Worst of Stephen King - Worst books or stories

[Strawb3rry]

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One day I'm going to compile a list of every time King is completely wrong about guns.

I Remember in The Drawing of the Three a character is shot by a shotgun but because he is a short distance away from the shooter the pellets only "sting".

 

[WOPR]

Probably not. The 10 o'clock people were trying to quit and thus smoking just enough to see the bat people.

Yeah that makes sense. If you're either smoking like a chimney or full stop you'd never hit that magic in-between step where you have the perfect amount of nicotine in your system to see them.
I also just now remembered that Everything's Eventual is unintentionally hilarious because the guy who recruits the protag works for the Trans Corporation and calls people like him with psychic powers "trannies." There's a line that goes something like "We estimate there's about 3,000 trannies in the whole world. We're gonna find all those trannies and put them to work for us."

 

[The Un-Clit]

Yeah that makes sense. If you're either smoking like a chimney or full stop you'd never hit that magic in-between step where you have the perfect amount of nicotine in your system to see them.
I also just now remembered that Everything's Eventual is unintentionally hilarious because the guy who recruits the protag works for the Trans Corporation and calls people like him with psychic powers "trannies." There's a line that goes something like "We estimate there's about 3,000 trannies in the whole world. We're gonna find all those trannies and put them to work for us."

Haha I remember thinking how badly that term he used for his psychic assassins, 'tranny' had aged a couple years ago when re-reading Everything's Eventual.

One of his strongest short story collections imo. That story is one of the better ones.

King seems to have a trope all his own about metapsychic humans being put to work by shady corporations or governments, but it makes for great storytelling. Firestarter, The Institute, Everything's Eventual and the Algul Siento segment of Dark Tower VII are all in the top 10 for me.

 

[grump]

King might not be all that great a writer but he has mastered the art of consistent output which in a way is the biggest hurdle most face. Too bad he's addicted to TDSing on social media. His tip to GRR Martin that he tries to just get down at least 6 pages a day really stuck with me.

 

[Hentai-Semitism]

I had a "goal" of reading everything he writes, but after reading Billy Summers and Later I think I'm done. A little boy who talks to ghosts? A hitman who has to pretend to be a normie for a few months just to have access to a roof? Are you kidding me?

I liked The Institute well enough, even though it reminded me a bit too much of one of my favorites, Firestarter. The collective consciousness of all the kids was a cool concept.

I know that he's utterly ignorant about politics and suffers from TDS, but I don't care that much about that. Wrote some very entertaining books, but probably isn't very likable or smart in real life. I read some of his dumb tweets, saw him wearing a shirt with Ukrainian flag and that was enough for me. You couldn't have a nuanced discussion about any of that with him because he's too old and stubborn.

not to mention his butthurt 9/11 story where suddenly those dead bodies are 'apolitical'

Can you elaborate? Did he say that in an interview?

 

[catsandsoup]

Can you elaborate? Did he say that in an interview?

It was in 'Things They Left Behind', a short story in 'Just After Sunset' (randomly, pre 9/11 there's also the main character reminiscing about how he'd whack off with his sister's underwear, just to add the King touch.)
These people discover objects left behind by the MC's office friends (he worked in the WTC), and feel how they feel:

"The place was full of screams, he could smell jet fuel, and he understood it was his dying hour. Do you understand that? Do you understand the enormity of that?"

I nodded. I couldn't speak. You could have put a gun to my head and I still wouldn't have been able to speak.

"The politicians talk about memorials and courage and wars to end terrorism, but burning hair is apolitical."

..."They did it in the name of God, but there is no God. If there was a God, Mr. Staley, He would have struck all eighteen of them dead in their boarding lounges with their boarding passes in their hands, but no God did. They called for passengers to get on and those fucks just got on."

There's also a note that MC has a kind of paranoid inner voice reflect that as an American 'Ha-ha, asshole, the joke's on you, and half the goddam world's laughing!'

All stuff anyone can get behind, but he does seem to have this kind of schizo boomer typical approach to politics, like I want my lib cred for sneering at the yokel hicks who don't want to get vaccinated and voted for Trump, but obviously we all agree that American dead people is a tragedy and Vietnamese dead babies are a punchline.

 

[Hentai-Semitism]

I see. Not sure what he was going for. Maybe I'd have to re-read the short story to get it. I don't know if King is completely on board with all the insane things his government is doing abroad. Wouldn't surprise me, though.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

I had a "goal" of reading everything he writes, but after reading Billy Summers and Later I think I'm done. A little boy who talks to ghosts? A hitman who has to pretend to be a normie for a few months just to have access to a roof? Are you kidding me?

Even if it was all good quality, there are just too many books to get through. It's part of what makes me hesitant to keep reading Brandon Sanderson's Cosmere novels. According to Sanderson's blog, the plan is for 35 novels total and we're only at 14 of the official planned novels, not counting the supplemental stuff. And he's admitted he might add in an extra trilogy to Mistborn.

I like King but after a couple of books I feel the urge to go read someone else and it usually takes a couple of years for me to get back to him.

 

[The Un-Clit]

Even if it was all good quality, there are just too many books to get through. It's part of what makes me hesitant to keep reading Brandon Sanderson's Cosmere novels. According to Sanderson's blog, the plan is for 35 novels total and we're only at 14 of the official planned novels, not counting the supplemental stuff. And he's admitted he might add in an extra trilogy to Mistborn.

I like King but after a couple of books I feel the urge to go read someone else and it usually takes a couple of years for me to get back to him.

Sanderson can't write the cosmere books fast enough to keep up with me, especially the Stormlight Chronicles. Mind you I am looking forward to Mistborn series 3: IN SPACE!! Quite a bit too. The way the guy has come up with so many incredible magic systems or 'uses of Investiture' blows me away.

He stands along with Charles Stross and Peter F. Hamilton in my top 3 current favourite active SF and fantasy authors.

 

[Hentai-Semitism]

Even if it was all good quality, there are just too many books to get through. It's part of what makes me hesitant to keep reading Brandon Sanderson's Cosmere novels. According to Sanderson's blog, the plan is for 35 novels total and we're only at 14 of the official planned novels, not counting the supplemental stuff. And he's admitted he might add in an extra trilogy to Mistborn.

I like King but after a couple of books I feel the urge to go read someone else and it usually takes a couple of years for me to get back to him.

We're talking about the "worst of Stephen King" in this thread and not recommending, so I'd name:
- Cujo (boring premise)
- Insomnia (most of it is about getting old)
- The Eyes Of The Dragon (by the numbers fantasy, definitely not his forte)
- Lisey's Story (download the e-book and ctrl+F "bool", I dare ya)

 

[The Un-Clit]

We're talking about the "worst of Stephen King" in this thread and not recommending, so I'd name:
- Cujo (boring premise)
- Insomnia (most of it is about getting old)
- The Eyes Of The Dragon (by the numbers fantasy, definitely not his forte)
- Lisey's Story (download the e-book and ctrl+F "bool", I dare ya)

Agree with you on the first three, but hard disagree on Lisey's Story, it's the only good thing he wrote during his 'feminist' period.

The jargon like 'bool' and 'bad-gunky' are a bit off putting but if people can hold their nose and get through the Vietnamese take-out menu gibberish in The Dark Tower books (can I get the dan-dinh with an-tet to go?) it's worth it here too imo. Booya Moon is beautifully fleshed out and The Long Boy is an Eldritch Horror FAR scarier then Dread Cthulhu.

It's a very interesting story and the only book worth re-reading from this period.

 

[WOPR]

I had never actually read Different Seasons but the posts about the weird gentleman's club in The Breathing Method made me pick it up. That's a great little story even without the frame narrative about the club and it wraps up with a very satisfying conclusion. I'm really surprised it was never adapted into a film. That throwaway line about the politician with something in his trunk he couldn't kill could probably carry a story by itself.
Everyone on Earth has seen The Shawshank Redemption and Stand By Me, so there weren't any real surprises there but they were still fun to read.
Apt Pupil didn't really do much for me. I guess I'd describe it kind of like a Troma movie. It went so far beyond the bounds of good taste that it felt more like some fucked up attempt at dark comedy that completely missed the mark. I'd imagine it was received much differently back when the book was published though, not here in the desensitized 2020s when you can watch a gruesome documentary about the Toolbox Killers complete with interviews on prime time TV.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

Sanderson can't write the cosmere books fast enough to keep up with me, especially the Stormlight Chronicles. Mind you I am looking forward to Mistborn series 3: IN SPACE!! Quite a bit too. The way the guy has come up with so many incredible magic systems or 'uses of Investiture' blows me away.

He stands along with Charles Stross and Peter F. Hamilton in my top 3 current favourite active SF and fantasy authors.

Just quickly off topic, but Mistborn season three is going to be set in the 80s and be about a cold war between the main continent and the southern one they discovered in season two. Now back to King.

We're talking about the "worst of Stephen King" in this thread and not recommending, so I'd name:
- Cujo (boring premise)
- Insomnia (most of it is about getting old)
- The Eyes Of The Dragon (by the numbers fantasy, definitely not his forte)
- Lisey's Story (download the e-book and ctrl+F "bool", I dare ya)

Only read Cujo and I disagree that it's a boring premise, being trapped in a car in the middle of summer with a rabid dog outside ready to kill you and your young son could have worked. But the book was a slog, for me at least.

 

[The Un-Clit]

Just quickly off topic, but Mistborn season three is going to be set in the 80s and be about a cold war between the main continent and the southern one they discovered in season two. Now back to King.

He must have changed his plans. I was sure in Arcanum Unbound or another book he said the Mistborn 3rd series was going to be in a SF future exploring other systems in the Cosmere. I'll have to check up on his blog and update myself, thanks.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

He must have changed his plans. I was sure in Arcanum Unbound or another book he said the Mistborn 3rd series was going to be in a SF future exploring other systems in the Cosmere. I'll have to check up on his blog and update myself, thanks.

The plan was the first trilogy in medieval times, a second trilogy in modern times, and a third in sci-fi Jetsons style future times. He wrote the first Wax & Wayne book as a fun experiment, but then it blew up and he made a new trilogy, calling it Mistborn 1.5 until fans got pissy and he announced it as Mistborn 2. The trilogy coming soon is what was supposed to be Mistborn 2. The future one won't be happening for a long time.

Speaking of shared universes, I know King puts a lot of references to his other works in his books, but are they really all meant to be in the same universe?

 

[Jason Wynn]

Speaking of shared universes, I know King puts a lot of references to his other works in his books, but are they really all meant to be in the same universe?

He retconned quite a few of his older novels to fit in with his Dark Tower mythos (‘Salem’s Lot, Insomnia, Hearts in Atlantis and Rose Madder being the biggest examples.) His books set in Castle Rock tend to have recurring characters (Alan Pangborn in The Dark Half and Needful Things. George Bannerman in The Dead Zone and Cujo etc) King definitely has a boner for the whole shared universe thing

 

[Hentai-Semitism]

Only read Cujo and I disagree that it's a boring premise, being trapped in a car in the middle of summer with a rabid dog outside ready to kill you and your young son could have worked. But the book was a slog, for me at least.

That's what I mean. That premise is perfect for a short story, not a 300 page book. I'd be OK with 70 pages in an anthology.

 

[The Un-Clit]

That's what I mean. That premise is perfect for a short story, not a 300 page book. I'd be OK with 70 pages in an anthology.

Ironically the "sequel" to Cujo IS a short story, it's in his last collection of short stories "You like it darker". Buggered if I can remember the name of it. Might have been "snakes".

 

[Hentai-Semitism]

Ironically the "sequel" to Cujo IS a short story, it's in his last collection of short stories "You like it darker". Buggered if I can remember the name of it. Might have been "snakes".

Haven't read that one because it was released after I gave up. What is it even about? I will admit that the part in Cujo about a woman stuck in a car is the only thing I remember.

 

[The Un-Clit]

Haven't read that one because it was released after I gave up. What is it even about? I will admit that the part in Cujo about a woman stuck in a car is the only thing I remember.

"Rattlesnakes" is the name of the story and I don't remember much about it except that it also ties into Duma Key being set on a nearby island but is about the father of the kid who died in the car in Cujo getting attacked by hormone crazed snakes or something. Wasn't a terrible story but wasn't great either.