Why are dolphins so lame?

dolphins-fags.png
 
  • Winner
  • Agree
  • Semper Fidelis
Reactions: Maxliam, Bassomatic, Positron and 5 others
J A N D E K said:
Penguins are sexual deviants too. Like dolphins, the adorable little bastards practice both homosexual rape and child rape. The dirty, flightless birds don’t stop there though... they also practice necrophilia.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2012/jun/09/sex-depravity-penguins-scott-antarctic
Click to expand...
I completely forgot about that! There was also study on some young male seals that would force themselves onto other species' young when they were sexually frustrated. I guess the moral of all this is that all sea creatures are disgusting and should not be trusted near our lands.

https://nationalpost.com/news/canad...ng-seals-your-tell-all-guide-to-the-seal-hunt

Canada is truly doing us a service.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: J A N D E K
eldri said:
I first realized I was a Delphinic Zoophile when I was 12 years old, which is when I had my first sexual encounter with a dolphin. This is not that particular occasion, since my first lover was brutally killed in an act of sensless violence that I will never forgive, or forget. She continues to live in my memories, though…

I volunteer with dolphins whenever I get the opportunity. They are special to me, highly intelligent, empathic creatures that are dear to my heart, and are a healing aspect in my life. So it was that I met this particular dolphin, a female bottle nose dolphin, 7 years old, who is residing at my home cities coastal harbour/aquarium.

She is a beautiful dolphin, inquisitive and playful, and more used to human contact than her other, older pod mates. I answer any questions the general public have about dolphins, and spend most of my free time with them, studying and talking with them. I learned through continued contact that each dolphin has a very particular personality and habits, traits useful for differentiating between the fins who are sometimes hard to distinguish on visual markings alone.

In order to avoid the bustle tourists, I usually visit the dolphins at night, illegally I must add, since I am considered to be trespassing. But it is the only time I do not have to be distracted by tourists or the staff. I do not expect to have sex with the dolphins every time I visit them; I am not that sort of person. I spend time with them because they are a relaxing and stabilizing source of peace in an otherwise hectic and unbalanced lifestyle. So it came as a pleasant surprise when this 7-year-old dolphin began to engage in sex-play with me.

I was quite happily swimming around with the dolphins when she suddenly decided to grab my foot with her genital slit. Dolphins have very muscular vaginal orifices, and can use these muscles to manipulate objects and carry them. I stayed still for a while, to see if she was just playing, but she continued to masturbate against my foot, and in the light of the torch I sometimes carry, I could see that her slit had become very pink and had swelled as well. She was aroused!

So, I started to back-paddle with my hands towards a small beached area, partially submerged in the water. A couple of times she pulled me forward into the deeper water, but eventually I got my self to the shallows. I dislodged my foot (Being careful not to pull too hard), and took her gently by a pectoral fin and rubbed her belly just to aclimatize her, I guess. She immediately rolled belly up and started doing pelvic thrusts against the palm of my hand. It was unmistakebly erotic, and by now I was fully aroused.

I stripped off my shorts, and gently pulled her into the shallows until she was lying on her side, her belly facing towards me, half submerged in the water. I nestled myself belly to belly against her, and pressed my member against her genital slit. She immediately arched her body against mine, and took me inside her body, initiating a quick series of muscular contractions with her vaginal muscles. I wrapped my left arm around her body and just held her close while she manipulated me inside her body, until I climaxed barely 2 minutes later. Surprisingly, her body also shuddered against mine, and we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and revelling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done.

I do not brag about this though. It is not something you can brag about, since it not only is demeaning to the act, but it destroys the purpose of the act as well; to express affection, and trust. I only consent to those dolphins who ask. As a result, I have mated only three times. Each time was memorable and special, because each time it was something we both wanted to share with each other. Sex, for me, is just another, albeit powerful, expression of affection and trust. I wouldn’t engage any other animal, though; it is not my attraction. But there is little I wouldn’t do for a dolphin.

I am aware there are people who would look at this and turn away in disgust. I can not force my beliefs or my feelings upon them, neither do I wish to. The only thing I ask of those people is that they try to understand that love, and trust, and respect are not limited to within a single species. Human kind has created religions and laws and barbed-wire fences that have been created, written and erected out of the former belief that we are the best, the smartest, the most powerful creature on the planet. Now we are realising that we have been extremely short sighted; many of us are realising this, but there are others who are bound by their former beliefs. One word is the key to improving our civilization. One word which could improve many lives.
Click to expand...
You never wake up in the morning thinking, "This, THIS will be the day I read Dolphin erotica."
 
  • Feels
  • Winner
Reactions: PessimisticPanda and eldri
ProgKing of the North said:
They have big noses.

You know who else has big noses?
Click to expand...
niggers!

the autist of dojima said:
>they always mourn one of them
>they stay in tribes for all their lifes
>they never forget
>have long noses
>the rest of the animal kingdom doesnt like them
>hated by chinks and blacks but loved by white people
>their greatest ally to help keep them alive is america
Oy vey
Click to expand...
And they're from Africa which makes elephants trunk niggers. When I go to the zoo, I get really drunk and yell at the elephants to go back to africa. The people at the zoo are not happy to say the least.

PessimisticPanda said:
I completely forgot about that! There was also study on some young male seals that would force themselves onto other species' young when they were sexually frustrated. I guess the moral of all this is that all sea creatures are disgusting and should not be trusted near our lands.

https://nationalpost.com/news/canad...ng-seals-your-tell-all-guide-to-the-seal-hunt

Canada is truly doing us a service.
Click to expand...
Seals are trash mammals, everybody knows that!
 
Doc Cassidy said:
Rhinos are cooler because they have a huge horn so they can stomp the ground then run into people sending them flying! Dolphins are garbage what can they do other than swim around and eat fish?? Rape is pretty cool I guess but I can do that too so big deal! Dolphins are barely cooler than shrimp, maybe.
Click to expand...

You lie. Elephants are the coolest of all and you have bad taste in animals.

As for what dolphins can do- they can fight sharks and kill them.
 
  • Agree
  • Feels
  • DRINK!
Reactions: SparklyFetuses, Bassomatic and J A N D E K
eldri said:
I first realized I was a Delphinic Zoophile when I was 12 years old, which is when I had my first sexual encounter with a dolphin. This is not that particular occasion, since my first lover was brutally killed in an act of sensless violence that I will never forgive, or forget. She continues to live in my memories, though…

I volunteer with dolphins whenever I get the opportunity. They are special to me, highly intelligent, empathic creatures that are dear to my heart, and are a healing aspect in my life. So it was that I met this particular dolphin, a female bottle nose dolphin, 7 years old, who is residing at my home cities coastal harbour/aquarium.

She is a beautiful dolphin, inquisitive and playful, and more used to human contact than her other, older pod mates. I answer any questions the general public have about dolphins, and spend most of my free time with them, studying and talking with them. I learned through continued contact that each dolphin has a very particular personality and habits, traits useful for differentiating between the fins who are sometimes hard to distinguish on visual markings alone.

In order to avoid the bustle tourists, I usually visit the dolphins at night, illegally I must add, since I am considered to be trespassing. But it is the only time I do not have to be distracted by tourists or the staff. I do not expect to have sex with the dolphins every time I visit them; I am not that sort of person. I spend time with them because they are a relaxing and stabilizing source of peace in an otherwise hectic and unbalanced lifestyle. So it came as a pleasant surprise when this 7-year-old dolphin began to engage in sex-play with me.

I was quite happily swimming around with the dolphins when she suddenly decided to grab my foot with her genital slit. Dolphins have very muscular vaginal orifices, and can use these muscles to manipulate objects and carry them. I stayed still for a while, to see if she was just playing, but she continued to masturbate against my foot, and in the light of the torch I sometimes carry, I could see that her slit had become very pink and had swelled as well. She was aroused!

So, I started to back-paddle with my hands towards a small beached area, partially submerged in the water. A couple of times she pulled me forward into the deeper water, but eventually I got my self to the shallows. I dislodged my foot (Being careful not to pull too hard), and took her gently by a pectoral fin and rubbed her belly just to aclimatize her, I guess. She immediately rolled belly up and started doing pelvic thrusts against the palm of my hand. It was unmistakebly erotic, and by now I was fully aroused.

I stripped off my shorts, and gently pulled her into the shallows until she was lying on her side, her belly facing towards me, half submerged in the water. I nestled myself belly to belly against her, and pressed my member against her genital slit. She immediately arched her body against mine, and took me inside her body, initiating a quick series of muscular contractions with her vaginal muscles. I wrapped my left arm around her body and just held her close while she manipulated me inside her body, until I climaxed barely 2 minutes later. Surprisingly, her body also shuddered against mine, and we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and revelling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done.

I do not brag about this though. It is not something you can brag about, since it not only is demeaning to the act, but it destroys the purpose of the act as well; to express affection, and trust. I only consent to those dolphins who ask. As a result, I have mated only three times. Each time was memorable and special, because each time it was something we both wanted to share with each other. Sex, for me, is just another, albeit powerful, expression of affection and trust. I wouldn’t engage any other animal, though; it is not my attraction. But there is little I wouldn’t do for a dolphin.

I am aware there are people who would look at this and turn away in disgust. I can not force my beliefs or my feelings upon them, neither do I wish to. The only thing I ask of those people is that they try to understand that love, and trust, and respect are not limited to within a single species. Human kind has created religions and laws and barbed-wire fences that have been created, written and erected out of the former belief that we are the best, the smartest, the most powerful creature on the planet. Now we are realising that we have been extremely short sighted; many of us are realising this, but there are others who are bound by their former beliefs. One word is the key to improving our civilization. One word which could improve many lives.
Click to expand...

Mcafee would be proud
 
  • Informative
Reactions: Bassomatic and eldri
Oscar Wildean said:
You lie. Elephants are the coolest of all and you have bad taste in animals.

As for what dolphins can do- they can fight sharks and kill them.
Click to expand...
It's sport for them.

They rape and kill more divers than sharks but at same time known for saving lives.

Weird ass flipper faggots.
 
  • DRINK!
Reactions: J A N D E K
Bassomatic said:
It's sport for them.

They rape and kill more divers than sharks but at same time known for saving lives.

Weird ass flipper faggots.
Click to expand...

You only hear the stories about dolphins saving people when they live.

You never hear the stories about the dudes who got drowned while a gang of dolphins ass raped them.
 
  • Informative
  • Feels
Reactions: SparklyFetuses, Coldgrip, J A N D E K and 2 others
If dolphins are so smart how come they don't live on land?

Seriously, next time you see a dolphin look it right in the eyes and punch it in it's lying mouth. It deserves it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back