- Joined
- Jul 30, 2016
Not a piss, but a dump.
Back during the summer of my junior year, I went with my high school girlfriend and her family to visit her aunt and uncle for a week. I've always had trouble taking a shit away from my home turf, and this was no exception. I generally take the kids to the pool once a day, but I hadn't even so much as had the urge that entire week.
That changed the night before we were going to leave. We were sitting at the dinner table and it hit HARD. One of those DEFCON 1 emergency dumps that you only experience once or twice in a lifetime. I walked to the closest bathroom, which happened to be a small half bath that was directly off the dining room.
This was a shit of biblical proportions. Randy Marsh tier. I don't know how the hell I carried it around. I've never given birth, but I can't imagine that it was any worse than this. Alongside the size, the stench was also of biblical proportions. I'm shocked they didn't evacuate the entire neighborhood. And if I thought it was bad, you know it had to be at least twice as bad for everyone else. There was no buffer zone either. Remember, that bathroom was right off the goddamn dining room.
I exited and returned to the table. They spent the rest of the meal pretending (badly) that everything was fine. I never saw them again.
Back during the summer of my junior year, I went with my high school girlfriend and her family to visit her aunt and uncle for a week. I've always had trouble taking a shit away from my home turf, and this was no exception. I generally take the kids to the pool once a day, but I hadn't even so much as had the urge that entire week.
That changed the night before we were going to leave. We were sitting at the dinner table and it hit HARD. One of those DEFCON 1 emergency dumps that you only experience once or twice in a lifetime. I walked to the closest bathroom, which happened to be a small half bath that was directly off the dining room.
This was a shit of biblical proportions. Randy Marsh tier. I don't know how the hell I carried it around. I've never given birth, but I can't imagine that it was any worse than this. Alongside the size, the stench was also of biblical proportions. I'm shocked they didn't evacuate the entire neighborhood. And if I thought it was bad, you know it had to be at least twice as bad for everyone else. There was no buffer zone either. Remember, that bathroom was right off the goddamn dining room.
I exited and returned to the table. They spent the rest of the meal pretending (badly) that everything was fine. I never saw them again.
