The experience & observation was perpetual bewilderment. Literally
everything about working there was certifiably insane. The level of unwarranted megalomania that bled down from corporate into the low-level managers was so palpable that I spent most of my shifts in open rebellion & uncontrollable laughter.
This place was so heavily regimented in every way.. It was brutally & immediately apparent to me, even then as a retard teenager, that I was
not going to last very long in this micro-DPRK dictatorship, lolol. I kind of decided to keep going back just out of morbid curiosity. It was truly fucking amazing. I've long forgotten most of the litany of tyrannical dogshit this place unloaded on people, lol, but the bullet points that do remain:
I saw co-workers publicly chastised & promptly -written up- (?!?) for egregious fuckups like 'improper creases' as they folded & stacked shirts on display shelves. Clocking in or out at
any time that wasn't a precise :00, :15 or :30 (

). I even saw one chick catch shit for never buying or wearing to her shifts, any of the shitty child labor camp clothing they sold there, which 'was poor product promotion', This turbocringey verbal beatdown was followed by an a 5m browbeating about 'taking advantage of the company's generous 15% employee discount'..
Whenever I tried to initiate any kind of dialogue with another wageslave, all of them within earshot would hiss at me to "Stop, we aren't supposed to do that!" And when I'd persist (in the name of the fuckin science project this job was to me) everyone in my radius would vacate. Just..
Dude..
And OMG my favorite: If you weren't actually scheduled, you were "On-Call". Not "Off". Off was not a thing. They insisted that if their weekly screed didn't have you chiseled-in as to be physically situated in their rented retail box, then your personal time didn't actually belong to you & was absolutely negligible if a manager deigned to summon you into the jaws of polyester death at any time. This shit was without question, the thing I found the most amusing of all. Lol, fuck outta here, I'm playing Playstation. Forever. Eat my dick. Choke on it. Lol.
On a deeper level, aside from how I viewed it all as pure comedy, the only thing more disturbing than all of the draconian mandates, & even more than these capable adult women who put up with that unmanageable amount of bullshit (for something like $5.15/hr, btw) -some of them for years, even- was the unironic, unflinching nature of all the little automaton capos that ran the place.
All of which were women in their early 20s, meting out all this psychological abuse without a glimmer of guilt. All of them. Zero hint of awareness as to how wholly rétarded all of it was. It was fucking creepy. Like Grown Folks of the Corn creepy.a
SO! What was the thing that did me in, you're asking? Lol. Peak rétard for me was achieved when they finally tried to wrangle me after those few weeks of absolute refusal to fall in line,
I was beckoned into a back room to put my signature on a writeup for "reporting for a shift in 'OUT-OF-SEASON' wardrobe.




Science Project = OVA. Right there. That was my shortbus stop.
I laughed myself into a coughing fit while the manajerk sat there dumbfounded. Through these lol-spasms, I scribbled something on the sigline that definitely contained the word "fuck", then got up, walked out to the center of the store, raised both birds high & started doing Miss America waves with them as I made my grand exit. It was at least half an hour before I got a handle on the laughter, though.
That was far from the last retail job I'd ever hold, but now as a grownup with a few degrees behind me & a long career in the "professional world" of white collarcucks, I'm happy to say that place was the outlier. I've never seen anything close to that level of faggotry in any job ever since. And trust me; I have had more than a few jobs that were total guttertrash.
It also shaped the adult I grew up to be, as a person stuck working retail just about'd have to punch one of my kittycats in the face to invoke my inner Karen. And I'm happy to have turned out like that.


/end textwall.