What's the best way to commit suicide?

[Quijibo69]

Jump off a really tall building and splat everywhere.

 

[Cake Farts]

Masturbate to death

 

[sperginity]

Basketball hoop lined with blades, slam dunk your skull through it from an adequate height, optimally with a crowd below

 

[Super Collie]

Is dying like Mr. Hands a variant of ritual seppuku?

 

[Sir Auroras]

Heavy dose of sleeping pills to knock yourself out and then carbon monoxide poisoning to end it.

Dew it, fagget.

 

[hambeerlyingnreed]

Eat 20 bananas in 1 day.

If that actually were a way to off yourself, Freelee would be long dead

 

[Caddchef]

For you @Ron /pol/ ?

Massive anal trauma.

 

[Rand /pol/]

For you @Ron /pol/ ?

Massive anal trauma.

Silly that's how your mom died

 

[BroccoliBrain]

By reading everything in Articles and Happenings and being content with the fact that you can leave this world

 

[Burgers in the ass]

commit suicide

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

Not sure where this chart originated from, so take it with a grain of salt. But apparently, blowing your brains out is your best bet.

How does one even measure agony?

 

[ComeoutandJULAY]

> poll ends on July 12, 2021

Is that the big day on which you plan on doing it? Seems like a pretty significant date to me.

 

[Rand /pol/]

> poll ends on July 12, 2021

Is that the big day on which you plan on doing it? Seems like a pretty significant date to me.

So I made me a vow to the moon and to the stars...

 

[sperginity]

Immediately is the best way

 

[ShittyRecolor]

Living, of course! I mean, it might take a while, but all people who had lived eventually died, so living has a 100% chance of leading to death, whereas all other methods have a small likelihood of failure. Slow and steady wins the race, as the proverb goes.

 

[Judge Holden]

I got it all planned out.

There are some train tracks near where I am that are easy to access. Late at night I would get my pregame on with a few beers and a shot or two and then quietly make my way to the tracks with a backpack filled with a shot glass, a whiskey glass, a single bottle of overproof rum and a single bottle of high quality hooch (probably bourbon). When I reach the tracks I would stay in the treeline and spend a good half hour+ enjoying the bourbon, getting myself further and further drunk until a train goes by. after it passes I abandon the bourbon and head over to the tracks with the overproof, and have 10+shots until I am absolutely paralyetic. Here it gets simple. I lie my neck down on one of the tracks and get comfortable looking up at the stars. When the rail starts to vibrate (indicating a train is coming) I have a final swig, throw the bottle to the side, and wait for oblivion to engulf me.

Boom. No pain, no fuss, no risk of staying alive-yet-crippled/braindamaged. simple decapitation while alcohol numbed.

 

[AnOminous]

Boom. No pain, no fuss, no risk of staying alive-yet-crippled/braindamaged. simple decapitation while alcohol numbed.

Considerate, too. Unlike those nasty things where some inconsiderate asshole jumps right in front of a train, you really only have two parts. The engineer probably won't even notice going over it, instead of being traumatized for life and an emergency team having to scour miles of landscape for body parts.

No, really. Someone run over by a train doesn't just bounce off. They get mangled and dragged under and bits and pieces spew out over miles.

With this, someone just finds a headless body at some point.

 

[BeanBidan]

Down the road on painkillers and half a bottle of 99% proof alcohol.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

Bing says that even a shotgun to the head isn't a sure thing.

An old man where I grew up accidentally shot himself in the forehead while cleaning a rifle. He lived alone out in the woods so he had to call the ambulance himself and explain what the emergency was, they didn't believe him but agreed to send someone. He told them he would wait on the steps of the house, to make it easier for them. Although he was bleeding, unresponsive and sprawled on the ground when the ambulance came he survived, parts of his brain was damaged but he continued to do what he normally did but was now a homosexual. Maybe it was the brain damage that did it or the near death experience made him go "fuck it, I'm getting some man ass now".

So be careful about trying to commit suicide with firearms.

 

[An Sionnach Seang]

go to Belfast, go into a really rough pub on the Shanklin Road dressed in the tri-colour and a shamrock hat, then shout "the only true Ireland is a united Ireland! Éireann go Brách!" at the top of your voice

on the other hand, if you want something quick, clean and reliable, cyanide gas is the way to go: a large enough dose will kill you in an instant