I
IV 445
Guest
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2015
Ive never been on a date. Im too autistic to maintain any normal human relationships.
W
WW 635
Guest
kiwifarms.net
A baby tried to make me look bad on a date once by crying when I waved at it to show how great I am with babies. Asshole baby.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2014
Your first mistake was assuming that Philosophy Zombie would make an original post.
sourrascal
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2016
FuckBitchesGetRiches
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2016
Checking him out from OKCupid. Seemed to have a few interests in common, thinking he wouldn't be out for a quick fuck, but that wasn't really the case. He also got his knickers in a twist over me calling someone a bitch.
I don't bother with online dating stuff anymore.
Q
QB 290
Guest
kiwifarms.net
There are 2 kinds of people in this world, the kinds who admit that every 2 out of 3 dates suck and fucking liars
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2013
Every date I've had in the last year has been bad because I forgot how to go on dates.
As if I ever knew.
As if I ever knew.
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2016
I took her to The Cheesecake Factory and all she wanted to do was LARP as Harry Potter characters through the whole dinner date.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2016
She wouldn't talk to me unless I called her Severus.
I did it for the cheesecake and never called her again.
- Joined
- Apr 10, 2016
I'm sitting here, thinking about past dating disasters and just now realizing how many of them involve Russians. God damn Russian women are the oddest, craziest people I have met.
So, one time, I get set up with a girl by a married Russian co-worker. Talk to her on the phone and while she doesn't have anything all that interesting to say, I'm single so let's see where this goes. We meet at a Spanish restaurant fairly late. She's got jet black hair and is thicker than your usual Russian girl. Tall as well, so overall, a pretty good package. We talk a bit while eating and she's only been in the States a year. I think she was a nanny, which I found odd given that none of my Russian acquaintances even have kids. I think we split a bottle of wine. The meal is basically over and I'm not feeling all that much of a connection but she comes up with the idea to go to a Russian bar the next town over.
So, we head to the bar. Place is jammed. She perks right up and is talking to half the bar. We dance a little and have some more drinks. This goes on forever. After a good while, she suggests going to my place which is out in the burbs. I'm confused but definitely up for it.
We get to my house - separate cars - and start on a bottle on wine in the living room. I try laying down the charm and make some moves. All rebuffed. This is becoming confusing. She's not leaving, though. I open another bottle of wine and we start on that. Still, she's shutting down any advances. And she's still not leaving. I'm making excuses at this point, trying to get rid of her but she's acting like I'm the first person in the world who has ever listened to her talk. Eventually, she finally leaves. Frigid kiss at the door and see you later. Frustrating night overall but what can you do?
Three weeks later, my house gets robbed while I'm at work. Not your usual robbery where they trash the place - they just taxed me, leaving half of some things instead of grabbing everything they could. Never brought the robbery up to Irena at work, but I'm pretty sure I got robbed by the blind date and her husband/boyfriend.
So, one time, I get set up with a girl by a married Russian co-worker. Talk to her on the phone and while she doesn't have anything all that interesting to say, I'm single so let's see where this goes. We meet at a Spanish restaurant fairly late. She's got jet black hair and is thicker than your usual Russian girl. Tall as well, so overall, a pretty good package. We talk a bit while eating and she's only been in the States a year. I think she was a nanny, which I found odd given that none of my Russian acquaintances even have kids. I think we split a bottle of wine. The meal is basically over and I'm not feeling all that much of a connection but she comes up with the idea to go to a Russian bar the next town over.
So, we head to the bar. Place is jammed. She perks right up and is talking to half the bar. We dance a little and have some more drinks. This goes on forever. After a good while, she suggests going to my place which is out in the burbs. I'm confused but definitely up for it.
We get to my house - separate cars - and start on a bottle on wine in the living room. I try laying down the charm and make some moves. All rebuffed. This is becoming confusing. She's not leaving, though. I open another bottle of wine and we start on that. Still, she's shutting down any advances. And she's still not leaving. I'm making excuses at this point, trying to get rid of her but she's acting like I'm the first person in the world who has ever listened to her talk. Eventually, she finally leaves. Frigid kiss at the door and see you later. Frustrating night overall but what can you do?
Three weeks later, my house gets robbed while I'm at work. Not your usual robbery where they trash the place - they just taxed me, leaving half of some things instead of grabbing everything they could. Never brought the robbery up to Irena at work, but I'm pretty sure I got robbed by the blind date and her husband/boyfriend.
R
RI 360
Guest
kiwifarms.net
Innocuous
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2015
It involved a goth girl, two demonic basset hounds, hot sauce, a window, and two days of angry phone calls.
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2016
She turned me into a newt!
I got better.
I got better.
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2014
Never had a date, but I think people will get a kick out of this: a classmate once pretended to have a crush on me because she felt bad that no one's liked me like that before.
Not only did I find out she was faking it after she said we could date, she also turned out to be a lesbian.
Not only did I find out she was faking it after she said we could date, she also turned out to be a lesbian.
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2015
Got two.
First one was in grade 7. There was this girl that said she liked me and wanted to go out with me, but before we could actually date she moved away. But we were long distance. So a week or so later, a friend of hers (that went to our school) writes me this long-winded letter telling me how the first girl is cheating on me and doesn't love me and that she (the second girl) would treat me right. I say "alright, let's see where this goes." So she invites me on a date with a few of her friends to the local mall. It's boring, don't do anything worthwhile. The girl stops talking to me. I later learn from a 3rd party that the second girl decided I was boring and did not like me anymore. Thanks a lot.
Second was when I was about 19. This girl I met on a dating site asks me out to the cinema. I'm absolutely gobsmacked she would ask me out because she is drop-dead gorgeous. Thin, waifish, black bob hair. About 2 years older than me. Anyway, she shows up 30 minutes late and refuses to offer a real explanation. Alright, then. Already missed the first few minutes of the film we were gonna see but whatever. So we get to the ticket kiosk and before I can get my wallet out she's already paying for both of our tickets. I don't particularly mind, but it seemed a bit odd she didn't even wait to let me offer to.
So we go in, she buys her own food and I don't get anything. Again not giving me time to offer, so I just assume she's forward-thinking like that. I crack a couple of lame jokes whilst we wait at concessions because the silence sucks and she doesn't laugh. So we go into see the movie (John Wick, her choice) and I offer her my over shirt because she's in very short shorts and it's fucking cold in theatres. Trying to be nice. Gives me a nice cold 'no'. After we finish that, she decides to sneak in to see Gone Girl. I didn't like either films but I kept my mouth shut about it. I offer my shirt again during that movie because I'm a fucking idiot who doesn't understand the concept of no. She obviously turns me down again.
After it's over, she just sort of nonchalantly says 'bye' and goes on her merry way. I try texting her a few times, if nothing else than to see what I did wrong and she never responds. I never heard from her again.
I really didn't understand that cookie, she didn't use me for a free film. Or anything. I can only guess she thought I was ugly and weird. I didn't try coming onto her, or pull the 'yawn and stretch' move or try to kiss her or anything, no idea what happened. Such is life. Guess dating ain't for me
First one was in grade 7. There was this girl that said she liked me and wanted to go out with me, but before we could actually date she moved away. But we were long distance. So a week or so later, a friend of hers (that went to our school) writes me this long-winded letter telling me how the first girl is cheating on me and doesn't love me and that she (the second girl) would treat me right. I say "alright, let's see where this goes." So she invites me on a date with a few of her friends to the local mall. It's boring, don't do anything worthwhile. The girl stops talking to me. I later learn from a 3rd party that the second girl decided I was boring and did not like me anymore. Thanks a lot.
Second was when I was about 19. This girl I met on a dating site asks me out to the cinema. I'm absolutely gobsmacked she would ask me out because she is drop-dead gorgeous. Thin, waifish, black bob hair. About 2 years older than me. Anyway, she shows up 30 minutes late and refuses to offer a real explanation. Alright, then. Already missed the first few minutes of the film we were gonna see but whatever. So we get to the ticket kiosk and before I can get my wallet out she's already paying for both of our tickets. I don't particularly mind, but it seemed a bit odd she didn't even wait to let me offer to.
So we go in, she buys her own food and I don't get anything. Again not giving me time to offer, so I just assume she's forward-thinking like that. I crack a couple of lame jokes whilst we wait at concessions because the silence sucks and she doesn't laugh. So we go into see the movie (John Wick, her choice) and I offer her my over shirt because she's in very short shorts and it's fucking cold in theatres. Trying to be nice. Gives me a nice cold 'no'. After we finish that, she decides to sneak in to see Gone Girl. I didn't like either films but I kept my mouth shut about it. I offer my shirt again during that movie because I'm a fucking idiot who doesn't understand the concept of no. She obviously turns me down again.
After it's over, she just sort of nonchalantly says 'bye' and goes on her merry way. I try texting her a few times, if nothing else than to see what I did wrong and she never responds. I never heard from her again.
I really didn't understand that cookie, she didn't use me for a free film. Or anything. I can only guess she thought I was ugly and weird. I didn't try coming onto her, or pull the 'yawn and stretch' move or try to kiss her or anything, no idea what happened. Such is life. Guess dating ain't for me
V
VJ 120
Guest
kiwifarms.net
A few years ago, I met this guy on OkCupid and started texting him. He seemed super into me, but honestly I wasn't THAT amazed by him. He had that stereotypical Reddit dwelling, Minecraft playing "quirky because I have a beard and drink craft beer" schtick about him and I could see right through it. You know, the male equivalent of a manic pixie dream girl. Anyway, I was pretty heartbroken over a recent breakup so I decided to meet up with him as some sort of lame ego boost and optimistically hope that maybe he wasn't so lame/shallow irl.
We met at this gastropub after I got off work. He was chubbier than his picture let on, and wore a Minecraft t-shirt and jeans (I was dressed up really nicely in heels/dress and this was a nice place...), and his beard/hair were not well taken care of. The whole date consisted of being "out-nerded" by him-- he would ask me about myself and then immediately challenge my intelligence and pop culture smarts by making some Family Guy-esque reference to obscure nerdy shit and then talk down to me when I didn't understand him. The highlight of the entire evening was hearing his 20 minute rambling sperg speech about Judge Dredd (something I've never seen before). Did I mention that this was completely unprompted on my end?
He also referred to women as sluts and whores, and had no life outside of Reddit.
Needless to say, I did not go out with him again after that and I stopped using OkCupid permanently after that experience.
We met at this gastropub after I got off work. He was chubbier than his picture let on, and wore a Minecraft t-shirt and jeans (I was dressed up really nicely in heels/dress and this was a nice place...), and his beard/hair were not well taken care of. The whole date consisted of being "out-nerded" by him-- he would ask me about myself and then immediately challenge my intelligence and pop culture smarts by making some Family Guy-esque reference to obscure nerdy shit and then talk down to me when I didn't understand him. The highlight of the entire evening was hearing his 20 minute rambling sperg speech about Judge Dredd (something I've never seen before). Did I mention that this was completely unprompted on my end?
He also referred to women as sluts and whores, and had no life outside of Reddit.
Needless to say, I did not go out with him again after that and I stopped using OkCupid permanently after that experience.
Drago
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 16, 2016
I met a guy on Match. Smart, pretty attractive, claimed to be 5'10, and 35 years old. He was 5'2 and looked and dressed exactly like Andre Nowzick from The League. Also, he was 55 not 35. He said he had to lie so that he could get a girl like me, and that I was his fantasy girl because of my job (lets just say, something in uniform) He also asked if I would pretend to love him. And said that he would take me shopping to buy appropriate clothing for my children to meet his mother.