Which lolcow would you want to see a redemption arc for?

[TheNazgulKing]

It’s an old one, but Candace Owens.

Even if she did make a doxing site that targeted minors online because they made shitposts online about her and her friend, she seems to really want to calm down and actually make a difference in her own life and community with wanting to make decent changes in how we view society.

Plus, I heard her recent documentary going against BLM was pretty good:

NGL, if Candace Owens showed up one night in my bedroom wearing colonial lingerie, she wouldn't have to work too hard to convince me to slap a powdered wig on my head and have her screaming "YES, MISTER JEFFERSON! YES, MISTER JEFFERSON!" until sunrise.

 

[Dr. Henry Armitage]

Spoony or CWC. I have a lot of nostalgia for 2008 Chris and wish there was some way he could redeem himself and go back to the loveable autist he was back then. Instead of this mother raping tranny horror show he has become. Spoony was really entertaining and I can't stand his constant self pity and downward spiral. He does nothing to try and fix his life then complains when nothing gets better.

 

[RainwaterDrop]

Honestly? Moviebob.

Step 1.) Get the fuck off the internet for a year.
Step 2.) Start reasonable diet and exercise.
Step 3.) Watch some Sonic and DC stuff, realize it's not so bad.
Step 4.) Get a normie, apolitical girlfriend.
Step 5.) Join a normie, apolitical DND group (or similar).
Step 6.) Although he decides he's a little too old to have kids himself, he starts showing up in more of his brother's photos, showing genuine joy at being a good role model for his niece and nephew.

Would be sweet to see Bob finally mature at 40 years old, but he's just like Chris Chan in the sense of never fucking learning from his mistakes. At least getting called out by the hotdog girl and mocked to shit by loads of people should have given him the opportunity to realize he fucked his life up and put some work on bettering himself. Alas, he hasn't. If anything he got worse since then, and it's quite sad considering Bob could be a normal guy and live a happy life as a manchild. His own brother is proof of that, to the point my only grip with the guy is with how he should be more focused on providing for his family instead of wanting to run all those podcasts and projects watched by no-one else!

If Bob matured, realized he is an asshole and worked his mind into becoming a more tolerant, accepting person, he would probably mellow away from his borderline fascist rhetoric and mature enough to become a grown man with a youthful spirit instead of a manbaby. There's nothing wrong with enjoying Superhero films, video games and the like at your 40's, but there's something really fucking wrong with being an asshole who won't stop raging at strangers on Twitter every fucking day and treating shit like the Console Wars as "his personal Vietnam", like he himself said!

As long as they haven't hurt kids, animals or done some other heinous thing like shoot up a Taco Bell, then I don't see why everyone can't get redemption.

To be redeemed, one must make an effort. Some cows are simply bad people by nature, people like Nick Fuentes won't be redeemed precisely because they enjoy being assholes and will only ever pretend to have changed. That being said, some cows do deserve a second chance, but many won't take it due to being too proud (or even narcissistic) to accept the fact that they need to change. The ones I actually sympathize with are the harmless eccentrics, guys that just want to indulge in their quirks and live their lives while not hurting anyone else. I don't think they deserve redemption, because they don't actually have to redeem themselves at all!

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

Would be sweet to see Bob finally mature at 40 years old, but he's just like Chris Chan in the sense of never fucking learning from his mistakes. At least getting called out by the hotdog girl and mocked to shit by loads of people should have given him the opportunity to realize he fucked his life up and put some work on bettering himself. Alas, he hasn't. If anything he got worse since then, and it's quite sad considering Bob could be a normal guy and live a happy life as a manchild. His own brother is proof of that, to the point my only grip with the guy is with how he should be more focused on providing for his family instead of wanting to run all those podcasts and projects watched by no-one else!

If Bob matured, realized he is an asshole and worked his mind into becoming a more tolerant, accepting person, he would probably mellow away from his borderline fascist rhetoric and mature enough to become a grown man with a youthful spirit instead of a manbaby. There's nothing wrong with enjoying Superhero films, video games and the like at your 40's, but there's something really fucking wrong with being an asshole who won't stop raging at strangers on Twitter every fucking day and treating shit like the Console Wars as "his personal Vietnam", like he himself said!

Oh yeah, don't get me wrong. I never said it was LIKELY. Just that I'd like to see it. I picked him for two reasons. One, there's a realistic path to redemption, if he chose to do it. Two, there's one thing with Bob where I feel... a strange mixture of pity and optimism. He seems to genuinely like and care about his brother's kids. And while it's not on the same level as being a good father, being a good uncle is a perfectly honorable thing to do with your life if you don't have kids of your own. I wish he would, because the pictures where he's with his niece and nephew (I think?) are the only time I've ever seen that tub of lard experience real joy. He's one of those rare cows where, very occasionally, you see a glimmer of a soul underneath all the lolbeef.

 

[Owls Owls Owls]

At this point, probably the only way to redeem Kindness would be locking her away in a loony bin, far from the internet.

I have a soft spot for Judy Valentine. She is too much of a smug cunt for someone so lacking in talent and cursed with a body as tragic as hers, but she's harmless. Even her cancellation was boring.

It just feels so tragic, seeing a 26yo ruin her body the way she has. I would truly be happy if she fucked off from the internet for a couple of years to go lose weight, get the skinny white boyfriend she so desperately wants and settle down in some boring data entry job. Just... stop being such a cow.

Rate she's going she'll die a virgin. Which she'd deserve, she's insufferable. But damnit I can dream of a better future for her.

 

[palmtreesalad]

Nickacado avocado lol. Won't ever happen but it would be nice

 

[RainwaterDrop]

I have a soft spot for Judy Valentine. She is too much of a smug cunt for someone so lacking in talent and cursed with a body as tragic as hers, but she's harmless. Even her cancellation was boring.

It just feels so tragic, seeing a 26yo ruin her body the way she has. I would truly be happy if she fucked off from the internet for a couple of years to go lose weight, get the skinny white boyfriend she so desperately wants and settle down in some boring data entry job. Just... stop being such a cow.

Rate she's going she'll die a virgin. Which she'd deserve, she's insufferable. But damnit I can dream of a better future for her.

Going by what you're saying, she kind of reminds me of one of the cows I talked about on the personal lolcows thread. Except she seems nicer, which isn't hard considering I talked about a genuinely awful person on that post. In short, I talked about a narcissistic landwhale that won't go a week without hating on thin people, being a complete asshole to everyone else and begging for gifts. I don't really have a soft spot for people like that precisely because their way out is much easier, all it would take is a healthy diet, exercise, getting a job and apologizing to the people they were assholes to. Not as hard as it would be for cows to get away from their past lives, sometimes you can't even recognize a landwhale from their former self once they finally lose weight lol!

Fuck, it's actually even easier if they just get surgery done and adopt a healthy lifestyle. I know a guy who did that, he wasn't an asshole but he was a cool fat guy that couldn't hold on a diet. He really needed to, so he went all in and went through surgery. It's a hard journey, but it pays off if you've got the discipline!

Oh yeah, don't get me wrong. I never said it was LIKELY. Just that I'd like to see it. I picked him for two reasons. One, there's a realistic path to redemption, if he chose to do it. Two, there's one thing with Bob where I feel... a strange mixture of pity and optimism. He seems to genuinely like and care about his brother's kids. And while it's not on the same level as being a good father, being a good uncle is a perfectly honorable thing to do with your life if you don't have kids of your own. I wish he would, because the pictures where he's with his niece and nephew (I think?) are the only time I've ever seen that tub of lard experience real joy. He's one of those rare cows where, very occasionally, you see a glimmer of a soul underneath all the lolbeef.

Worse people than Bob have their loved ones and their moments of kindness, people they care for and wouldn't hurt. Bob's Narcissism is what makes it so hard for him to break through, he hates himself (like all narcissists do) but his egotistical delusions are so strong he won't walk away from his flaws and put work onto becoming a better person, because it would mean he admitted defeat: He would have admitted he isn't the intellectual, the philosopher, the critic he says he is. Much easier to be miserable, much easier to be an asshole, than to be a good man!

Fuck, Bob could be happy. He burned plenty of bridges, but his family still loves him. That's a luxury plenty of cows don't have. He could simply log off or focus on his cinema work exclusively, and aim to be the best uncle he could be. Join his brother on a fitness regime, going outside on camping trips with his nephews, there are plenty of things that Bob could do without spending lots of money. If he redeemed himself, odds are he could at get a wife and adopt some kids or even have some of his own. Would be sweet!

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

I want to see one for Christian Weston Chandler.

 

[Narrowback]

Nickacado avocado lol. Won't ever happen but it would be nice

Fuck, man, if he just turned his channel into a weight loss channel and kind of a fitspiration thing he'd still rake in the views. Maybe not as good as before, but still

Wouldn't it be funny as fuck if he went missing for four or so years only to show up again ripped as fuck? He'd be fucking legend lol

 

[Overcast]

Pretty much all of them.

In particular, I kinda hope Wogglebuglover turns herself around. Especially considering she seems to be trying to go out with a very shady man who probably has really bad intentions for her.

And hey, I wouldn't mind seeing a good Wogglebug film.

 

[Windsock]

Onlyusemeblade or Blade for short

He's been drinking sugarry liquor for years , grifting dollars for shots and he looks like absolute shit , on the verge of losing his toe , cucked by some junkie , and he could care less or is in denial , I feel for the guy because he's got nothing else to turn to , so he keeps doing what he knows which is slowly killing him one jaiger shot at a time.

 

[lady stoneheart]

someone else said Luna and i agree. i read her thread sometimes but don’t comment because it’s sad. she’s just a retarded junkie, i know a lot of people on this site hate junkies, but i personally find that much less funny/bizarre than a tranny or a ralph. getting sober is not as hard as people make it out to be, it is possible, anyone can do it, even total smoothbrains. but there are no old junkies, especially not old retarded ones. so either she quits the dope, deletes tumblr(least likely), and leaves her freak boyfriend, or she dies, like, pretty soon.

 

[Vink]

I would be happy to see KingCobraJFS find an of-age, alive, consenting, cis-gendered, non-related (outside of 2nd cousins) girlfriend, stop drinking all the time, and get a part time job. This current arc of drinking every day and gender relations rants is just depressing and turning him into a right horrorcow.

 

[Cryptozoology]

PreciousLeaf. For various reasons.

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

I wish whole-heartly for two things for Abby Brown- That she permanently dumps Boss Hog and she finds a way to stop cycling so fast so she can have greater stability. There have been times where she's been so close to having functionality while still with that delightful Abby Brown flair, but then she gets back with Fat Ass or spirals into being emo and rapidly phase shifting again and it's really sad.

Even though she wouldn't be able to undo all of the damage to her body and I have no idea what she'd do for a real job, I'd like to see Saggy loose weight and make a go at not being a whore.

Ditto for King Cobra and not drinking.

but there are no old junkies, especially not old retarded ones. so either she quits the dope, deletes tumblr(least likely), and leaves her freak boyfriend, or she dies, like, pretty soon.

That was in the days before Nalaxone. She's going to be just like her mother but worse- a lifelong junkie who deals fent with Lurch and steals from local stores, watches gore for kicks, makes nudes for her nasty john that she admits she knows is into hurtcore, and posts her shitty narcissistic art.

 

[The Skeksis Emperor]

FilmBrain and Spoony, and April Lauren. All their problems in life are entirely fixable, and even relatively easily fixable. And none of them have done anything to really hurt anyone else.

 

[TokiBun]

It will never happen due to the fundie cult they’ve become obsessed with but I wish the Rods could get a grip and feed their fucking kids. All that’s left now is the children growing up, moving out, and figuring out the real world.

 

[Big up Liquid Richard]

PSA: incel terrorist internet forum Kiwifarms is once again taking advantage of mentally unwell and trans people.

On a serious note, Wings. If I had fucking rap albums made about my person, I'd rock that shit nonstop, count calories, count subs and count that cash, apologize to those wronged and blah blah blah. One can dream.

 

[Dirk Willems]

I hope every single lolcow in existence is fully redeemed, that way we can shut the site down and open a new one devoted to knitting instead of stalking and doxing the mentally ill. I propose the name "Knitting Farms" for this promised land.

If you're not agreeing with this, you need to look carefully at yourself.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Spoony. There is no reason for him to be miserable as he is, and he only needs to put forth a small amount of effort to become successful again.

Spoony always kind of hit hard because of how genuinely talented he was.

Spoony, *gets pelted with rotten fruit

Spoony was really entertaining and I can't stand his constant self pity and downward spiral. He does nothing to try and fix his life then complains when nothing gets better.

FilmBrain and Spoony, and April Lauren. All their problems in life are entirely fixable, and even relatively easily fixable. And none of them have done anything to really hurt anyone else.

You guys don't get it, do you? If you think that Spoony had some sort of "downfall", take a look at the rest of TGWTG. They have always been nobodies, they just ended up at the right place at the right time, but luckily it put everyone back on their places. They are just a bunch of losers, who had no will or abilities to grow beyond that shitty format of raging at some old media, Spoony just took his loser personality to the extreme.

But what never ceases to amaze me is "if only Spoony could make a comeback, he would be popular again." Heh, no, never, impossible, ain't happening. Things weren't waiting for him or any other TGWTG assclown, production values went further, comedy values too, since you can't just reee that this movie or game raped your childhood and expect to impress anyone. Hell, we have TGWTG prefix for this reason - they all are that bad. And if somehow Spoony will master the strength to shit out a video, it will be the same boring cringy shit he produced before, it would just fly under the radar and the strongest reaction would be "oh shit, he is still alive". No, it was never as good as you remember it, you just were young and impressionable and it's not going to work again.

Also, I can't bring myself to feel sorry for him. Anyone, who got crushed by some outside forces or got confused under the circumstances would be fine, but Spoony - no, he was a master of his "downfall". He refused to grow or change, he just got lucky that his fans were autistic even by TGWTG standards, that's why he still gets some cash on Patreon. Nevermind the fact that he's always found a way to shit on the most reasonable of them. Into the trash he goes.

On a serious note, Wings. If I had fucking rap albums made about my person, I'd rock that shit nonstop, count calories, count subs and count that cash, apologize to those wronged and blah blah blah. One can dream.

In the same vein as DSP, I'd love to see Wings of Redemption redeem himself. Not even just for the pun, I think he still has the slightest chance to salvage what's left of his life through weight loss and an extensive attitude change.

Yeah, a guy who admitted to watching CP on several occasions can "embrace the trolling" and turn his life around. Nevermind the fact, that he shat on people who genuinely cared about him more, than he shat on his trolls. Dying alone and fat would be a fitting end for him.