up in the land of technicolor ponies?
Blue Max
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2013
He'd be a workaholic prodigy who has found great joy in god, now a priest for a church and quite the everyman. Despite his deep knowledge and ability to gain help from others, he is humble. Despite his great charisma, he married a somewhat homely woman who completed him instead of perhaps two dozen more attractive women.
He dimly suspects that video games might be used to corrupt the youth and tries to promote physical activity, he himself is a second degree black belt martial artist and active in many circles. Again, despite all of his achievements and thousands of friends, he remains humble, and on good terms with his father, Giovanni.
His house is ascetic with only things that he really needs inside, giving a feel of being overlarge and somewhat empty. His wife works and they have no children but there is clearly the money and space if they decided to have a child.
Politically, Father Reldnahc is a liberal democrat not too far removed from CWC's current church, but his political views are secondary and he'd never joke or make racist comments about them. More than anything, Reldnahc is charitable, helpful and trying to save the world as he can.
He dimly suspects that video games might be used to corrupt the youth and tries to promote physical activity, he himself is a second degree black belt martial artist and active in many circles. Again, despite all of his achievements and thousands of friends, he remains humble, and on good terms with his father, Giovanni.
His house is ascetic with only things that he really needs inside, giving a feel of being overlarge and somewhat empty. His wife works and they have no children but there is clearly the money and space if they decided to have a child.
Politically, Father Reldnahc is a liberal democrat not too far removed from CWC's current church, but his political views are secondary and he'd never joke or make racist comments about them. More than anything, Reldnahc is charitable, helpful and trying to save the world as he can.
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2013
Re: If Chris was transported Equestria?
He would be the only character that the ponies wouldn't want to be friends with. So they'd have to change the title to "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic...Except With Christian Weston Chandler. Fuck That Guy."
He would be the only character that the ponies wouldn't want to be friends with. So they'd have to change the title to "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic...Except With Christian Weston Chandler. Fuck That Guy."
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Pretty much like how Liquid was portrayed. He can play the guitar and sing well, speaks several languages, is a Parkour enthusiast, earned advanced degrees in art and creative writing and made a riveting and hilarious parody franchise called Sonichu. He has a brilliant and attractive wife named Kacey and two kids named Crystal and Reginald. In his spare time he is an activist for gay rights (yeah, I know, kinda ironic considering the real Liquid) and holds art camps in inner cities for disadvantaged children.
Big_Pete_33
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2013
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
He'd be like one of those Golden Age pulp heroes, Doc Savage, Captain Future, or the like. Honed to the peak of physical and mental excellence, possessed by a strong sense of justice, tirelessly crusading for the downtrodden. Women fall all over this mysterious champion, but they can never have him because his duty always comes first.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2013
