What is the worst excuse plot you've seen in a movie?

[Dysnomia]

The netflix castlevania show explaining vampire's weaknesses to crosses as "geometric shapes confuse predators".

"Kanfuses da shite outta dere b'ranes, m8"
That's retarded.

Earlier in the show vampires are shown to be killed by holy water, and that's never explained. A lot of the "religion bad" stuff in the show is undermined by vampires in folklore being weak to religious symbology and ritual, why would you make a show about religious monsters if you're going to have a le reddit atheist attitude?

They are supposed to be abominations of the resurrection of Christ. They rise from the dead to drink the blood of the living. Therefore being weak to crosses makes 100% sense. If they were just confused by geometric shapes then you could just trap them in a room full of them and they could never escape even if the door wasn't locked.

 

[ShiftyBoi]

They are supposed to be abominations of the resurrection of Christ. They rise from the dead to drink the blood of the living. Therefore being weak to crosses makes 100% sense. If they were just confused by geometric shapes then you could just trap them in a room full of them and they could never escape even if the door wasn't locked.

Also they live in castles, wouldn't architecture confuse them?


Look out for all those intersecting geometric shapes Dracula!

 

[Pokemon Conquistador]

Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky​

It's just a naked excuse for ultraviolence, and I love it, but if Ricky could punch a hole in the wall at the end of the movie and set everybody free, then why didn't he do that at the beginning?

 

[Heavy Rainfall2]

I haven't seen the new one, but the Final Destination movies come to mind besides maybe the first one. If you're like me, you're watching those movies to just see the stupid funny elaborate death scenes they come up with. They have a token plot about cheating death, but let's be honest, no one watches those movies for their deep characters or writing lmao

 

[TeaBaggins]

Pretty much everything in Queen Of The Damned.

 

[Dagoth AMOGUS]

The Happening

Mark Wahlberg’s acting in that is…..strange. Everything he says sounds sarcastic for some reason, I don’t know why the director wanted him to sound like this:

 

[TeaBaggins]

Really, the only thing that saves The Happening is that it's so bad it's entertaining.

Based on the other bad films I've seen with him, I swear it's the director's fault they say their lines so badly. I've seen the same in Old.

 

[74164978231]

Layer cake.

Good movie but there's one incredibly massive plot hole that moves the movie into its third act. Main character assassinates his boss with a pistol and is linked to it because he left a spent shell casing at the scene of the murder.

Only problem is main character used a bolt action pistol and only fired one shot so there was no spent shell casing. Even in the scene it clearly shows no case being ejected.

 

[Calandrino]

The netflix castlevania show explaining vampire's weaknesses to crosses as "geometric shapes confuse predators".

"Kanfuses da shite outta dere b'ranes, m8"
That's retarded.

Earlier in the show vampires are shown to be killed by holy water, and that's never explained. A lot of the "religion bad" stuff in the show is undermined by vampires in folklore being weak to religious symbology and ritual, why would you make a show about religious monsters if you're going to have a le reddit atheist attitude?

 

[sasazuka]

I haven't seen the new one, but the Final Destination movies come to mind besides maybe the first one. If you're like me, you're watching those movies to just see the stupid funny elaborate death scenes they come up with. They have a token plot about cheating death, but let's be honest, no one watches those movies for their deep characters or writing lmao

Final Destination: Bloodlines had a surprisingly great story compared to at least the previous two Final Destination movies, as though they were actually trying to make you care about the characters this time. It was more focused, since it was all about a single family rather than just classmates, workmates, or total strangers with nothing in common other than surviving the same disaster, having received a temporary reprieve from Death's plan.

It also had a dying-in-real-life Tony Todd ad-libbing lines where he's talking to the audience sincerely, including the final lines: ""I intend to enjoy the time I have left. And I suggest you do the same. Life is precious. Enjoy every single second. You never know when... Good luck!"

 

[TeaBaggins]

Final Destination: Bloodlines had a surprisingly great story compared to at least the previous two Final Destination movies, as though they were actually trying to make you care about the characters this time. It was more focused, since it was all about a single family rather than just classmates, workmates, or total strangers with nothing in common other than surviving the same disaster, having received a temporary reprieve from Death's plan.

It also had a dying-in-real-life Tony Todd ad-libbing lines where he's talking to the audience sincerely, including the final lines: ""I intend to enjoy the time I have left. And I suggest you do the same. Life is precious. Enjoy every single second. You never know when... Good luck!"

I think the one that came before this new one is pretty good too. It had a decent plot twist as well. I didn't see it coming.

 

[Kharash]

speaking of GoT, they aged up a few characters and the only explanation was to make them have sex.

To be fair not having over half your cast be child actors is probably reason enough to age them up, and a lot of those children did have sex scenes in the books so you know, probably a smart move. Also from what I remember the only reason there's so many children in ASoIaF is because GRRM initially planned to do a 5 year time skip or something which then never happened and he admitted that was a mistake.
Please don't make me defend GoT/GRRM again, I feel disgusting.

 

[Dr Naomi Hunter]

The matrix sequels. “The powers of the One extends beyond the Matrix”. Like come on, seriously? Those two movies were ridiculous. I never saw the most recent one, but I assume it was bad too.

 

[Tasty Tatty]

To be fair not having over half your cast be child actors is probably reason enough to age them up, and a lot of those children did have sex scenes in the books so you know, probably a smart move. Also from what I remember the only reason there's so many children in ASoIaF is because GRRM initially planned to do a 5 year time skip or something which then never happened and he admitted that was a mistake.
Please don't make me defend GoT/GRRM again, I feel disgusting.

Only Robb, Jon, and Dany have sex scenes, and Robb is never shown.

Look at Shireen, she's always portrayed as a young girl despite the actor's age. It's not like they couldn't, they chose it.

Add Tommen too. The book is very explicit on saying Tommen is too young for sex. And yet, the reason Marg earns Tommen's trust ain't sex (as Cersei would do), but by boosting his confidence, playing with him, and simply being nice and reminding him he's the King. The writers chose to make them have sex because that's all they can't think of. They waited for the actors to grow to age the characters because they wanted their sex scenes.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

Since bad films have a bad plot anyways, I'll go with a controversial pick:

Inception - Plot is generic heist film, only being a gay metaphor for movie making and ending with a "are we all butterflies dreaming they are human" philosophical nonsense. Plot is so much of an excuse that it gets overruled by the protagonist backstory and has no epilogue despite spending half the runtime introducing the characters.

 

[frozen_runner]

The netflix castlevania show explaining vampire's weaknesses to crosses as "geometric shapes confuse predators".

"Kanfuses da shite outta dere b'ranes, m8"
That's retarded.

I will explain this every time I see someone whine about it:

This is a direct nod to the scifi novel Blindsight by Peter Watts. Aside from the novel's hard scifi setting, the story's big "ask" is that vampires used to exist but were driven to extinction by humans by exploiting a neurological "glitch" that the evolutionary process could not have corrected: right angles (which do not generally exist in nature) cause them to have seizures due to something about how their brains were wired, and right angles started to proliferate after humans started building things. Vampires are then "resurrected" genetically as a species that exists in the future of the book.

That's just part of the book's setup, not the plot. It sounds schlocky, but it's a very good (if bleak) read.

So it's not in the show because it's "anti-religion." It's a nod to a good book that came up with a hard scifi explanation for how vampires might have actually existed but then died out.

Earlier in the show vampires are shown to be killed by holy water, and that's never explained. A lot of the "religion bad" stuff in the show is undermined by vampires in folklore being weak to religious symbology and ritual, why would you make a show about religious monsters if you're going to have a le reddit atheist attitude?

The show depicts the Church as human and corrupt, but I don't think it's exactly anti-Christianity.

I swear to God, people have just decided to hate this show in the past few years because they didn't like season 3 (which is a shitty season, I agree), and they've come up with reasons to hate it despite not even disliking it before season 3.

 

[ShiftyBoi]

I will explain this every time I see someone whine about it:

This is a direct nod to the scifi novel Blindsight by Peter Watts. Aside from the novel's hard scifi setting, the story's big "ask" is that vampires used to exist but were driven to extinction by humans by exploiting a neurological "glitch" that the evolutionary process could not have corrected: right angles (which do not generally exist in nature) cause them to have seizures due to something about how their brains were wired, and right angles started to proliferate after humans started building things. Vampires are then "resurrected" genetically as a species that exists in the future of the book.

That's just part of the book's setup, not the plot. It sounds schlocky, but it's a very good (if bleak) read.

So it's not in the show because it's "anti-religion." It's a nod to a good book that came up with a hard scifi explanation for how vampires might have actually existed but then died out.


The show depicts the Church as human and corrupt, but I don't think it's exactly anti-Christianity.

I swear to God, people have just decided to hate this show in the past few years because they didn't like season 3 (which is a shitty season, I agree), and they've come up with reasons to hate it despite not even disliking it before season 3.

Alright see I didn't know that, learn something new every day. Thank you for not being an asshole about it, I appreciate it.

I think that sorta doesn't work in a series like Castlevania, because it is a science fiction based explanation in a fantasy series that uses lots of magic, it's incongruous. If they weaved that element in over the course of the series, like say vampires preferring gothic vaulted ceilings with no right angles as opposed to regular straight ones, or crosses that weren't perfect right angles not working on them, I think it would have been clever, but adding that in as a reference in the LAST SEASON sort of messes with the feeling and genre of the series. Especially since it doesn't re-contextualize any moments in the series it's just something they wanted to reference, it's a sloppy edition.

I am a hater of the series from season 1, I thought the dialogue was terrible and when it didn't improve in season 2 I realized something was very wrong. I'm willing admit my ravings about the series being anti-religion are snap judgements, but I can't help getting that feeling when this adaptation of a very poetic and gothic series is so potty-mouthed, irreverent, and relying on action. Vampire Hunter D is a way better vampire series with a way better adaptation of Carmilla. Carmilla SUCKS in the netflix series dude.

 

[Tasty Tatty]

This is a direct nod to the scifi novel Blindsight by Peter Watts.

Ehem...

"But it's in the books/comics" is a terrible meta excuse when it's just for one single thing that you're adding after the rest of the context is removed.

I mean, I don't doubt the book is good and consistent within its own laws, but this is like saying we can domesticate the Jurassic Park dinos because it was done in Dinotopia.

 

[Calandrino]

It's not like the vampires fall to their knees clutching their skulls every time they see a square. In fact, I don't think you ever see one visibly react to a cross on the show. I figured maybe it only "confused" their vision the way something really shiny might confuse a human. In conclusion, I thought it was kinda stupid, but not that stupid. Also it's only one line and not the plot of the show, so it's off-topic

 

[Pokemon Conquistador]

The reason leftists love vampires so much is because they want to become vampires. They want to be rich and live forever without any effort. They also hate Christianity, so it's no surprise they imagine themselves being 14 year old reddit Atheists in Vampire form.

My favorite "Science Meets Vampires" story is The Hunger, because it shows just how sociopathic a being that constantly feeds off of others would have to be. Given the fate of people who volunteer to become the Head Vampire's vampiric lovers in this film, I almost feel the movie is a giant "fuck you" to anybody who'd volunteer to become a vampire.