What's the most autistic thing you've accidentally said in a conversation?

There's literally no way I can boil this down to just one item. If there is one gift God gave me, it is to horrifically offend people without ever realizing I have. I'm really just *that* fucking clueless. No matter what the social occasion, given enough time I will easily alienate half my audience. This is why I should never run for office.
 
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At a bonfire with 30+ people, a black guy I hardly knew asked me to look at his eyes to see if the smoke had made them red. Referring to the fact that I couldn't see his eyes, I loudly and thoughtlessly blurted out, "I cannot see you in the dark." Instantly, everyone in attendance turned to look at me with shock and anger, including the black guy. I (got kicked out) left after that.
 
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I tried to type out my most autistic thing and I literally do not have the strength.
Here's the second most autistic thing:
I was at my HS friend's wedding. She's Mormon and I'm not, so I couldn't go into the temple, but I did attend the reception and helped her family and thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was a beautiful reception in someone's backyard, very tastefully DIY.

The groom's father gets everyone together to give a small speech. Now, I'm the only non-Mormon. More showed up, but at this time, it's everyone who went to the official ceremony and me.
The father congratulates the young couple. He says, "Remember this love right now when times get hard. Because they will get hard; being married is hard. And it's going to be hard whether it's your first year or the next 10,000 years. "

I laughed but it wasn't a joke. Everyone else was nodding, stone faced. Mormons believe in eternal marriage. It was only one, "HA!", which I muffled and being outside helped deaden the noise. I just wasn't expecting him to say that. I am cringing right now aaaaAAAAAAAAh
 
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I accidentally said "good night" instead of "goodbye" at least five times I can think of.

This was on purpose but a long time ago I insulted someone by saying they watch porn.
 
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When I was 9, one of my friends had a girlfriend who he wanted to make a necklace for. My sister had one of those shitty make-your-own-necklace kits, so I made one for him to give to her. It was some kind of thick string with plastic charms and her name spelled out in letters.

I was there when he gave it to her. She seemed very surprised and happy by the gesture, until about 6 seconds later when I autistically blurted out "I MADE IT." I've never seen the joy drain from a person's face so quickly. Despite my friend's best efforts to salvage the situation (he told her he helped), I don't think she ever wore it.
 
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One of my high school friends invited me to hang out with her group one day and I'm pretty sure the second thing out of my mouth was asking if anyone was into hentai. I don't recall being invited back.
 
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Apoth42 said:
When I was 15 I went through an economic libertarian phase and sperged at my social studies teacher about the coming collapse of Venezuela based on stuff I saw in HowTheWorldWorks videos.
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Is it autistic to be correct?
 
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MerriedxReldnahc said:
One of my high school friends invited me to hang out with her group one day and I'm pretty sure the second thing out of my mouth was asking if anyone was into hentai. I don't recall being invited back.
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I can't stop laughing, any more deets on that slip up?
 
mrdk_04 said:
I can't stop laughing, any more deets on that slip up?
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To be fair the discussion was already on yaoi and someone had hard yaoi with them, so technically it wasn't a totally out of the blue topic. But it still was pretty un-tactful of me.:lol:
 
MerriedxReldnahc said:
To be fair the discussion was already on yaoi and someone had hard yaoi with them, so technically it wasn't a totally out of the blue topic. But it still was pretty un-tactful of me.:lol:
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What the fuck, feel free to PM me the whole story now. I'm legitimately curious.
 
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