What's the most autistic thing you've accidentally said in a conversation?

[8777BB5]

I can't wait to read your boobs (said to an a busty author who had finished a three book series)

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

In high school, I had a pair of dirt cheap knock off mirrored sunglasses, presumably bought from the local drug or hardware store.

One summer, some of my classmates saw me wearing them and asked if they were Oakleys. I had no idea that was a designer eyeglass brand, but I knew there was someone in our school with the name Oakley. Thinking I was being asked if they were his glasses, I replied, "No, they're mine."

 

[polonium]

After my grandfather's funeral, some old lady who was probably one of his friend's wives came up to me and said it was a lovely service, and just what he would have wanted, and without thinking I said "I think he'd have wanted to still be alive"

 

[Nick Gars]

Eh, I'm pretty self-aware so I don't exactly have anything exceptional that I've said to others. Closest thing would be embracing the fact most people see me as a school shooter. I embrace it and crack jokes about it though, that's quite exceptional I suppose.

 

[AF 802]

Everything I've ever said. I don't talk to anyone.

 

[Cat Menagerie]

I was messaging my mother recently, and my phone auto corrected "today" into "furfag" for some reason, since I apparently swiped like shit. I didn't catch it and then had to explain a bit about furry "culture" to my good Christian mother.

 

[Midlife Sperglord]

Every time I admit to watching anime, I am encouraging autism in others.

 

[Le Pew]

I tried to use lolcow in a sentence the other day to my wife when she asked what I was reading online. I had no idea how to pronounce it, it sounded dumb and I regretted trying to say it out loud it pretty much immediately. I'm just going to say Kiwi Farms from now on.

 

[Slap47]

I recommended Highschool of the Dead to a professor during a casual end of the year chat.

 

[UE 558]

Just like a half hour ago I went on a cringy tangent in animal control because I'm an insecure cuckold who tries too hard to rationalize irrational behavior

 

[真理子]

a normal functioning person: Hey, it was really nice to meet you!
me, too autistic to deal with a normal conversation: S-sure

 

[ShittyRecolor]

Once I was talking about leftist loons with a friend of mine IRL and used REEE-ing as a word. Thankfully in our native tongue we have a verb for whining that sounds very close to REEE, so my friend has automatically assumed I was using that and all potential confusion was avoided. I guess you could say it was one of the most covertly autistic things I've ever said.

 

[omori]

I have a habit of holding stuff in my teeth if my hands are full: papers, light bags, what have you. Its convenient, fuck you.

In highschool there was a moment where i have graded papers in my mouth and im opening my backpack as im walking. My boyfriend offers to hold them for me while I unzip my bag. I tell him without thinking “My mouth is my third hand.”

Im glad he has a bad memory.

 

[lameandgay2]

I said 'lmao' and 'lol' at the end of many sentences during an irl conversation without realising until someone asked me if I 'did that all the time'

 

[yeahweknow]

nothing, meaning someone recognised me and called out to me, and i didn't respond

 

[skiddlez]

this thread isn't even fair for someone like me, I spent several years drunk/high. pretty much everything that came out of my mouth then was autistic. my best stories aren't even the shit I said though, it was the shit I did.

 

[Count groudon]

Once when we were having a family gathering at the park it started to rain, and one of my very distant cousins was watching her son and some other kids play on the swings. She made a comment about how she hoped lighting wouldn't strike because the swing set was metal and she heard stories about kids getting zapped while swinging during lightning storms. So naturally me being a massive autist with no filter I blurted out "oh it's okay you can always make more if it happens" without thinking, and she promptly stares fucking daggers at me. I've never bolted away from a situation so fast in my whole life.

 

[Zach_Kun]

One time my sister came into my room crying and said that she dropped and killed our pet cat. I thought she was trying to prank me so I laughed and told her “Good one”.

Turns put she actually broke the cat’s neck. I miss that cat and I never forgave her, even tho my response was really bad...

 

[Midlife Sperglord]

When my parents discovered I owned a couple of tentacle hentai VHS tapes when I was in high school, I tried to weasel my way out of trouble by arguing that it was not pornography - it was avant- grade art.

That was a massively autistic argument, but it was the best excuse I could come up with at the time.

 

[NoFeline]

Oh boy middle school.

Before the debate about cultural appropriation was fleshed out my autistic ass tried to reach for a metaphor about [thing] wearing [thing it should not be wearing] and I grabbed "wolves wearing sheep's clothing". I immediately realized that was not what I meant to say but everyone took it as a Freudian slip.

Rumors spread fast in small schools. Nobody talked to me until I moved away.