Why are millennials marrying later and fucking less?

[Ido]

Yeah kids are pricey but so is forever alone so is a private nurse. Imagine having a hard day at work then coming home and ya lil kid runs in and gives you some goofy drawing of you they made at school. Prob worth all the money they cost for that.

I mean little moments are cool and all but that can't take away the dread that is paying for child care/ schooling.

 

[Tasty Tatty]

The real reason is because they're boring and awful people.

I'm not even being sarcastic.

 

[Vorhtbame]

So what I'm gathering from this thread, outside of genuinely good reasons like "I've got serious issues that I need to settle first" or "I haven't met a good partner yet":

1. "I'm afraid of bad things happening to me."
2. "I would rather spend my limited money on myself."
3. "Cats. Many sizes, many colors. It's easier than dealing with people. Millions of ugly feminists can't be wrong!"
4. "I don't do anything if success isn't guaranteed."
5. "Responsibility sucks. I can't be bothered. YOLO."
6. "I'm sure I can wait until my life finally catches up to the goalposts on casters I'm running after."

Are you sure you're Americans?

Lest you accuse me of being "Mad on the Internet" that people aren't breeding, it's not that. It's the entire attitude of giving up, accepting that this is your lot in life, forgetting that you are an American, damn it; the world is yours to an unprecedented degree. You live better and are more sovereign than kings of old, and you see yourself as a serf.

Despite what your parents and your teachers and that aristocrat you voted for last year told you, you're not stupid, you're not hopeless, and you're not helpless. Maybe things will go sideways on you and maybe they won't, but as much bitching as millennials do, I'm not sure the lives they live now are any better than if something bad happens. Find out what you need to do to get what you want, and then do that; and if you succeed or fail, if you marry or you don't, if you have kids or you don't, at least you didn't give up on yourself (though I'll bet some quality soul will find your confidence and good attitude irresistible; energy attracts energy).

God, it breaks my heart to see an entire generation, with so much power and privilege, just quit before you even have a chance to start.

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

For all of you who think men don't have a biological clock and that having kids at a later age is okay, I have some bad news for you. Although we first discovered that age-of-mother is a factor in many diseases and disorders, we've since gone back and looked at age-of-father and found the same link. This might come as a shocker, but it turns out that men are not in fact magical, that their genetic and biological materials decay as they age just like women's do, and it isn't a good idea for either sex to be having kids late in life.

 

[Ido]

We're all autistic here anyways so why does it matter if women have babies later? More lolcows and Kiwi Farmers so win win.

 

[QWXXP Surprise!]

We're all autistic here anyways so why does it matter if women have babies later? More lolcows and Kiwi Farmers so win win.

This is also a good point.

 

[Mewtwo_Rain]

Do you really think having kids in your 30s is a new thing? How exceptional can you get? What's new is having your first child at 30+, yes, but it was absolutely standard for women in the past to have kids well into their early 40s. The starting at 21, ending at 27 baby-boom child bearing thing is historically abnormal and only exists due to birth control. Have you never even looked at your own family tree?

My uncle's daughter was born when he was 65 (his wife was around 38 ). I think this is terribly irresponsible and unfair to his daughter. Just because men can have kids past 45 doesn't mean they should.

Most of my family had children before their 30's. The exception is the men in my family as I already explained.

To be precise my great grandmother gave birth to four children by the time she was around 28. (when the 4th child my grandmother the youngest) was born.

My grandmother gave birth to my mother and her brother by the time she was 25.

My own mother gave birth to me by the time she was 15 (although she's a rare exception and was a bit of a slut.) and my other siblings were born by the time she was 26.

Although it may be a new trend in comparison to the past, with new found knowledge we should be taking actions that are better and not regressive of sorts. Unless we just like having a bunch of exceptional individuals running around. I mean it's a new found thing where men aren't working themselves to death in factories, and sure them not working at all isn't a good counter answer but often the best way to handle these situations is by looking to a happy medium. Unless we just want to follow in the past's set of actions for eternity?

Edit: In regards to men, I wasn't implying that they should merely that some men might make that argument that by the time they are 40-50 they'd have saved up money to have a family in today's economic conditions.

 

[Ido]

Although it may be a new trend in comparison to the past, with new found knowledge we should be taking actions that are better and not regressive of sorts. Unless we just like having a bunch of exceptional individuals running around.

With how hands off this generation is chances are there are going to be a lot of exceptional individuals running around, doesn't matter the age. people are letting their kids grow up with tablets and shit, everyone has ADD, autism or anxiety. I can see exactly where one of my relatives failed to raise her last kid, her others are all socialized and out going, then she just stopped caring with the youngest and gave him gta's and shit at like 5 so he'd shut up. Talks like a seven year old and always hides in his room. Overexposure to this is damaging and a lot of people just want a tv baby sitter because this generation is lazy.

 

[Mewtwo_Rain]

With how hands off this generation is chances are there are going to be a lot of exceptional individuals running around, doesn't matter the age. people are letting their kids grow up with tablets and shit, everyone has ADD, autism or anxiety. I can see exactly where one of my relatives failed to raise her last kid, her others are all socialized and out going, then she just stopped caring with the youngest and gave him gta's and shit at like 5 so he'd shut up. Talks like a seven year old and always hides in his room. Overexposure to this is damaging and a lot of people just want a tv baby sitter because this generation is lazy.

I won't deny that's an issue, but that's more of not only the children themselves but their parents are lazy losers as well, with no understanding of responsibility. I don't want to be like my grandfather who has worked his entire life to the point his spinal cord is disolving but like I mentioned there is a fine line.


Though in regards to ADD/etc. The problem is not that kids have it, it is again a failing of the parents. I have advanced ADHD/ADD/ODD/ODHD (as does my sister) but then again I learned to control it or get my shit smacked down.

I'm not even sure there is a fix for what's currently going on with society in that regard though.

 

[softsleeper]

I think it has a lot to do with our social / cultural changes that's created unfortunate disadvantages for young people than our previous generations. Granted, each person is different and lifestyles do vary between people, so I don't think it's merit for alarm just yet. Millennials are still having plenty of babies and people are getting married, albeit a little older than the norm. You don't even have to have a huge wedding to tie a knot, especially if you're on a budget. Plus, it helps if the couple makes a combined income to stay afloat with bills and have a good portion left over for any other necessities (food, emergencies, vacations, college funds, ect.). Plus, being married gives you tax breaks doesn't it? I'm sure it varies from country to country.

Babies are a huge responsibility (mentally, phisically and financially), but people have to stop acting like a kid is going to be the thing that ends their dreams. Sure, they're certainly not for everyone and I understand if you just don't want em'. Fine, you do you. But Millennials need to understand that a having a child is not something to be afraid of or dread conceiving. I've worked with plenty of children (young and teenage) in a volunteering program and had a relatively positive experience. I'd be lying if I said there weren't a few demons mixed into the bunch, but you have to be patient with them. If you raise them with care, attention and security, they'll turn out fine.

If anything, I think a large portion of Millennials just need a good 'push' in the right direction with counselling (professional preferably) to give them a decent forecast of what lies ahead. Confidence boosters, aiming for higher positions, being prepared for worst case scenarios. I'm thankful that I have family to at least have my back in those regards, personally. Makes me feel like I can control my life a bit better than doing it alone.

 

[mindlessobserver]

Women being told they need careers and not children, and men being told talking to women is sexual harassment and they need to not do that.


edit
It's really not hard to understand. So many walls of texts explaining the glaring obvious. Gonna throw in consequence free sex as a cause too. Women can afford to be both promiscuous and discriminatory. Having sex used to be high risk because he usually had a wife. If you got pregnant you were literally and figuratively fucked. But thanks to the magic of science you can have all your rights and none of your responsibilities.

There are a ton of broken incentives these days and there will be consequences.

Would you like to know more?

 

[Tasty Tatty]

God, it breaks my heart to see an entire generation, with so much power and privilege, just quit before you even have a chance to start.

A lot of people who screech about "traditional marriages" only get the "men/women" part and not everything else that was involved.

First, your marraige didn't just involved you and your partner: the whole family was involved. Both families, actually.

Second, because people married young, they kinda grew together. They learned to tolerate each other because they were still becoming adults.

People now want to marry out of selfishness (which ain't necessarily bad) and at an age in which they're unable to adapt to living to another person. Also, millenials live in a bubble adn many are spoiled. They can't even s hare with their siblings or classmates, imagine sharing your life with a partner. It's not that they don't want, they can't.

 

[wrangled tard]

*The statistics I cite are for America. Things are worse or better depending on where you go, but it's a global issue among developed, first-world countries.

For real, it's an issue. You hear about this stuff most commonly in Japan but it's happening everywhere among developed countries that birth rates are stagnating or falling.
Today in America, the average age millennials get married at is about 28 and the birth rate has plateaued at 1.8 children per woman, as opposed to about 20-25 and about 3 through the 60s and 70s. 28, as you'll notice, is bordering on being really fucking late to be having children, which isn't good for anyone involved.

Millennials are less romantic, less committed, and less family-oriented than any generation on record--but studies show that this isn't making anyone any happier. In fact, reported feelings of loneliness and displeasure are at a high (40% among people aged 18-26). Loneliness, it is said, is an epidemic.
But if you looked outside in the past 20-30 years you'll know that the "American Dream" touted by mainstream [mostly feminist] activists was to be as promiscuous as possible, have tons of cheap sex, travel the world, and settle down later (or never), but the people actually doing this are fucking miserable.

Why is it that young people are en masse "going their own way"? Is it because rates of autism are on the rise? Is it the daddy issues? Is it the internet's fault for making young wo/men into hikikomori? Was sexual liberation not all it's cracked up to be?

If you say "it's because muh economy makes it cost literally one gorillion dolllars per year to raise a child", you're an NPC with an art history degree and don't know shit.

Gay people are also a lot more common now. People are less willing to have kids and more willing to suck dick.

 

[Mewtwo_Rain]

A lot of people who screech about "traditional marriages" only get the "men/women" part and not everything else that was involved.

First, your marraige didn't just involved you and your partner: the whole family was involved. Both families, actually.

Second, because people married young, they kinda grew together. They learned to tolerate each other because they were still becoming adults.

People now want to marry out of selfishness (which ain't necessarily bad) and at an age in which they're unable to adapt to living to another person. Also, millenials live in a bubble adn many are spoiled. They can't even s hare with their siblings or classmates, imagine sharing your life with a partner. It's not that they don't want, they can't.

That I think is another issue all together. Families are no longer unified often broken apart, welfare hasn't helped with this, and other issues within families. It does raise a good point though.

Though when it comes to marriage/kids. Too many these days only do it for a status symbol. I'd argue it's pretty bad because they want the children/optics of marriage, they just don't want the responsibility of taking care of the children/responsibilities of marriage. Kind of reminds me those guys who wear VA shirts, but never actually attend or participate in VA events. They sure want the optics for wearing the shirts but want no responsibility or to have to participate in helping actual veterans. Just in this case you can't wear children like a shirt, so they're an after thought.

 

[Firefilly1996@DA]

I don't know a ton about the statistics of why, but as an older (barely a millennial) I think it is due to a change in social norms. In a sense, it is very hard to find the right person because morality and trust are uncommon nowadays. There is also the worry of increased domestic violence, poverty and overall worry something may go wrong. People are more focused on self and success in the workplace then they are in building lifelong relationships with their mate. There is way less dedication to the true meaning of marriage and many see it as an "old person" thing. Most would rather shack up instead of dedicating themselves or their property to another person, again due to lack of trust. I think gender identity disease also play a role. ( different can of beans not getting into that.) People want to experience the "perfect" life their parents had, but don't realize that the world is way less safe then their folks had it. I do not think it is a chemical imbalance so much as it is a reaction to the skewd social norms that are now presented to us. Social media has also taken over the role of social interactions. People will "date" long distance online and only hear a person's voice or see a photo over the internet. It is not the same kind of love that is felt in a physical relationship. It is a shallow shell comparable to dating an AI simulation. We have lost the ability to understand social cues fully and romantic gestures.

 

[nagant 1895]

A lack of trust, i think it might really be that simple. I've had three relationships reach the settle down together phase but I just can't bring myself to trust the opposite sex and they don't have much reason to trust me either. Our society lacks the legal and social structures that held marriages together and people accountable.

 

[Overcast]

I seem to recall somebody saying on here (or somewhere else) that this kind of phenomena is partially due to living in a fully developed society with a massive amount of people. Back in the old days, when countries like America were still developing and expanding, it wasn't uncommon for people to have lots of kids due to need for labor and due to short life expectancies.

With the US and other major countries covered across the world with massive cities and health care and technology that makes us live longer, there really isn't as big a need for mass baby making. The human population has grown exponentially over the past century, and the decline of marriage and making of families seems to be a natural response to that. If we kept going the way we did back then, we'd run out of natural resources.

...

Or it could just be autism. Who knows?

 

[The Fifth Waltz]

Honestly I'm just glad people are making the decision of not having kids if you can't afford it. I grew up dirt poor and I wouldn't want someone else having that.

 

[Firefilly1996@DA]

I seem to recall somebody saying on here (or somewhere else) that this kind of phenomena is partially due to living in a fully developed society with a massive amount of people. Back in the old days, when countries like America were still developing and expanding, it wasn't uncommon for people to have lots of kids due to need for labor and due to short life expectancies.

With the US and other major countries covered across the continent with massive cities and health care and technology that makes us live longer, there really isn't as big a need for mass baby making. The human population has grown exponentially over the past century, and the decline of marriage and making of families seems to be a natural response to that. If we kept going the way we did back then, we'd run out of natural resources.

...

Or it could just be autism. Who knows?

It is quite possible that there is a natural lack of space. Though I am not sure if this is the case personally. It does make sense though. Social norms could be changed by a lack of space, resources, etc. Doubtful it is actually due to autism. XD but I think I get your sarcasm there. Your reasoning is much like fish breeding. Fish will only breed and lay eggs if the environment is right. This includes the right temperature, food, and space. Without these things, fish feel stressed and do not produce as well. This could also be said about humans, though as higher mammals, I would think this would be less of a matter of space and more to do with thinking and planning for children and possible consequences of marriage and sex as well as affordability.

 

[Bootylicious Bootyhole]

Well, as someone who doesn't plan to breed or marry, I can't really say anything beyond the fact that I simply have never desired to before, and the realization that even if I DID want to, I would be so piss poor at it that it would just be a wasted effort on my behalf.

As for fucking less? Well, me and my rolodex of 52 sexual partners would beg to differ.