What would you do if you were given god powers?

Challenge Chuck Norris to a legendary battle of the gods that will be remembered for eons.
 
Saney said:
Make the wizards get jobs, steal all the Loveshies penises and get Firefly back on tv.
Click to expand...


Ah loveshies. you just reminded me of what else I would do

I would find fschmitd and make him both immortal and able to rapidly heal himself, and then plug him to a machine that flays his entire body scrotum first with hydrochloric acid drenched blades, all while a vast cone of uranium was shoved into his sphincter so his prostate becokes one big agonising tumor

Then I would put said machine in the core of pluto so he can remain undisturbed forever

Jackie Chin said:
Challenge Chuck Norris to a legendary battle of the gods that will be remembered for eons.
Click to expand...

I would also deliver a stern talking to in person to all those who still deify a washed up homophobic and bigoted punchline as being worth two shits.
 
Judge Holden said:
Jackie Chin said:
Challenge Chuck Norris to a legendary battle of the gods that will be remembered for eons.
Click to expand...

I would also deliver a stern talking to in person to all those who still deify a washed up homophobic and bigoted punchline as being worth two shits.
Click to expand...
Pfft, Chuck Norris. Now Bruce Lee on the othe hand...
 
I'd alter my own bodily needs and metabolism so that no matter what I eat, I always get the ideal amount of nutrients and minerals. Then I'd eat nothing but Subway. Also increase the angle of Chris's duck bend. AUGH YEAH
 
Pretty much give myself unlimited wealth. Then I'd give myself the ability to throw fireballs. Them I would give Chris his reunion, but turn all the gal-pals into shirtless dude homo pinheads.
 
Saney said:
Judge Holden said:
Jackie Chin said:
Challenge Chuck Norris to a legendary battle of the gods that will be remembered for eons.
Click to expand...

I would also deliver a stern talking to in person to all those who still deify a washed up homophobic and bigoted punchline as being worth two shits.
Click to expand...
Pfft, Chuck Norris. Now Bruce Lee on the othe hand...
Click to expand...

Fuck the hell yes. He was the reason i studied wing chun and the reason i am still in love with martial arts
 
Probably do nothing. Sit on the couch, watch some TV.

I haven't watched TV in a while, maybe I'll divinely steal some cable.
 
I'd create a boulder so large, I could not lift. Or alternative, microwave a burrito so hot, I could not eat it.
 
Stupid liberal world peace bullshit and then go into hiding.
 
I'd also use my god powers to confine love-shys in the same room with SJW's and eat popcorn as they tear each other apart. I'd also use said powers to bring pastel colored ponies to life and have them call-out the crazed bronies who lust after them and their pastel-colored pony china's.
 
More divine punishments.
Make Chris super attractive and clean for 1 month, then immediately put him back to where he was, so he wakes up as fat Kaka again. Make Ahuvia's dick grow back. Oh give Rika a Duck Dynasty beard, that cannot be shaven off, no matter how hard one tries. Oh and create hot women to tempt the Wizards, and then when the wizard breaks down and has hanky panky, his dick disappears leaving a breif poof of dust.

Oh yeah and when I'm god, Fred Phelps, Pat Robertson etc. they go to Hell, and my hell for them is a loud, dirty, gay night club, and they cannot exit for 500 years, then after the 500 years they are given the bodies of young kids and are bullied for being gay, but this is Pat Robertson and all those guys being bullied so it would last forever in an endless cycle.

Oh and Kim il Sung and his 2 successors, get a free stay in one of their beautiful work camps, where they will get the average North Korean prisoner treatement for eternity.
 
I would bring Jeff Hanneman back to life and force Dave Lombardo to rejoin Slayer, then I'd make them team up with Sepultura, and Hirax and they'd make SlayPultuRax.

I would turn the Wizards into little boys and girls and have them sent to a NAMBLA convention and a Gary Glitter concert. Then I'd kill all of the Wizards and all of the members of NAMBLA and I'd kill Gary Glitter not because he's a pedo but because he makes shitty music. And because he's a pedo. But mostly the music.

I would put Fschmidt in a ring with a female boxer and have her beat the shit out of him.

I'd find out where Bruce Lee is hiding (because he's not really dead) and make him fight Mohammad Ali. Then they'd team up and become my personal two man army.

And then I'd marry a sexy black woman.
 
Everything I want to do as it comes to me. I'd probably end up being somewhat (or exactly) like Q from Star Trek: The Next Generation eventually. But female.
 
Ya know something, brother? The Hulkster would use his powers to make sure everyone was training, saying their prayers and eating this vitamins. The Hulkster would also make sure that everyone was Real Americans, man. Not to mention using those powers to finally get Bobby Heenan to change his ways. It's the same old story with that weasel, man. He throws guys at the Hulkster, and the Hulkster keeps chopping them down. One day, the Hulkster will get the weasel in these 24 inch pythons.
 
  • Winner
  • Semper Fidelis
Reactions: Lurkette and Carlos Thin
spaps said:
I'd release Half-Life 3.
Click to expand...
I don't think the powers of a god are enough to make that happen...
 
PvtRichardCranium said:
I would turn the Wizards into little boys and girls and have them sent to a NAMBLA convention and a Gary Glitter concert. Then I'd kill all of the Wizards and all of the members of NAMBLA and I'd kill Gary Glitter not because he's a pedo but because he makes shitty music. And because he's a pedo. But mostly the music.
Click to expand...
Isn't NAMBLA into little boys only? Just saying.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back