What kind of superpowers would you want? - Mask your insecurities with absurd superpowers

Invisibility, laser vision (no more eyeglasses!), telekinesis, and materializing things out of thin air (which will save me $$$!).
 
Teleportation so that I don't have to move all of my crap to another city or state. I can just teleport to work in many cities or states away. I have always dreamed of traveling. I could be like I visited Hawaii, Florida, and Paris this weekend what about you?
 
  • DRINK!
Reactions: nonvir_1984
I would like to be able to just think about some fuckwit and by the sheer power of my mind, fry their brains. Admittedly, for some of them, it would not make any difference. If I was feeling merciful, I would just fuck up their brains enough so that they did embarassing, humiliating stuff in public. This is fair and just. I have a list.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: PsychoNerd054
Besides being more financially well-off & secure (rich) so I can take care of myself better, I can think of 2 - but it has to be one or the other, not both.

* Were-beast capabilities - except I maintain my intelligence and self-awareness and can do it at will (without the need of a full moon.); however, I'm at my strongest when it's nighttime, since I'm a night person in general. At daytime, any capabilities are slightly reduced to avoid being too OP.

Basically, 1) a wolf-like form for normal and underground maneuvering applications, to move very fast, jump good, nice sharp claws and toe-claws for CQC purposes; 2) a dragon-like form similar to the wolf-like form in capabilities, but built specifically for swimming purposes (since this form has gills when exposed to underwater areas.); 3) a bat-like form meant mostly for flight purposes to get around where my other forms can't.

I can only become 1 form at a time; no combinations. I can't exactly turn people into were-beasts like myself, either - if it does happen, it's a very rare occurrence and usually only happens when I have a cold or allergies and am unfortunately spreading unwanted germs. When that happens, I aim to stay far away from people, so as to not go spreading things around.


* Vampire capabilities - except with none of the stupider weaknesses.
  • However: Wooden stake to the heart - fuck, just getting stabbed in the heart? Done for.
  • Sunlight simply lowers any powers I might have by 25% (50% on very hot days); Like the were-beast thing, I'm only at my best when it's nighttime.
  • Holy water / water in general? Not harmful. In fact, I need it to be able to keep my body hydrated and wash myself.
  • I can enter people's houses of my own free will, but inviting me in means I'll be polite about it that little bit more.
  • Garlic... it'll basically have the same effect on me as drinking too much alcohol in one sitting...
  • Rice and counting it? I'll just knock the crap out of you for annoying me like that.
Basically enough, I have extremely good sight and hearing, jump really good (which basically mimics bat-like flight), move faster (ninja-like tactics) and hit harder than normal; also, I don't wear shoes, since I have razor-sharp claws and toe claws for additional effective CQC purposes.

I drink blood as part of a healthy diet, but I don't aim to kill people, unless it's deserved - I get my blood, using my ninja-like tactics involving sneaking up on people and either throwing / quietly stabbing them with needles, intending to knock them out, get what I need, and get outta there without getting noticed.

I mostly get my nourishment from eating a meat-heavy diet, unlike humans who need a strong amount of veggies and fruits, etc., to keep themselves in check.

I don't go turning people into vamps for no good reason, either - fun as the idea sounds. It's just too much trouble.
 
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  • Autistic
Reactions: Guts Gets Some, Krimjob, nagant 1895 and 1 other person
I think this combination would be neat:

  1. Complete invulnerability to physical harm.
  2. Teleportation
  3. People cannot lie in your presence.

Teleport into Hillary Clinton's house, Congress, EU Parliament, Harvey Weinstein's house, Bibi's house, etc etc. Stream myself asking them questions and watch them be perplexed while they give truthful answers. Would be a pretty neat, harmless, honest way to help save the world.
 
The Power to get only Good Press.

I wanna set fire to an orphanage, throw live cats at people, maybe plough a bus into a hospital, and then get a Nobel Peace prize for my efforts.
 
Bohemian Rhapsody from JoJo (pic related) so I can make everyone's waifus real
733353
 
  • Horrifying
Reactions: Guts Gets Some
Someone think of a more useless power than being able to turn into a loaf of bread (without keeping your mind).
 
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