What's your job on the leftist commune?

[MrTroll]

I'd be the Fonz. Even a socialist farming collective needs a Fonz.

 

[Meat Target]

Commissar, so I can hurt commies.

 

[gobbos]

Part of the bulldozing crew that tears it all down once they all get bored of it.

 

[Laburnum]

Professional speed runner, obviously

 

[JohnnyG]

Notice how not a single person in this screenshot talks about doing any manual labor for this hypothetical commune.

I saw one of these threads where a guy popped up saying how disillusioned and unmotivated he was with his urbanite email job, and how he'd volunteer for manual labour just to feel productive and be outside in nature. I felt bad for the guy, in a useful-idiot kinda way, like Boxer the horse in Animal Farm.

Of course all the uniform-designing, poetry-teaching, latte-art-making troons were immediately suspicious that he'd want to do anything physical, and dogpiled him for ableist chud-adjacent hate-terrisms.

 

[Broadside]

My job would be conquering warlord. I would raid the leftoid communes with ease because nobody wants to stand around on guard as their job.
A shame their women aren't worth the additions to my harem.

 

[Commander Kneewing]

Alcohol import-export. Alternatively, smuggler.

 

[ComStar]

I have industrial manufacturing experience, so it's off to the city and into a factory named after some long dead Bolshevik.

Depends, if I do two jobs does that make me a super-proletariat?

That makes you an udarnik! As a vanguard worker you inspire your comrades through socialist emulation. Keep it up and we will name our shock worker's brigade after you!

 

[YellowIsACoolColor]

I will provide Sudanese-inspired poetry for the commune.

 

[Swiss46]

Idk nothing important or anything, maybe just the guy who schedules all the meetings or something.

 

[The Crack Spiders Bitch]

Smuggling illicit goods into the commune at significant mark up.

 

[Mojo Thief]

The politically-connected nepobaby who plows into crowds of babushkas in my imported Mercedes G-Wagen, and never gets punished for it because my daddy is a member of the commune's politburo

 

[Red flaming panda]

Of course all the uniform-designing, poetry-teaching, latte-art-making troons were immediately suspicious that he'd want to do anything physical, and dogpiled him for ableist chud-adjacent hate-terrisms.

>Tranny are attacking people because they want to work
The absolute fucking state of commie larpers. Stalin would've had these people thrown into the Gulag.

 

[Mac Monster]

Noose inspector. Life in the commune won't be easy, and I want to ensure all the totally valid trans members have up-to-date equipment.

 

[JohnnyG]

>Tranny are attacking people because they want to work
The absolute fucking state of commie larpers. Stalin would've had these people thrown into the Gulag.

"We spent decades fighting the Soviet Union only to become a gay retarded version of it."

 

[Jhonson the Two]

I'll be a spy for the P.E.N.I.S (the Powerful Empire of Neo Industrial Singapour) and sell vital informations like where the alpacas were burried or the localisation of all the soy farms.

 

[Dicksmash Turbofist]

Grand commissar of the people's collective janitorial services.

 

[Bothriolepis]

It depends on the type of commune, I guess. If it's a voluntary association of hippies trying to develop a self-sufficient community, I would probably be put in charge of drafting propaganda. If it were a Soviet style "collective", then I would be doing some kind of healthcare work I wasn't really qualified for during the first few years, right up until the leadership needed a professional scapegoat to send on a one-way trip to either the Mountain States or Alaska.

 

[The Ugly One]

Definitely an ideological commissar, sniffing out and reporting counter-revolutionary elements, especially seemingly committed Communists who are definitely, totally involved in conspiracies.