Why would the user above you get sent to federal prison?

[AnOminous]

walking to work, caught in the middle of race riot with headphones in, arrested for inciting violence/assault of a police officer

Hacking Trump's cell phone and posting his nudes.

 

[sbm1990]

Hacking Trump's cell phone and posting his nudes.

Impersonating John Goodman for VIP tickets to shows.

 

[ICametoLurk]

Got a soda refill without paying for it.

 

[RI 360]

Granted the president of the Philippines amnesty in their sovereign citizen apartment after he burned the UN down.

 

[cypocryphy]

She's a rapist and doxxxxxxer.

 

[TiggerNits]

Trying to free another man's slaves

 

[SaladV]

Running a child sex ring with a multitude of family men from around the neighborhood

 

[ICametoLurk]

Committing Robot Bestiality at an Army Base.

 

[Pina Colada]

Not lurking for the minimum amount of 8 years.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Making the worst pun ever.

 

[Gym Leader Elesa]

Being gay in the aftermath of Pence's ascension to Godhood.

 

[ES 148]

Knew a man that knew a man that knew a man, and that man was Kim Jong-Un.

 

[TiggerNits]

Obtaining proof that Amelia Earhart was actually Dale Earnhardt in drag

The problem being the proof is actually written in invisible ink on the gettysburg address, and he has to steal it, but gets caught.

Also, abuse of a corpse, because he got aroused when he got near all them war graves

 

[Pina Colada]

For illegally putting tigers in the U.S. Army's tanks.

 

[Trombonista]

Rule 34 became illegal.

 

[HY 140]

possession of Lolicon

 

[Ntwadumela]

Got arrested for skating while drunk on LA's highways

 

[BILLY MAYS]

Jaywalking

 

[RI 360]

cyber raping a tranny

 

[Cthulu]

cyber raping a tranny

Stalking trump and raping him