Why are millennials marrying later and fucking less?

[JektheDumbass]

Everyone I know around my age or younger have "special needs" kids. Every. Single. One. I don't know if there was something in the water or what, but I'm tired of all my friends having tard babies and I'm afraid my seed is likewise tainted. Sure, it's selfish but I don't want to wipe an adult retard's ass when I'm 70.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

identity politics + shitty economy + easy divorce + mechanistic isolating society

 

[The best and greatest]

Millennials are just a shit generation. About as bad as baby boomers.

I’ve been at different levels and statuses in my life. I’ve been a minimum wage wageslave to making six figures with yuge and bigly bonuses and guess what? Talking to my peers in the various categories, the excuses change but the outcome is the same. They can’t act like adults for reasons. Having a kid is too expensive but owning a Tesla and flying first class to Hawaii apparently is affordable.

It’s probably the first generation that’s never been asked to take responsibility for anything in their lives. No responsibilities means just aimlessly drifting through life. I don’t care if that is all they aspire to be but these excuses are so paper thin considering there are billions of people who are dirt poor yet somehow manages to fuck and have kids anyway.

Technically both of those activities you've listed are free and require no upfront investment on your part. We only think otherwise because we like having mother and child survive the birthing process reliably.

 

[The best and greatest]

Marrying later? Be happy they're marrying at all. Fucking less? Who has the time to romance and fuck anymore? Pick a porn site, apply physical stimulus, done, now back to more important things.

The Buddhists know how this goes. The more we abandon our animalistic ways and the more enlightened and civilized we become the more dispassionate and beyond base instinctual responses we become as well.

 

[Antipathy]

The Buddhists know how this goes. The more we abandon our animalistic ways and the more enlightened and civilized we become the more dispassionate and beyond base instinctual responses we become as well.

Wait a minute, is this all a fucking Buddhist plot? Declining birthrates, people spending much of their time in solitude... hmm...


Damn, they're good.

 

[Guts Gets Some]

I believe it is in part brought on by that whole free love bs of the 60's. Now a days I feel people would rather dump someone then work through their issues. Or they think if I just date someone else for sure this time its gonna be perfect and we are gonna be in love forever uwu, but that shit doesn't happen. If you love someone for a long time it changes no it won't be butterflies, but its a wonderful thing to share your life with someone and there are ways to keep the spark alive, but cheating on someone or getting a divorce because you supposedly don't love someone anymore is asinine. I feel people jump into relationships in order to make themselves happy without really getting to know that person and end up letting themselves down when that person doesn't meet their expectations. I feel as though the best thing would be to get to know that person slowly before deciding can we be together long term and do I actually enjoy their company and not just superficial shit like looks or are we compatible sexually. This is not to say you shouldn't have standards, but that if you are going to have them embody them yourself i.e being a learned individual, healthy, hobbies, social life and stable living situation that you don't lie about. Also learn to be happy alone first because I see people use relationships to make themselves happy, but they end up realizing they are still not happy and it goes a lot deeper than just not having companionship.

God, does this hit me hard. Especially the first bit about how it's always easier these days to just up and drop someone than work things out.

Honestly.... that upsets me. More than I can explain. Even when you think you find someone who's finally different, sure enough, they always find a way to let you down and prove you wrong.
If you truly love somebody, you can and should work out anything with them. If you can't with them, then you can't with anyone else. A relationship is not a one-sided shortcut to pleasure or comfort; it's a true equal and intimate connection to someone, that requires serious commitment and most of all, a serious want and passion to do so. If one approaches it with that kind of indifference that you're okay with just letting someone go, or having it end, and NOT fixing it, then it was already flawed at the core.


You're very well spoken; I only hope you too haven't had to experience this firsthand to learn it, though. It's definitely not fun.

 

[ApatheticViewer]

This pretty much sums everything up

 

[Sīn the Moon Daddy]

I guess this is a primarily American thing, since here lots of people marry in their early twenties.

Hell, I married at 19.

I'm working on my first marriage and I'm past 30. Things picked up all of a sudden lol

Marrying later? Be happy they're marrying at all. Fucking less? Who has the time to romance and fuck anymore? Pick a porn site, apply physical stimulus, done, now back to more important things.

Mm! Dirty talk like that always gets me. Apply stimulus bby

Beep beep boop

 

[Basil II]

This has also lead to the divorce rate of millennials to decline because we’re marrying for love and waiting.

lmao come back in 15 years and tell us how it goes.

 

[Pokemonquistador]

I am shocked, SHOCKED! That no one has mentioned the John Calhoun Mouse Utopia Experiment yet.

What happened was that Calhoun, a scientist, made a heaven on Earth for rats. It had everything, food, water, housing. But it was in an enclosed space, and once the rats had reached a certain population, they no longer had the space they needed to stake out territories or engage in normal social behavior. Some of the male rats turned on each other while others disengaged from society and behaved like rat hikikomori. Female rats forgot how to raise children and within a short amount of time, the colony developed a condition called "behavioral sink" and collapsed. Every time the Mouse Utopia Experiment was done, it ended the same way - with every mouse dying. This concerned scientists who thought the same thing could happen to humans if politics and economic forces crammed them all into cities. However, there hasn't been a mass die-off of humans yet, and scientists are pretty sure that humans, being slightly smarter than rats, won't follow the rat path to destruction.


Mice only lacked ONE resource they needed to reproduce - the space to stake out their own territories. That fact eventually caused their collapse. People today have plenty of space to mill around (and most millenials can afford a flophouse apartment for themselves,) but to have kids and raise them well, humans need a lot of resources they just aren't getting anymore - a large private space of their very own, a job with a respectable salary (or two jobs, depending on where one lives,) enough money to pay someone to take care of the childrearing duties (or to allow one parent to stay at home with the kids,) and the societal status that comes (or at least used to come) with being a parent. It doesn't help that we live in a society where having kids is seen as a money sink/ drudge work by both men and women. Or as a way to suck away money and time that they could have spent on themselves and their cool, flashy hobbies.

Still, after watching video commentary after video commentary about the Mice Utopia, I really didn't think humans would stand for societies that treated them like mice in cubicles, or that people would willingly emulate the conditions of the mice utopia all by themselves, but then, I didn't figure on a little island nation called Japan...

 

[Chichan]

God, does this hit me hard. Especially the first bit about how it's always easier these days to just up and drop someone than work things out.

Honestly.... that upsets me. More than I can explain. Even when you think you find someone who's finally different, sure enough, they always find a way to let you down and prove you wrong.
If you truly love somebody, you can and should work out anything with them. If you can't with them, then you can't with anyone else. A relationship is not a one-sided shortcut to pleasure or comfort; it's a true equal and intimate connection to someone, that requires serious commitment and most of all, a serious want and passion to do so. If one approaches it with that kind of indifference that you're okay with just letting someone go, or having it end, and NOT fixing it, then it was already flawed at the core.


You're very well spoken; I only hope you too haven't had to experience this firsthand to learn it, though. It's definitely not fun.

Spoiler: TL'DS sort of powerlevel

I have TL'DS version date people in your own age range i.e. 4 year gap at most so you can both grow together, make sure you really know that person i.e background check anyone you want to bring into your life. I know back in the 1950's it was a more trusting society and people got to know others organically, but in a time where you can do background checks it makes it so you can protect your heart and you won't waste your health/time. Also don't get into an online long distance relationship they don't work. Jealousy will tear at you inadequacy will be your company and if you met on social media and that person has a flirty personality you will be disappointed because there is a slew of other people out there far more attractive and will inevitably be smarter and have more in common with that person at their finger tips. Its especially annoying when they play it off as a joke or just say its a part of their personality I fucking hate capricious people. Balance your time well because you could lose yourself and others around you i.e distance makes the heart grow fonder and its healthy(I practically never left my room). Make sure you engage in your hobbies and not text that person twenty four seven you will be better for it. Make sure you are healthy and the person you are dating is healthy(No people who qualify for my 400/600lb life if they can't take care of themselves how are they gonna take care of a family). Be established already and don't lie about your job or about having one. Means no living with parents or lying about being in a relationship with someone already(see background check). If you have to lie about the relationship or keep it secret odds are its probably not gonna last long or its already flawed from the get go. Lastly men and women cannot be friends unless they really don't feel a fuckin thing for that person because generally what happens is someone either has an unrequited love and they get friendzoned or they do end up together, but end up breaking up and its hurt feelings all around.

 

[The best and greatest]

I am shocked, SHOCKED! That no one has mentioned the John Calhoun Mouse Utopia Experiment yet.

What happened was that Calhoun, a scientist, made a heaven on Earth for rats. It had everything, food, water, housing. But it was in an enclosed space, and once the rats had reached a certain population, they no longer had the space they needed to stake out territories or engage in normal social behavior. Some of the male rats turned on each other while others disengaged from society and behaved like rat hikikomori. Female rats forgot how to raise children and within a short amount of time, the colony developed a condition called "behavioral sink" and collapsed. Every time the Mouse Utopia Experiment was done, it ended the same way - with every mouse dying. This concerned scientists who thought the same thing could happen to humans if politics and economic forces crammed them all into cities. However, there hasn't been a mass die-off of humans yet, and scientists are pretty sure that humans, being slightly smarter than rats, won't follow the rat path to destruction.


Mice only lacked ONE resource they needed to reproduce - the space to stake out their own territories. That fact eventually caused their collapse. People today have plenty of space to mill around (and most millenials can afford a flophouse apartment for themselves,) but to have kids and raise them well, humans need a lot of resources they just aren't getting anymore - a large private space of their very own, a job with a respectable salary (or two jobs, depending on where one lives,) enough money to pay someone to take care of the childrearing duties (or to allow one parent to stay at home with the kids,) and the societal status that comes (or at least used to come) with being a parent. It doesn't help that we live in a society where having kids is seen as a money sink/ drudge work by both men and women. Or as a way to suck away money and time that they could have spent on themselves and their cool, flashy hobbies.

Still, after watching video commentary after video commentary about the Mice Utopia, I really didn't think humans would stand for societies that treated them like mice in cubicles, or that people would willingly emulate the conditions of the mice utopia all by themselves, but then, I didn't figure on a little island nation called Japan...

While the mouse experiments are most thought provoking I'm leery of attempting to draw parallels between those experiments and the sum whole of human society. Generally speaking humans have way more ways of occupying time not spent meeting our basic needs. One might argue things like acting and sports are motivated by the rise of civilization. Since people can meet their basic needs without working literally all day every day all that spare time needs to be occupied so we don't go crazy. Ultimately we should remember, mice are animals, not civilized human beings. Human beings can survive well enough without having territory explicitly owned by themselves.

 

[rabbitgay]

Tbh I think a lot of young women want kids but fear becoming a single mother. Both raising children and being able to afford them is easier with both parents in the picture.

I also think there's a growing phenomena of young people expecting to find a "soul mate" where they can't settle down until they find the perfect person with whom they have fairy tale chemistry with, never have any conflict with, always have mindblowing sex, everything is sunshine and rainbows 24/7, and anything less is settling.

Which isn't how relationships work, no matter how well you get along. I think younger people have a super skewed idea of how good relationships actually look in real life, which consists of less romantic stuff like being able to have disagreements without causing tension, understanding that sometimes sex isn't gonna happen for one reason or another, coming to terms that there will always be something about your partner that you don't like and that's okay because they are human and so are you, and a whole lot of other stuff that probably involves being able to live together without tearing eachother apart.

Relationships do require work and effective communication, it's not always going to come super easily, but it's worth it in the end because you care about eachother.

 

[Sprig of Parsley]

Tbh I think a lot of young women want kids but fear becoming a single mother. Both raising children and being able to afford them is easier with both parents in the picture.

I also think there's a growing phenomena of young people expecting to find a "soul mate" where they can't settle down until they find the perfect person with whom they have fairy tale chemistry with, never have any conflict with, always have mindblowing sex, everything is sunshine and rainbows 24/7, and anything less is settling.

Which isn't how relationships work, no matter how well you get along. I think younger people have a super skewed idea of how good relationships actually look in real life, which consists of less romantic stuff like being able to have disagreements without causing tension, understanding that sometimes sex isn't gonna happen for one reason or another, coming to terms that there will always be something about your partner that you don't like and that's okay because they are human and so are you, and a whole lot of other stuff that probably involves being able to live together without tearing eachother apart.

Relationships do require work and effective communication, it's not always going to come super easily, but it's worth it in the end because you care about eachother.

It really needs to be reiterated with a lot of people that any time someone outside your relationship tells you things like "you can do better" or "why are you settling", they should be politely thanked for their input and be told to sod off. Down that road misery lies. I don't care what their motives are, the road to hell is paved with the best of intentions. You should be able to recognize some basic red flags before you get deep into the relationship game, and if YOU are getting bad vibes of any sort YOU need to take appropriate action. Unless you're a full-on battered spouse or something similar, third-party intervention is grossly inappropriate.

This weird phenomenon of relationships being some sort of audience-participation-mandatory form of entertainment makes my fucking skin crawl.

 

[Inquisitor_BadAss]

I’m gonna put a lot of blame on consumerism and dating apps. Why work on a relationship when you can have instant gratification by wasting cash on some gadget which will be obsolete next year?

Why bother trying to work out issues with your boyfriend when you can just swipe right on tinder, talk with that guy for a week while getting a free meal and repeating the process.

Instant gratification and lacking the will to problem solve also people just aren’t as close with each other as they used to be. A little less then a decade ago you actually had to ask people on dates face to face or go out with friends to meet new people.

 

[NimertiS]

Because we're neurotic, catatonic or broke.I can't have a normal relationship with a guy.
Has money? He's distant and workaholic.
Has no money? He'll mooch of his parents,living with them in his late 30s or just being a basement dweller.
Also, I see even when people have the funds to get marry they'll get a furry babeh and they're not gonna breed because, children are yucky nowadays or because of "tokophobia".
Everything sucks

 

[Guts Gets Some]

Spoiler: TL'DS sort of powerlevel

I have TL'DS version date people in your own age range i.e. 4 year gap at most so you can both grow together, make sure you really know that person i.e background check anyone you want to bring into your life. I know back in the 1950's it was a more trusting society and people got to know others organically, but in a time where you can do background checks it makes it so you can protect your heart and you won't waste your health/time. Also don't get into an online long distance relationship they don't work. Jealousy will tear at you inadequacy will be your company and if you met on social media and that person has a flirty personality you will be disappointed because there is a slew of other people out there far more attractive and will inevitably be smarter and have more in common with that person at their finger tips. Its especially annoying when they play it off as a joke or just say its a part of their personality I fucking hate capricious people. Balance your time well because you could lose yourself and others around you i.e distance makes the heart grow fonder and its healthy(I practically never left my room). Make sure you engage in your hobbies and not text that person twenty four seven you will be better for it. Make sure you are healthy and the person you are dating is healthy(No people who qualify for my 400/600lb life if they can't take care of themselves how are they gonna take care of a family). Be established already and don't lie about your job or about having one. Means no living with parents or lying about being in a relationship with someone already(see background check). If you have to lie about the relationship or keep it secret odds are its probably not gonna last long or its already flawed from the get go. Lastly men and women cannot be friends unless they really don't feel a fuckin thing for that person because generally what happens is someone either has an unrequited love and they get friendzoned or they do end up together, but end up breaking up and its hurt feelings all around.

It's sad you have to give this as advice, when it only seems common sense to me.

But I will have to disagree about never doing online or long-distance. I think it requires certain kind of people to really work; those that are dedicated and truly can see or respect someone just the same as if they were before them in person or just online.
That, and every other little bit of advice; IE, don't lie and be open about yourself and feelings, even if you are miles apart; that's how any good relationship starts; long distance or not.

 

[Chichan]

It's sad you have to give this as advice, when it only seems common sense to me.

But I will have to disagree about never doing online or long-distance. I think it requires certain kind of people to really work; those that are dedicated and truly can see or respect someone just the same as if they were before them in person or just online.
That, and every other little bit of advice; IE, don't lie and be open about yourself and feelings, even if you are miles apart; that's how any good relationship starts; long distance or not.

Its nothing to be sad over I did it to myself I was naive and went feet first instead of head and instead of severing the relationship like I should have the first time I had a gut feeling what I was doing was wrong I tried to be friends, but that last line about men and woman being friends is very pertinent to this case. Also long distance its more so those people are the exception to the rule not that it still isn't applicable to everybody else. They make you depressed because all you have is a phone. You can't touch them and even if you could the other things I mentioned made all of that null and void.

 

[Ruin]

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Wut?

 

[Sprig of Parsley]

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yes hello also what the blueberry fuckmuffin