Which fictional characters would be lolcows?

The guy whose corpse is my current Halloween profile pic, Simon Laurent from Infinity Train. If you believe possible joke lore, he became a sociopath because he lost a spelling bee as a child.
This fucker killed a 6 year old girl and her foster mom simply because they were native residents of the train who didn’t have a number on their body. He was also about to kill his partner because she realized that the only way to get off the train is to make the number go down to zero, but he’s a sperg and thinks the goal is to have the highest number possible. It took a lightning strike to kill him.
 
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