Containment What If?

If Barb were Abigail Adams she'd wouldn't be known as being someone ahead of her time. She'd be known for coddling John Quincy Adams, who would live off his father's money and follow childish pursuits his whole life. JQA would never become president or be involved in politics, of course.
 
Re: What if *I*...just drew out what I'd do if I had my saga

I like the style you've got here, and that angel...thing is great.

I have to ask, though, is that a fountain pen tip tie?
 
Re: What if *I*...just drew out what I'd do if I had my saga

God said:
I like the style you've got here, and that angel...thing is great.

I have to ask, though, is that a fountain pen tip tie?
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Why yes! And fountain pen hands and feet. No particular model, except I guess maybe 40's Sheaffer nibs.
 
Gay sex. All the gay sex. With all the guys.

All of them.
 
John Quincy Adams would have no idea that Thomas Jefferson was his real father.
 
He would accuse that person who wears that shirt as a troll. :ween:
 
That shirt is pickletastic. :pickle:

I imagine Chris would have the same reaction he had when he saw the Pickle-suited troll who interrupted his date.
 
CompyRex said:
Then she wouldn't be Barb.
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This. I don't mind some "What-If" questions but others are ridiculous

I think he'd accuse whoever wore the shirt of being a troll, or just sigh and go back home depressed.
 
I know Chris does not have the money or the drive to save up money to travel to Japan but I wonder what would happen if he actually had the chance to travel there. I know he used to be into anime for a while and became very obsessed with anime when he was friends with Megan. I wonder what the Japanese police would do if he used an attraction sign or loitered at various fast food restaurants.
 
He'd probably be disenchanted as soon as he arrived. He'd think life in Japan is just like an anime and be shocked when he got there like most weeaboo are.

He wouldn't understand why gaijin (non-Japanese) aren't allowed in some places and accuse them of trolling should he try to enter one of these places.

He might display a poorly translated attraction sign, which would make the Japanese girls laugh at him, although some might find it kawaii.

The Japanese culture is very subtle, so obviously this would go over his head.

It would be lulzy if he pissed off some yakuza, and :briefs: would result if he realized what the yakuza are and what could happen to him.
 
I watched both movies a couple of days ago just out of sheer curiosity. Medical accuracy aside, the sequel is six different shades of fucked up, insane and wrong.

But it did get me thinking about Chris.


Martin, the main character in HC2, is basically Christian Chandler UK: a mentally challenged ugly :briefs: loner subservient to his mother, unable to stand up for himself in any meaningful way during most confrontations. The biggest difference is Martin's ability to hold down a job, no matter how dead-end. Martin is, at first, able to carry out his plans fairly effectively - if a little haphazardly - but once it comes to the actual assembly of the 12-person centipede, everything starts to come unglued. I can imagine the same result with Chris, assuming he was even able to carry out the abductions in the first place. Realistically he might even abhor the films and not even be able to wield a wiffle bat let alone a crowbar and a toolbox, but for the sake of this scenario let's assume he somehow managed to... overcome those limitations. Who would he pick? How many people? Would he botch the surgery as badly as Martin, or worse?

Personally I would think he'd start with Clyde Cash at the front, Mike Snyder in the middle and Megan bringing up the rear. If Bluespike was added to the chain, he'd definitely be in the middle too along with Kacey, Mimms and Lucas (joined together with each other if Chris had any sense regarding the arrangement).

Gross, I know, but I couldn't help but wonder.
 
I'd get him to take a bath and enroll himself in a group home of some sort. Barb has no legal standing over him, because either he's mentally sound and able to make his own decisions or he's mentally incapable of doing anything for himself and the state of their home would show anyone that he's not in a proper environment.

Or...

I'd hypnotize him into cleaning everything out of the house despite Barb's complaints. Get him to lock her in a room if she complains too much.

I think that there might be people who would actually do it. There would of course be some people who stiffed Chris on the bill, but ultimately I think that if he did a "buy it now" thing with an option to where people could only "win" if they paid instantly, that there would be a few people who would do it. There are some people out there who are so hungry to start their own saga that they'd buy it if they could.

Assuming he had enough money to get there, I'm also going to assume that he had a hotel already booked and some spending money. I see him pretty much having the same existence in Japan that he does in the States.

Of course the really lulzy part would be if he went to a maid cafe or hostess club. Even though it's pretty much known by everyone everywhere that the waitresses there are only acting like they like you, Chris would assume that they're telling the truth. He'd probably even think that he had a chance, as he'd assume that Asian males all have smaller ducks than he does, meaning that all of the Asian girls would love his big American duck. (shudders)
 
He may encounter some like-minded individuals.

otaku-pillow-person.jpg
 
GrandNumberOfPounds said:
He'd probably be disenchanted as soon as he arrived. He'd think life in Japan is just like an anime and be shocked when he got there like most weeaboo are.

He wouldn't understand why gaijin (non-Japanese) aren't allowed in some places and accuse them of trolling should he try to enter one of these places.

He might display a poorly translated attraction sign, which would make the Japanese girls laugh at him, although some might find it kawaii.

The Japanese culture is very subtle, so obviously this would go over his head.

It would be lulzy if he pissed off some yakuza, and :briefs: would result if he realized what the yakuza are and what could happen to him.
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^Pretty much

I can guarantee he would get totally lost and get a taste of what being illiterate would be like. He would expect everyone to speak English to him, which will cause most Japanese to avoid/ignore him. (The exception being a few Japanese who do speak English well and actually go out of their way to have a chance to use this skill when they come across a confused looking tourist) He may also find that Japanese police are very polite and professional, but won't hesitate to give you a beat down if you make trouble. Getting anywhere in Japan usually involves walking (more exercise than Chris is used to) and trains (a bit of a challenge to figure out even for "normal" tourists who don't speak Japanese).

There are some things that would be in his favor though-
Japanese tend to mind their own business and if you want to let your freak flag fly, no one is going to laugh at you (openly).
They have McDonalds with food that will be familiar to Chris and menus at the counter with pictures he could point to, so he won't starve.

If he had a guide with him, he'd probably have a good time, otherwise, it would be a nightmare.
 
raymond said:
Vincent said:
What if Chris liked Digimon and Mario instead of Pokemon and Sonic?
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We'd get Mariomon instead of Sonichu.
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Digiro sounds more Japanese, for what its worth. The original plumber digimon.

champthom said:
Dead serious here - what if Chris got 20 piece McNuggets at McDonald's for $4.99?

Since he'd have two choices of sauces, what would he get?
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Probably barbecue. Anyone worth a shit would get sweet and sour sauce.
 
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Lefty said:
raymond said:
Vincent said:
What if Chris liked Digimon and Mario instead of Pokemon and Sonic?
Click to expand...

We'd get Mariomon instead of Sonichu.
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Digiro sounds more Japanese, for what its worth. The original plumber digimon.
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OT, but I misread Digiro as Dirigo. XD Digiro does sound more Japanese but I doubt Chris could be that clever.
 
A CWC Museum would be nice!

Someone please fund it!

CHris barely knows a few words of Spanish, what makes you think that Chris will have the effort to learn Japanese?
 
TBH, I didn't see the "What if Chris was George Washington?" thread when I posted this. I guess the historical reference went over most peoples' heads as to sound like plain 'spergin. Like Thomas Jefferson's a big piece of local mythology around C-ville (I've been to Monticello in Charlottesville, passed right by PVCC which is right next door, walked the trails Chris walked for Jackie.), John Adams has a ton of statues and T-stops named after him in Quincy, near where I live. There's this near-worthless scholarship I won for my MCAS scores called the John and Abigail Adams scholarship to any UMass. Anyways, it's kind of more of a big deal around where I live. Guess I was being a tad myopic. :asperchu: :tomgirl:
 
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