What kind of diet should I go through to try and minimize teeth brushing as much as possible?

[Colon capital V]

Tooth brushing is a psyops by the gubbermint to try and introduce fluoride into our bloodstreams and poison us, or something. So what kind of foods should I eat to minimize tooth damage and the need to brush?
Some of it's obvious, avoid sweets and bread that'll cause tooth decay, and I assume it'll mostly just be pure meat and veggies from here on out.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I certainly understand the concern for purity of essence, but couldn't you just brush with non-fluoride toothpaste? Just look in the hippie section.

You can also chew xylitol gum.

 

[BirdUp]

i'm on a water-only diet

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I certainly understand the concern for purity of essence, but couldn't you just brush with non-fluoride toothpaste? Just look in the hippie section.

You can also chew xylitol gum.

Tom's toothpaste is my go to because it's gentler on my mouth than other toothpaste for sensitive mouths. Don't ask how I can eat super spicy food while finding normal toothpaste too spicy. I don't get it, either.

Hippie toothpaste is the best if you find Sensodyne too spicy.

 

[SNU]

Modern fruit and veges have significantly higher sugar content than what was available to our ancestors. We've domesticated them for so long and made them all full of carbs. Processed sugar is worse for your teeth but modern fruits and veges will still contribute to tooth decay if you stop brushing. You'll have to do some reasearch on sugar content of various modern vegetables and fruit compared to paleo fruit and vegetables. Or find and cultivate an edible wild plant that hadn't been buck broken by humanity to just be full of sugar. Either way it's significantly less effort to brush your teeth

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Or find and cultivate an edible wild plant

Dandelion is back on the menu, boys.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Hippie toothpaste is the best if you find Sensodyne too spicy.

I order Sensodyne from overseas, the kind that can legally have Novamin in it, because this is a dumbass cyberpunk future.

 

[SNU]

Dandelion is back on the menu, boys.

You can eat acorns but it's so much effort. You grind them up and wash the tannins out. Wash it a few times, soak them, soak them again. It's so much effort but you can make flour out of them.

Cattail roots make flour too. Add the pollen to it for more protein. The problem with cattails is they live in wetlands and if there's even a small amount of environmental pollution it will accumulate in the plant.

Sometimes you can find wild versions of domestic crops. If they have been wild for a while they don't make so much sugar. The problem is they can also develop toxins. Wild peas can be poison. Wild potatoes can be poison. Plants don't like being eaten so they very quickly adapt to either be toxic or taste bad as soon as you stop controlling their reproduction

 

[Broadside]

Hey let me tell you a story.
I believed all that BS about muh flouride, and you know what happened? I didn't get magical powers, I didn't get clarity of thought, my autism didn't go away; I just got painful cavities that are now costing me a ton of $$$ to fix.

And my dentist? She has the nicest teeth I've ever seen, so I just take her word at it now and she says to use flouride toothpaste.
Who's right- me with my rotting teeth or the dentist with her silver white pearls?

Fwiw though, keto is a good option. It's sugar and carbs that rot your teeth (technically it's the bacteria in your mouth that eat enamel and shit out acid that rots your teeth).

Please save yourself from schizo nonsense and just brush your teeth, toothache and invasive dentistry is the worst.

 

[Cat tit bingo]

I'd recommend the patented slorp diet. Apple sauce for fruit, thin mashed potatoes and gravy for veggie and protein, melted cheese for dairy and ice cream for a treat.
Just cover your teeth with a mouth guard and send that nutrition straight into your gullet. If you want you can even remove your teeth now for convenience at a low, low price.
If you'll like our meal planning kit and teeth removal service* find us behind the Arby's off martin luther king Jr Boulevard and St. Floyd street, just tell them bingo sent yeah.
*please bring your own medication and gauze as none will be provided, any infection or missing organs are not the responsibility of CTB Enterprises

 

[Homo neanderthalensis]

I subsist on a diet of Hunter Biden paintings and Trump stakes. My teeth look great.

 

[Vect]

Just live off intravenous drips and never eat again.

 

[modern horrors]

Thinly veiled anti-dentite thread.

 

[Absolutego]

I certainly understand the concern for purity of essence, but couldn't you just brush with non-fluoride toothpaste? Just look in the hippie section.

You can also chew xylitol gum.

You don't even really need toothpaste for the bulk of the benefits of brushing. Swilling filtered water (I assume if he's freaked out about fluoride he doesn't drink tap) and brushing accomplishes a ton. The toothpaste is almost more about minty breath than actually having an impact on dental hygiene.

 

[Lemmingwiser]

When I stopped drinking soda, eating candy, things with sugar and icecream, I barely needed to brush my teeth anymore.

Spoiler: proof

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Are you talking about your mouth hole teeth or the teeth in your vagina?

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Eat some lead and you won't have to worry ever again.

 

[Asian tech support]

Nigga, just eat the toothbrushes. Or see if you can find a bristle supplier and cut out Big Dental.

 

[Optimum Cockfag]

On the 24 hour clock of human evolution, lifespans have doubled from 23:59:58 to 23:59:59.

Just face the fact you're going to lose all of your teeth unless you die young, and decide how much of your retirement savings you want to gift your (((dentist))).

 

[MrTroll]

And my dentist? She has the nicest teeth I've ever seen, so I just take her word at it now and she says to use flouride toothpaste.

I've got news for you, pal: your dentist's shiny white teeth aren't real, they're fake ones that she was able to afford because of the kickbacks she's getting from big fluoride.