Disaster Why Are So Many Americans Choosing to Not Have Children? - It’s probably not selfishness, experts say. Even young adults who want children see an increasing number of obstacles.


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Researchers say that societal factors — like rising child care costs, unaffordable housing and slipping optimism about the future — have made it harder to raise children in the United States.

By Teddy Rosenbluth
Published July 31, 2024

For years, some conservatives have framed the declining fertility rate of the United States as an example of eroding family values, a moral catastrophe in slow motion.

JD Vance, the Republican vice-presidential nominee, recently came under fire for saying in 2021 that the nation was run by “childless cat ladies” who “hate normal Americans for choosing family over these ridiculous D.C. and New York status games.”

Last year, Ashley St. Clair, a Fox News commentator, described childless Americans this way: “They just want to pursue pleasure and drinking all night and going to Beyoncé concerts. It’s this pursuit of self-pleasure in replace of fulfillment and having a family.”

Researchers who study trends in reproductive health see a more nuanced picture. The decision to forgo having children is most likely not a sign that Americans are becoming more hedonistic, they say. For one thing, fertility rates are declining throughout the developed world.

Rather, it indicates that larger societal factors — such as rising child care costs, increasingly expensive housing and slipping optimism about the future — have made it feel more untenable to raise children in the United States.

“I don’t see it as a lack of a commitment to family,” said Mary Brinton, a sociologist who studies low fertility rates at Harvard. “I think the issues are very much on the societal level and the policy level.”

To some extent, experts like Dr. Brinton share the concern that Americans are having less children.

Fertility rates have been generally falling in the United States since the end of the baby boom in the mid-1960s. That decline accelerated after 2008, a trend that has been widely attributed to the Great Recession, said Kenneth Johnson, a demographer at the University of New Hampshire.

Everybody thought, maybe they’ll just delay having their babies for a few years, and then they’ll make up for it when the economy and the country gets back on its feet,” he said. “It never happened.”

Last year, the total fertility rate dipped to 1,616.5 births per 1,000 women, a historic low that is far less than the rate needed to maintain the population size, 2,100 births per 1,000 women.

A recent survey by the Pew Research Center found that a growing number of adults said they were unlikely to ever have children. Even before the Covid-19 pandemic, nearly half of U.S. counties reported more deaths than births.

In addition, the average age at which Americans are marrying and starting to have children has increased, most likely contributing to the fertility decline. In 2023, the median age of women who were marrying for the first time was 28 — about six years older than in the 1980s.

The average age when women give birth to their first child has also risen substantially, from age 20 during the baby boom to 27 in 2022.

Immigration to the United States helps offset population loss. Yet experts fear that shrinking generations could cause schools to close, economic development to stall and social programs like Social Security to run an even larger deficit.

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JD Vance, the Republican vice-presidential nominee, has proposed tax breaks and more voting power for parents. But experts say there is little evidence to suggest that policies rewarding people for having children are successful on their own.

Notably, studies of the reasons behind the fertility decline don’t reveal a dramatic shift in the desire to have children.

Many Americans in their teens and 20s still report that they want two children, said Sarah Hayford, the director of the Institute for Population Research at Ohio State University. The fact that many of those adults don’t realize those goals probably means that external factors are making it more difficult to be a parent, she said.

Survey data suggests that many young adults want to hit certain economic milestones before having children — they might want to buy a house, pay off student debt or comfortably afford child care, said Karen Benjamin Guzzo, a family demographer at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

Reaching those milestones has become increasingly difficult, she said, as mortgage rates have risen sharply and child care costs have soared.

As fewer women opt to stay home to raise children, the absence of policies that support working families — like paid maternity leave and stable child care — may also be leading couples to believe they’re not prepared to be parents, Dr. Guzzo added.

The decision to have children, which she views as the “ultimate vote of confidence” in the future, may also be affected by how optimistic people are about the state of the world, she said.

A study by sociologists in the Netherlands found that people who said they thought the future generation’s prospects were “much worse than today” were less likely to become parents.

Right now, there are plenty of reasons young Americans might be pessimistic, Dr. Guzzo said, including climate change, frequent gun violence and the recent pandemic.

This might explain why fertility rates have been declining in most developed countries — not just in the United States — despite differences in their economic systems and social welfare policies.

“It’s not about being selfish and saying, ‘I’m not having kids because I want to sleep in all the time,’” Dr. Guzzo said. “When fertility rates are down, to me, that’s because people don’t feel like they have a future that they feel confident in.”

If there has been any shift in attitudes toward parenthood, Dr. Hayford of Ohio State said she believed that younger Americans were now more focused on whether they could offer a child “the best experience possible.”

In interviews she conducted with teenagers and adults in their early 20s, Dr. Hayford said, they often stressed the importance of improving their own patience and anger management to ensure they would be able to one day support their children’s emotional needs.

And some research suggests that younger generations have a higher bar for the amount of money required to raise a child.

Having children is something that people feel like they can make a choice about,” Dr. Hayford said. “They are really reluctant to enter into parenthood if they can’t provide what they think children need.”

Exactly how to change the trajectory of a so-called baby bust is still a mystery. Last year, former President Donald J. Trump floated the idea of offering a “baby bonus” to incentivize more families to have children.

“I want a baby boom!” he told a crowd of supporters. “You men are so lucky out there.”

Mr. Vance, his running mate, has advocated tax breaks for households with children and even an altered election system in which parents would have more voting power than people without children.

There is little evidence to suggest that policies designed to reward people for having children are successful on their own, Dr. Guzzo said. Governments in some countries have tried to increase fertility rates with cash incentives, tax breaks and generous parental leave, yielding modest or no success.

Since declining fertility is the result of a range of societal problems, Dr. Guzzo said, legislation that addresses broader issues — like student loans, unaffordable housing and parental leave — is more likely to spur change.

“In our view, every policy is a family policy,” she said.

A correction was made on Aug. 1, 2024: An earlier version of this article misstated the total fertility rate in 2023 and the replacement rate. The figures are 1.6 and 2.1 births per woman, not per 1,000 women.
 
The artificial womb, beloved of troons and child traffickers, will allow children to be commissioned and sold like products. Children are not products. Every child needs a mother and a father. They are not a right. They are not something it should be possible to buy. Artificial wombs will usher in a field day for people wanting to buy children to abuse, slaves, organs to harvest etc. It’s a horrible idea.
Who needs them when you have surrogates or women who willingly mince their unborn babies up and troon their kids out?
Artificial wombs are autistic as hell but we already live in the dystopian nightmare you're thinking of.
 
Who needs them when you have surrogates or women who willingly mince their unborn babies up and troon their kids out?
Artificial wombs are autistic as hell but we already live in the dystopian nightmare you're thinking of.
We arent quite there yet, although you’re right that surrogacy is hellish.

I don’t understand, just a quality private school in most areas is $7000-$12000 a year.
Per kid.
Then don’t send them. Mine don’t go to private school. If we could afford it I would but we can’t, so they don’t. The school I went to as a kid was appallingly bad. I look back in amazement but at the time it felt normal
Winners keep on winning cool, but add in martial arts and swimming lessons and dance/gymnastics amd tutoring and other sports for cost.
You don’t have to do any of that stuff though, it’s not compulsory. It’s upper middle class helicoptering. Let them be bored and find their own games. You don’t have to do any of the expensive shit with them. You can get second hand clothes. You can go camping for holidays or just chill at home with a few days trips and walks and stuff,
when was the last time your neighbor did anything good for you?
I’m lucky in that my neighbours are decent people and we water each others gardens, feed pets etc while they’re on holidays. The more rural you are the better this is IME. Never had it in cities

It boils down to this: if you want kids, have them. There’s a never a good time, you’ve never got enough money, but you’ll manage. If you don’t like kids, don’t have them. The majority of people are neither rags level poor or private school level rich. There will be hand me downs and second hand stuff and camping holidays and things you can’t do. None of that matters really. Yes it’s nice to grow up rich I’m sure but the kids of the privileged seem to fuck up at much the same frequency as those of the rest of us. Your kids won’t look back and be pissed they didn’t get to attend Fettes and go to Zermatt skiing. They will remember camping in the back garden and the day at the beach and watching the boat lift work.
Mine remember the smallest daftest stuff that they did and enjoyed. It’s always really random stuff that makes memories. We aren’t rich. Be lovely if we were but we aren’t. Don’t wait or worry about that stuff.
Better a dinner of herbs where love is than a stalled ox and hatred within.” What matters bringing kids up is having a happy, safe and stable household.
 
You could say it's feminism. You could say it's the economy. You could say it's climate doomerism. You could say it's a rise in narcissistic navel-gazing aided by social media.

But I still have a suspicion humans in developed, wealthy countries are reacting to some environmental and/or social signal that triggers an instinctive "subroutine" that says, "ease up on the reproduction."

It might be just the result of existing in a state of plenty. When we were animals, having an extreme wealth of resources in one place could be dangerous because we might overpopulate to our detriment. Not that evolution cares if extra people come into existence and then go on to starve. But overpopulation would be a threat to existing creatures and their genes (because of the extra competition), so wouldn't it make sense for there to be some evolutionary programming that says, "stop fucking?" Couldn't that be an explanation for the drop in intimate relationships between men and women in the Western world, that men and women are creatures who naturally won't tend to function harmoniously in times of extreme plenty?

I don't know. But, once again, I suspect it could be related to the Rat Utopia experiments. It doesn't change my disgust at societies that see a train wrecking in slow motion and, to a man and woman, everyone says, "Well, I'm not changing anything about the way I live."
 
Because people don't grow up until they're thirty. Beginning in our teen years, we're told having kids will ruin your life and getting married in your twenties is the single dumbest decision anyone can make. Your twenties are for having fun (meaning sex with strangers), not for starting adulthood. You're not mature enough to have a kid until you're 35, anyway!

Shitting out kids and not having the money to properly care for them is third-world behavior, my man. Some people actually want their kids to be comfortable and not have to struggle like they did. Stop being an insufferable cunt.

If you help a butterfly out of its cocoon so that it is spared the suffering of struggle, its wings will not develop, and it will die.

The claim that all children prior to the modern era were raised improperly and unable to become functioning adults is vitiated by the simple observation that those children raised in what had been unthinkable plenty in prior centuries are the most incapable, useless adults to have ever walked the Earth, to the point they are sterilizing themselves and ending their evolutionary branches.
 
In regards to private school- genuinely surprised that people aren’t considering the pozzed as fuck public schooling that’s everywhere nowadays.
Getting them into a private faith based school, now THAT’S how you avoid LGBT grooming techniques.
And Ashad saying that women are stupid and dogs are ugly.

Maybe the way we live is just different, most all of their friends are also in multiple extracurriculars.
And I promise, the kids are still being kids and enjoying being kids.

There’s a huge difference between helicopter parent and giving them what you may not have had in childhood.
 
If it's the cost aspect and people really want kids perhaps they should go ahead and have them since the future is always uncertain and the "perfect" moment to have children may never actually materialize.
This is the exact point of Idiocracy. Smart people let perfect be the enemy of good enough when it comes to kids.
I don’t understand, just a quality private school in most areas is $7000-$12000 a year.
Per kid.

Winners keep on winning cool, but add in martial arts and swimming lessons and dance/gymnastics amd tutoring and other sports for cost.
Kids will manage without that. They have for thousands of years.
 
Imagine coming to the Farms and finding out your kid has a thread there. Those thoughts keep me awake at night.
can't be worse than your kids coming to the farms and finding your thread.

We are less than ten years away from lolcow spawn shitting up their parent's thread (or, given the yin/yang of life, epically posting absolute amazing receipts).
 
My kid wasn't planned and we objectively didn't have the money for it. By all rights we were fucked. The only thing that saved us was the local religious community, great support from grandparents, and stepping up.

Westerners tend not to have a religious community anymore due to increasing rates of secularism and that absolutely destroys the ability of young parents to cope. When my wife gave birth, we had free meals for a month from my religious community, they offered us free baby stuff from a community sharing organization (the word gemach doesn't translate nicely into English) with the expectation we return it, and the older women in the congregation fell in love with my son to the point where they would urge us to leave him with them so we could have nights alone.

Westerners also believe in a nuclear family that's often isolated from grandparents other than occasional visits, I have no idea how people function like this. Grandparents are your greatest resource to draw from and they lovingly allow themselves to be exploited. My wife's father went from a mean old man to the sweetest guy who loves spoiling his grandson.

Finances absolutely matter but at the same time, money isn't real behind a point. You need to care about it for essential stuff but people waste tons of money on things like cars, restaurants, etc. Caleb Hammer has tons of examples. If you lock down, work hard, and don't waste money on that stuff you'll likely have enough money. I took some horrible second jobs and gigs but it was all worth it. It can even have side benefits, I learned to love cooking because I needed to save money.

As an aside because I didn't need to do this but there's no shame in government assistance. Why would you not take advantage of the taxes you pay?

Hesitation to have kids in the West is because of the lack of religious support network, lack of close family bonds in terms of assistance, and the urge to spend money on garbage short term pleasures. I wanted a Tesla for a long time but I had to learn that in my situation, a Tesla is liability and a cheap Honda is far better.

Women also don't spend enough time with kids and are taught to fear pregnancy as the worst thing that can happen to them. There's an interesting study I came across:


From 2003 to 2006, Australian researchers followed girls ages 13 to 15 at 57 different schools. One group of 1,267 girls participated in the six-day Virtual Infant Parenting (VIP) program, which includes the infant simulator, while another 1,567 girls got the standard health education curriculum without an infant simulator. The researchers linked the school data to data from hospital records and abortion clinics, and followed the girls until they reached the age of 20. They found that 8 percent of girls who used the dolls had at least one birth, compared to only 4 percent of the girls in the other group. The researchers also found 9 percent of the girls who used the dolls had abortions, compared to 6 percent of the control group. After adjustment for potential confounders, the intervention group was 36 percent more likely to become pregnant than the control group. The study was published Thursday in the Lancet.


Infant simulators encourage teen pregnancy because they simulate what it's like to have a baby and young women realize they can handle it.

Another thing I noticed is that in secular culture, young women and girls don't really interact with babies that much. We give them dolls and allow them to work off assumptions like baby is crying, baby needs to sleep, baby is hungry because they're going off their own experience but they never actually interact with a baby. This contrasts with my religious community where young women and girls have a more realistic view of what having a baby is like because of having a lot of siblings. It was an absolute shock to me when I was spending time with my friend and his 3 year old daughter started play nursing her baby doll. I had never seen that before and I asked her why she didn't give the doll a bottle, she said that her mommy feeds her 3 month old brother like that so it's the right way to do it.

Long post so tldr:

4 things stopping it

Lack of religious community (or any community where children are normative)
Lack of family nearby
Lack of willingness to give luxury
Teaching women to fear pregnancy and having almost no experience with babies in the real world
 
Hesitation to have kids in the West is because of the lack of religious support network, lack of close family bonds in terms of assistance, and the urge to spend money on garbage short term pleasures. I wanted a Tesla for a long time but I had to learn that in my situation, a Tesla is liability and a cheap Honda is far better.
I agree with this, even down to the Tesla. One of the young engineers on my team talked about how unaffordable it was to raise a family and the moment he got a promotion he immediately got a Tesla and moved to a trendier neighborhood. Most of the complaints about cost are just an excuse. My parents never made more than $20/hr combined and raised a couple of kids just fine. Now that I have a fourth on the way, you see just how bullshit the excuses are but having a good social network is definitely key.
 
Westerners tend not to have a religious community anymore due to increasing rates of secularism and that absolutely destroys the ability of young parents to cope. When my wife gave birth, we had free meals for a month from my religious community, they offered us free baby stuff from a community sharing organization (the word gemach doesn't translate nicely into English) with the expectation we return it, and the older women in the congregation fell in love with my son to the point where they would urge us to leave him with them so we could have nights alone.
Which keeps the congregation alive, keeps people in the group, and mores more parishioners. It's smart.

Westerners also believe in a nuclear family that's often isolated from grandparents other than occasional visits, I have no idea how people function like this.
They don't.

Grandparents are your greatest resource to draw from and they lovingly allow themselves to be exploited.
They don't always.
The following are things I've experienced/seen firsthand. None of them are more than two steps away from people I know personally.
  • Grandparents offering money to abort the grandchild
  • Grandparents moving away from their child as soon as a grandchild is born
  • Grandparents moving away as soon as their child was married
  • Parents of adults suddenly and mysteriously falling ill and needing care themselves at the exact age when their children would be having children
  • Grandparents refusing to give any money whatsoever to the parents and instead spending it on fun retirement activities
  • Grandparents living far away refusing to come to their children and grandchildren on any vacations and saying the children have to come to them
  • Grandparents coming to visit their children/grandchildren and expecting to be waited-on/treated like guests in a hotel (including expecting children to bring them breakfast in bed during their visit, I shit you not.)

As an aside because I didn't need to do this but there's no shame in government assistance. Why would you not take advantage of the taxes you pay?
Pride is one thing, but there's also the difficulty in getting that assistance. People really are not kidding when they talk here (and even places like /pol/) about how it's more difficult to get help if you're considered a "privileged" class.

Also the welfare cliff is real
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You can’t have children without a woman. Women birth children. If women are too revolting to you to shack up for life and breed with then you don’t get to have kids.
That's why you get into a based and save-the-white-race-pilled gay relationship and have a poor slav woman as a surrogate. Even better, enslave women and put them in breeding facilities. The trannies would even go for the latter.
As the Great Nick Fuentes once said, "sex with women is gay".
 
Your kids won’t look back and be pissed they didn’t get to attend Fettes and go to Zermatt skiing.
The single most miserable holiday of my adult life terminated in Zermatt. I had a week off work to recover afterwards. Anyone who wants to go there is definitely not going with me.
 
All industrialized societies have experienced plummeting birthrates. It's cost of living. Period. All industrialized societies experience an exponential rise in cost of living. As the cost of living rises people have less kids. It happened to the US, it happened to Great Britain, China, it's happening in India right now (both India and China are notorious for lying about their population data by the way).

If you look at the countries with the "highest" birthrates according to worldometers a lot of them are places where it is physically impossible to gauge the birthrate. The Congo has been in a state of civil war since at least 1996; it has the 2nd highest birthrate. Afghanistan has 15th-16th highest birthrate and the US was at war in the country for 20 years. Syria has a birthrate greater than the US and Syria has been at war for the last 12 years.

Population data about countries at war gets even worse when you consider death tolls. War causes ancillary deaths from disease and starvation. Someone smarter than me will do a better write up eventually. Suffice it to say anytime you read population data take it with a block of salt because lying about population data is something a lot of countries do to appear healthier than they really are.

Also articles like this are regularly pushed by globalists like the NY Times to build support for mass migration. . . .
 
This would Ironically give lower-income blacks and Hispanics disproportionate voting power lol
Maybe white people should quit being idiots then. More children already comes with more voting power due to numbers, assuming they grow up with your beliefs more often than not.

But no, the people who have it all figured out would rather capitulate to the system that hates them.
 
Maybe white people should quit being idiots then. More children already comes with more voting power due to numbers, assuming they grow up with your beliefs more often than not.

But no, the people who have it all figured out would rather capitulate to the system that hates them.
White people can't out-breed hispanic immigration. It'd be like expecting Japan to just import 2% of its population every year from India and thinking young Japanese should just stop working and shit out a kid every year instead of ending said immigration.
Regardless, at the end of the day, the lack of children comes from the death of the "sexual middle class". People are getting fatter and broker than ever, but the average woman isn't becoming more willing to have kids with fatter, broker men. And I don't blame them, but either the birth rates continue declining or everyone has to start settling. Your first kid might not have a back yard to play in. Or your second or you guys live with grandpa until you're 30-something, etc. You have this situation where guys are being told to aim lower (with people they don't want to have as mothers to their kids) and girls are being told to aim higher (with guys who have better options) and average is refusing to meet eye to eye on the prospect of settling down.
 
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