🐱 Witches are trying to organize a 'mass hexing' against the Taliban

Witches are trying to organize a 'mass hexing' against the Taliban

A popular subreddit dedicated to witchcraft is currently debating whether it would be useful to carry out a mass-hexing against the Taliban.

www.dailydot.com

A popular subreddit dedicated to witchcraft is currently debating whether it would be useful to carry out a mass-hexing against the Taliban.

Following the militant group’s swift takeover of Afghanistan this week, self-described witches on Reddit’s r/witchcraft forum began concocting plans to battle the Taliban with the use of “magick.”

In a post to the subreddit’s more than 254,000 members on Monday, one user attempted to rally all available witches to take on the militant group.

“I’m looking to organize a max heading [sic] of the Taliban forces in Afghanistan right now,” the user wrote. “Nothing has been put together yet and I’m looking for people who are wiser than I in this sorts of magick. I just want as many forces as possible working against them as we can muster up.”

The post quickly led to widespread debate over the usefulness of such a venture, with one user warning in a separate post that the Taliban could respond with “incantations and rituals of their own.”

“The Taliban as horrible as they have shown themselves to be, are very spiritually aware and they routinely take steps to dispel, ward off and weaken magick. They have incantations and rituals of their own which can at the very least neutralize us – at worst can cause damage to our spirtual [sic] selves (perhaps through some sort of hex blowback).”

The second user appeared to further argue that spells from Westerners may fall short given the magical history of Asian cultures, which could deflect even the most “complex and time-consuming rituals.”

“I find bewitching evil movements very spiritually draining and I’ve gotten sick due to blowback on occasions – I just want y’all to be careful as these people are not exactly normies when it comes witchcraft,” the user adds.

Others even claimed that a mass-hexing could result in catastrophe, suggesting that the group’s last mass-hex led to the coronavirus pandemic.

“Last time y’all wanted a mass hex we got a pandemic,” one user wrote.

Overall, the campaign does not appear to be that popular. A subreddit dedicated to the effort at r/BetwitchTheTaliban has only garnered 114 members as of Wednesday afternoon. A Discord channel has also been set up to prepare witches for the planned hexing.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

"Foolish pagan harlots have no power over alah's devout followers" -Some dude in the middle east, probably before beheading someone.


These fuckers think they can literally slay GOD HIMSELF via astral projecting? They do realize Allah is literally just the arabic word for god, right? like as in THE god? Big guy in the sky? Yeah good luck killing him lmao thats how you get floods and plagues.

We're talking about this:

but so much lamer.

 

[melcarba99]

Suddenly Chris Chan doesnt seem so crazy (not taking into account the mother fucking). Also, hardened warriors who have spent their entire lives in war and resisted the USSR, ISIS and the USA vs soccer moms with fake crystalss in a spiritual battle, I wonder who would win

 

[NyQuilninja]

So a gayer version of a renaissance fair?

 

[idosometimes]

The taliban took over a country that had received billions in funding from the US government and whose security forces were trained by the US military. Sure sounds like they will be no match for "witches" waving magic crystals and shaking their girl[peepees] at them. Biden should have enlisted these broads before everything went to heck.

This is probably the most western privileged nonsense to come out of this. These people have so few hardships in their lives that they can pretend to be Harry Potter and take on the actual issues others have with magic spells.

 

[Death Grip]

Well they still use blood in a ritualistic fashion in lots of Muslim countries. Can't see western witches managing to rival that.
Also how many adherents does Islam have compared to 'wicca' or the modern satanic Church?
I imagine the ratio is at least five to one, at the minimum.

 

[Male Idiot]

Well they still use blood in a ritualistic fashion in lots of Muslim countries. Can't see western witches managing to rival that.
Also how many adherents does Islam have compared to 'wicca' or the modern satanic Church?
I imagine the ratio is at least five to one, at the minimum.

You are propably off by a few zeroes. Muslims are 1.9 billion, viccas at best a few million.

Even if it goes to Cartman style "nyeh nyeh nyeh" psychic duel, I'm afraid Allah got the firepower needed.

Saudi woman executed for 'witchcraft and sorcery'

A Saudi woman has been executed for practising "witchcraft and sorcery", the country's interior ministry says

www.bbc.com

Witches also get executed so I doubt it will amount to much in the real world either.

 

[Alter Ego]

Reminder that "witches" are simply women who are desperately seeking to fill their spiritual emptiness with paganism after they thought it'd be cool to shit on Christianity like all of their peers do.

 

[Troonologist PhD]

 

[Crex Crex]

Harry Potter and the prisoner of Afghanistan

 

[mario if smoke weed]

It's not going well.View attachment 2462581

Maybe they just need to stop being little bitches and send in a Level 100 witch with Allah immunity or something dumb, really use their imaginations.
Or distract allah with an astrally-projected goat to fuck?

 

[XANA]

Is this the same group of weirdos who crowed and patted themselves on the back that they managed to kick the orange man out of office after combinng their powers for a "super duper huge hex guys, it's totally gonna work?"

Reminder that "witches" are simply women who are desperately seeking to fill their spiritual emptiness with paganism after they thought it'd be cool to shit on Christianity like all of their peers do.

I imagine this breed of "witches" to be in the same vein as the people who started paganism in the first place - bored white women who either want to be edgy or use it as a sort of game you pull out and do with the family on game nights. Both of them don't even bother to worship actual pagan gods and just play with their crystals and shit. I think the only difference betwen the new and old is that these new "witches" are stupidly obsessed with Harry Potter and use it as a foundation for their beliefs.

 

[A-Stump]

Harry Potter and the Escape from Taliban

 

[deso2y]

It's not going well.View attachment 2462581

Hexbros....We got too cocky

 

[Knight of the Rope]

“The Taliban as horrible as they have shown themselves to be, are very spiritually aware and they routinely take steps to dispel, ward off and weaken magick. They have incantations and rituals of their own which can at the very least neutralize us – at worst can cause damage to our spirtual [sic] selves (perhaps through some sort of hex blowback).”

Jesus Christ these bitches are embarrassing. It's one thing to pretend you're waging imaginary spiritual battle against people you don't like, but at least win your fictitious make-believe battles.

 

[Linako 2.0]

Jesus Christ these bitches are embarrassing. It's one thing to pretend you're waging imaginary spiritual battle against people you don't like, but at least win your fictitious make-believe battles.

Allah is so powerful and mighty that even in white women imaginary sessions he easily wins because deep down women know their place.
Inshallah my nigga

 

[kcbbq]

It can't be any less effective than Biden has been, so I guess it's worth a try.

 

[Atatata]

Magic isn't real but the idea that there are super powerful Taliban wizards is pretty funny.

 

[Dysnomia]

self-described witches on Reddit’s r/witchcraft forum

So ugly fat chicks into astrology and crystals. Gotcha!

The second user appeared to further argue that spells from Westerners may fall short given the magical history of Asian cultures, which could deflect even the most “complex and time-consuming rituals.”

Fetishization of Asian cultures as mystical and exotic. How racist of you.

“I find bewitching evil movements very spiritually draining and I’ve gotten sick due to blowback on occasions – I just want y’all to be careful as these people are not exactly normies when it comes witchcraft,” the user adds.

And here I though the Taliban conquered Afghanistan with weapons and overwhelming manpower. Silly me. They were Hogwarts graduates all along.

I supposed these "witches" think anyone who causes them a little grief is an evil witch spiritually draining them. So they go right to their candles and glitter jars.

Given how insufferable they are I imagine the amounts of candles and glitter they go through weekly makes them quite a spectacle at Walmart.

Others even claimed that a mass-hexing could result in catastrophe, suggesting that the group’s last mass-hex led to the coronavirus pandemic.

And here I thought it was China not wanting to lose New Year bux.

But wait, doesn't everything you do come back three fold? They should all be thrice dead from the wrath of Corona-chan by now.

Does Islam, especially extreme Islam, execute witches? I imagine they do.

 

[Desu Mountain]

Harry Potter and the Escape from Taliban

 

[Some JERK]

I guess hexing the moon didn't work out then?

It's not going well.View attachment 2462581

lol "Don't 1v1 God." Got it.