Pay zero attention to "will this make me an outcast or a bigot?" If you let the pervert in, you will become an outcast and you will need to leave the group anyway.
Once one troon enters more follows until they take it over
Well, it depends on a lot of factors, but at this point I would probably leave any women-focused group that did activities if they were involved. But it’s hard to know, as lots of people RSVP, and some people can just show up, etc. Unless a tranny is very vocal in the chats surrounding the events, I wouldn’t know. Also if I’m not the leader of a group, I can’t do anything except leave.
I did try organizing a local gay social club with my lesbian friends, and it ended up filled with troons. It was not women-only though. We made it for LGBT people, but my personal motivations were just wanting more gay and lesbian friends. I’ve decided not to organize any social events with that club (they are welcome to form their own events using our sites). I was technically a founder, and helped set up pages for it, so what can I do except let them have their thing, and me do my own thing? It was inclusive from the start (since T is always attached to LGB). This was all pre-KF for me, so it’s something I am still figuring out how I should interact with.
I swear, a lot of women are more afraid of being called a bigot/transphobe than actually being raped. Do not be that woman.
I had a sort of “come to Jesus”moment last month, where a troon who I was friendly with who worked at the gym creeped on me in a locker room (it’s in my first post if you want to read it). I was putting myself at risk before, but now I am going out of my way to avoid them and put my safety first.
As others have said, it isn’t that simple. You have to be compliant with men in some scenarios or risk a violent outburst. Even with non troon men I wary, because I don’t know if they won’t stalk me and do something later.
Usually it’s just worth being uncomfortable around them for a moment to reduce risk of backlash in that moment or later.
Trust me, I’d love to be all fuck off to creeps, and I try to when I can, but you never know how people will react…
Also, people fear a lot the loss of their job or community, if they don't feel support of the other people. Even if it's a shit community, because some people there think men can become women, it might be the only one they have, and as proven on KF over and over again, they gonna go insane lengths to feel like belonging somewhere.
This is sort of the case for me. I am new to realizing this stuff is harmful so it will take a while to find others like me, and distance myself from people who are TRAs. Even then, as a gay woman, it’s almost impossible to avoid without outright becoming completely isolated. You have to be tolerant of it in some ways, or you find yourself without community and friends. But now that I know this trans stuff is harmful, and these men are living out perversions, I am able to be more discerning and can keep distance from them, even if we are in the same social settings, and take precautions to ensure I am not alone with them. I also don’t think every single one is an outright rapist.
In my social circle, we have a “gay” dude who always goes to events with my friends, but he’s dating a woman who is nonbinary, and sometimes he likes to wear a skirt, and I think he likes they/them pronouns (I have not complied and no one’s called me out yet). Do I think this guy is going to inappropriately touch me or rape me? No, but I’m still not going to encourage a one on one friendship or be alone with him, because I don’t trust that he won’t take liberties if he gets the chance. He’s just one of the group I hang out with at times. But there’s a chance someone else in the group could become a good friend, so I keep hanging with them.
Even with that gay social group I made with my friends, I’m hesitant to just up and leave it because it could connect me with more gays in my area who could become good friends with me.
That’s the struggle for LGB since we all got lumped together, even though sexuality and gender identity are not the same. But the reality is not black and white with how we respond to them in our spaces. I wish I could be like “no, not allowed” but I’d find myself more isolated, even when seeking out women-only spaces.
But they seemed very easy to scare off to not report what happened to them because they were afraid of being smeared as transphobes
Well I cannot call out what happened to me at my gym because I would be considered a transphobe most likely, and could face more backlash if they reach out to my job or use my address on file and stalk me. Risk is not worth it most of the time. Though I get what you are saying, in that we should be more vocal about trans and defend our spaces. And we should definitely report actual assaults or any inappropriate touching. Unfortunately a lot of the time it is not going to pan out the way you want.
