Worst lyrics of all time - For the music fans who would rather have a piece of toast than see a ghost

She's just sixteen years old
Leave her alone, they said
Separated by fools
Who don't know what love is yet
But I want you to know

If I could fly, I'd pick you up
I'd take you into the night
And show you a love
Like you've never seen, ever seen

Into The Night - Benny Mardones

I had an 80s playlist playing on spotify today and this song came on. I'd heard it many times before but never listened to the lyrics. I went to watch the music video and it's probably the most creepy and unintentionally hilarious thing i've ever seen. The first 45 seconds or so and this man's facial expressions regarding the "dads" disapproval of him sleeping with his daughter is just Tommy Wiseau level of humor and creepiness.
 
Matt Damon said:
Dream Theater's The Count of Tuscany is just abysmal. This is the sorta-kinda chorus of the song:

I want to stay alive
Everything about this place
Just doesn't feel right
I
I don't want to die
Suddenly I'm frightened for my life

I want to say goodbye
This could be the last time
You see me alive
I
I may not survive
Knew it from the moment we arrived

Just moronic and circular and repetitive as hell. And the rest of the song has plenty of other lyrics so embarrassingly bad that they're a meme even among fans of the band.
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The plot of the lyrics could be so much better. Having it be just two guys walking and one being freaked out because the other is kinda creepy is rather boring.
EpicGamerMoment said:
“Rape their women as they cry” followed by an evil laugh in Manowar’s “Hail and Kill”

Which sucks because it’s an excellent song
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>Not even bringing up the "May your sword stay wet like a young girl in her prime" lyric?
(Which is doubly horrific considering Karl Logan got caught with child porn).

TAX:
She's only Seventeen
Daddy says she's too young
But she's old enough for me.

How Kip Winger is still alive after recording those lyrics is a mystery.
 
Train has some very goofy lyrics; here are a few.
Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you
Even when I know you're wrong?
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance
Five-hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had, and me?
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These lyrics are from Drops of Jupiter; they make almost no sense. I think Rich Homie Quan's lifestyle makes more lyrical sense. Here are some more goofy Train lyrics.
The way you can cut a rug
Watching you's the only drug I need
So gangster, I'm so thug
You're the only one I'm dreaming of, you see
I can be myself now, finally
In fact, there's nothing I can't be
I want the world to see you'll be with me
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The words "so gangster, I'm so thug" coming from the goofy, upbeat white singer are super funny, but they could also be extremely cringey depending on how you interpret them.
 
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"We are the new Americana
High on legal marijuana
Raised on Biggie and Nirvana
We are the new Americana"

Halsey- New Americana
 
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Hulkster said:
Train has some very goofy lyrics; here are a few.

These lyrics are from Drops of Jupiter; they make almost no sense. I think Rich Homie Quan's lifestyle makes more lyrical sense. Here are some more goofy Train lyrics.

The words "so gangster, I'm so thug" coming from the goofy, upbeat white singer are super funny, but they could also be extremely cringey depending on how you interpret them.
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Back in my 20s, I briefly worked as a bank teller. One of those jobs I wouldn't wish on anybody, but it really taught you about humanity. Worked with a girl there who was the normiest hick normie who ever lived, so we rarely interacted. "Drops of Jupiter" comes on one day, and she reflexively states, "I hate songs about girls who do stupid shit."

I think about that quote a lot.
 
Bob Castleman is one of the worst songwriters of our age and the reason why every Alison Krauss album has at least one song that's absolute dogshit. "Paper Airplane" is his magnum opus and it's so thoroughly bad that it's hard to pick out a single part as the worst, but this is probably it:
People come together
People go their own way
Love conquers few
And I'll do whatever
I'll say what I need to say
Just not for you

How many days should I smile with a frown
'Cause you're not around
With the sun on your shoulders
And how many nights must I wake up alone
And know in my soul
That it's almost over now
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