- Joined
- Apr 12, 2020
Getting sucked out of Flight 180 and forgetting your parachute at home.
Worst part about being on an airplane - Flying so high above the world
- Thread starter Quijibo69
- Start date
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2020
Obviously the worst part is being forced to jack off in such a small bathroom.
Dogmeat General
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2021
I'm very glad that somebody else experiences this, it's an absolute bitch and I thought I was the only one. I call it "plane eye"
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2021
Airports
Oh, and children under the age of 7 should not be allowed on aeroplanes.
Oh, and children under the age of 7 should not be allowed on aeroplanes.
- Joined
- May 22, 2021
I don't like that they lock the cabin door so you can't ask the captain about the controls.
Muppetstudios
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2021
Shart Attack
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 14, 2022
The entire experience of air travel is fucked from start to finish.
You arrive at the airport least an hour early, probably two if it's a big airport. You spend 45 minutes in line for TSA, because a bunch of foreigners at the front of the line can't be made to understand in any language on Earth that you can't bring a half-empty bottle of Diet Coke through airport security, because terrorism or some shit. You get to your gate to find that your gate has just been changed to the other side of the airport. You get to the new gate to find out that your flight has been delayed an hour because of bad weather in Chicago. If you fly through any airport between the Rockies and the Atlantic, Chicago's airports will fuck up every flight you're ever on.
So now you're trapped in the airport going nowhere, and you're getting hungry. Your options are greasy fast food slop or the one sit-down restaurant in the airport, so you choose the latter. It will always be crowded, the waitress will never pay attention to you even after you call out to her, and the shitty food will cost five times what it's worth. Now you're at least full and loaded up with salmonella, so you go back to your gate to find your flight's been delayed another hour. The plane is here, but they can't find a crew. You had a layover at a connecting airport, and you'd given yourself a 2-hour window in case of delays, but now you're going to miss your connecting flight anyway, so now you have to book another flight with a customer service wagie who hates you, who says they're sorry for the inconvenience.
As it gets closer to boarding, the gate attendant starts whining that the flight is overbooked, and she needs a few volunteers to give up their seats and their dignity for a travel voucher. Because people have unlimited vacation days they can waste on this shit, or their clients can just wait until they get there whenever. At least you think that's what she's saying. You can barely hear her, because a half-dozen urban youths are listening to shitty music at full volume on tinny phone speakers, and ten dozen TVs are blaring CNN propaganda at you nonstop. You make yourself scarce so they can't volunteer you to give up your seat and your dignity, and you go buy a $12 bottle of water and $45 granola bar to replace the ones the TSA made you throw out. You finally get to board your flight, and the gate attendant forces you to gate check your bag to your final destination, because they claim there's no overhead space left. You get on the flight and find that there's plenty of fucking overhead space left. Hope you didn't need anything you can't carry on your person, because there's a 79% chance you aren't going to see that bag again for a few days.
The person in the seat next to you is morbidly obese, and their fat rolls take up half your seat. You're going to spend the next 3 hours either sitting like a contortionist until your back hates you or pressing against a gross, fat, sweaty, smelly stranger. The guy in the seat behind you won't stop coughing. Ever. How is he still alive with whatever strain of tuberculosis is ravaging his lungs? It's a mystery. Shortly after takeoff, the inconsiderate fuck in front of you leans his seat back, so you now have half the leg room that already wasn't enough to begin with. You can complain and kick his seat all you want, but you'll get sick of it before he does. By now you've finished reading the book you brought, the entire fucking Lord of the Rings trilogy, so there's not much left to do but sleep. Good luck with that. Every time you start to nod off, the fat fuck next to you will elbow you, or a baby near you will start crying, not that it ever stopped crying in the first place.
You finally land at your connecting airport, but it takes another 45 minutes to get to the gate, because the airport doesn't have anyone they can send to work the landing bridge. There was a lightning strike 50 miles away an hour ago, so they can't send someone out in the covered metal bridge just yet. Once they finally connect to the gate, it takes another 45 minutes to get off the plane because the last few living members of the Lost Generation are all on your flight and seem to be lost on the one single path to the exit. Once you finally get off the plane, you find that your rebooked connecting flight is also delayed an hour. An hour later, they tell you it's delayed another hour. An hour after that, they tell you it's cancelled entirely because someone sharted in Chicago, so you have to rebook a new flight for the next morning. It takes an hour to rebook your flight, because the airline's "computers are down," because airlines' computers go down with the regularity of a two-dollar whore. But it's okay, they're very sorry for the inconvenience. Now you can either get no sleep in the airport or try to find a nearby hotel. If you book the hotel, you have to leave it early and go through TSA all over again, but at least you might get an hour of decent sleep. Oh, and good news, your toiletries were in the bag the gate agent stole from you, so you have to buy a new toothbrush at the airport for ten times what it would cost at a drugstore. At this point you're kicking yourself for not just driving the 900 miles you have to travel. You only chose to fly because you wanted to get there fast, and you didn't want to have to stop overnight, which has now become a moot point.
Your flight in the morning is delayed an hour, but somehow you manage to get to your final destination. Good news, though, they lost the bag they forced you to check at the gate. It's still at your airport of origin. Did they mention they're sorry for the inconvenience? By the way, three days from now, you're going to be sick as a dog, because you just spent the last 24 hours in close contact with disgusting, unhygenic people who need signs plastered all over the airport to remind them to cover their fucking mouth when they cough.
Most of these problems can be mitigated if you just pay more. You can pay for TSA Pre-Check to avoid the TSA bullshit. You can pay a stupid amount of money for first class to get more leg room and keep your bag with you. You can pay for access to your airline's lounge, where you can wait for your delayed flight in relative peace. You can pay enough money to be treated with a small amount of humanity and dignity. Of course, giving in and paying them to treat you like an actual human means you've already lost, already surrendered your dignity, but it probably beats getting your asshole fingered by a creepy little jerk from the TSA. But there's no money in the world that can stop the slack-jawed retards in Chicago from fucking you over from thousands of miles away. You can do everything right, leave early, have all your shit in order, and high school dropouts you'll never meet can and will still fuck you over every step of your trip. Unless you have enough money for a private jet, you can't possibly pay enough to get to your destination on time.
Only with modern American air travel can you leave two hours early and arrive 48 hours late.
So now you're trapped in the airport going nowhere, and you're getting hungry. Your options are greasy fast food slop or the one sit-down restaurant in the airport, so you choose the latter. It will always be crowded, the waitress will never pay attention to you even after you call out to her, and the shitty food will cost five times what it's worth. Now you're at least full and loaded up with salmonella, so you go back to your gate to find your flight's been delayed another hour. The plane is here, but they can't find a crew. You had a layover at a connecting airport, and you'd given yourself a 2-hour window in case of delays, but now you're going to miss your connecting flight anyway, so now you have to book another flight with a customer service wagie who hates you, who says they're sorry for the inconvenience.
As it gets closer to boarding, the gate attendant starts whining that the flight is overbooked, and she needs a few volunteers to give up their seats and their dignity for a travel voucher. Because people have unlimited vacation days they can waste on this shit, or their clients can just wait until they get there whenever. At least you think that's what she's saying. You can barely hear her, because a half-dozen urban youths are listening to shitty music at full volume on tinny phone speakers, and ten dozen TVs are blaring CNN propaganda at you nonstop. You make yourself scarce so they can't volunteer you to give up your seat and your dignity, and you go buy a $12 bottle of water and $45 granola bar to replace the ones the TSA made you throw out. You finally get to board your flight, and the gate attendant forces you to gate check your bag to your final destination, because they claim there's no overhead space left. You get on the flight and find that there's plenty of fucking overhead space left. Hope you didn't need anything you can't carry on your person, because there's a 79% chance you aren't going to see that bag again for a few days.
The person in the seat next to you is morbidly obese, and their fat rolls take up half your seat. You're going to spend the next 3 hours either sitting like a contortionist until your back hates you or pressing against a gross, fat, sweaty, smelly stranger. The guy in the seat behind you won't stop coughing. Ever. How is he still alive with whatever strain of tuberculosis is ravaging his lungs? It's a mystery. Shortly after takeoff, the inconsiderate fuck in front of you leans his seat back, so you now have half the leg room that already wasn't enough to begin with. You can complain and kick his seat all you want, but you'll get sick of it before he does. By now you've finished reading the book you brought, the entire fucking Lord of the Rings trilogy, so there's not much left to do but sleep. Good luck with that. Every time you start to nod off, the fat fuck next to you will elbow you, or a baby near you will start crying, not that it ever stopped crying in the first place.
You finally land at your connecting airport, but it takes another 45 minutes to get to the gate, because the airport doesn't have anyone they can send to work the landing bridge. There was a lightning strike 50 miles away an hour ago, so they can't send someone out in the covered metal bridge just yet. Once they finally connect to the gate, it takes another 45 minutes to get off the plane because the last few living members of the Lost Generation are all on your flight and seem to be lost on the one single path to the exit. Once you finally get off the plane, you find that your rebooked connecting flight is also delayed an hour. An hour later, they tell you it's delayed another hour. An hour after that, they tell you it's cancelled entirely because someone sharted in Chicago, so you have to rebook a new flight for the next morning. It takes an hour to rebook your flight, because the airline's "computers are down," because airlines' computers go down with the regularity of a two-dollar whore. But it's okay, they're very sorry for the inconvenience. Now you can either get no sleep in the airport or try to find a nearby hotel. If you book the hotel, you have to leave it early and go through TSA all over again, but at least you might get an hour of decent sleep. Oh, and good news, your toiletries were in the bag the gate agent stole from you, so you have to buy a new toothbrush at the airport for ten times what it would cost at a drugstore. At this point you're kicking yourself for not just driving the 900 miles you have to travel. You only chose to fly because you wanted to get there fast, and you didn't want to have to stop overnight, which has now become a moot point.
Your flight in the morning is delayed an hour, but somehow you manage to get to your final destination. Good news, though, they lost the bag they forced you to check at the gate. It's still at your airport of origin. Did they mention they're sorry for the inconvenience? By the way, three days from now, you're going to be sick as a dog, because you just spent the last 24 hours in close contact with disgusting, unhygenic people who need signs plastered all over the airport to remind them to cover their fucking mouth when they cough.
Most of these problems can be mitigated if you just pay more. You can pay for TSA Pre-Check to avoid the TSA bullshit. You can pay a stupid amount of money for first class to get more leg room and keep your bag with you. You can pay for access to your airline's lounge, where you can wait for your delayed flight in relative peace. You can pay enough money to be treated with a small amount of humanity and dignity. Of course, giving in and paying them to treat you like an actual human means you've already lost, already surrendered your dignity, but it probably beats getting your asshole fingered by a creepy little jerk from the TSA. But there's no money in the world that can stop the slack-jawed retards in Chicago from fucking you over from thousands of miles away. You can do everything right, leave early, have all your shit in order, and high school dropouts you'll never meet can and will still fuck you over every step of your trip. Unless you have enough money for a private jet, you can't possibly pay enough to get to your destination on time.
Only with modern American air travel can you leave two hours early and arrive 48 hours late.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2021
I've only ever been on European airlines with a party and can't quite relate to many of these issues (except for EasyJet which is a perfect microcosm of Angloid incompetence). Haven't been scrunched by fatties or kicked in the spine by any uppity kids, or ventilated by urbans, or had any dealings with TSA, and the food is average at best, but there are a few first-world complaints I've got. Also none of what I said implies Europe is inherently better than the USA, it has many aspects that are much worse, it just so happens that airlines aren't one of them.
- When my seat in particular is always the only one on the plane (I assume) with a busted TV.
- Long flights are always the best time for the shits to hit you. It will happen, and you will overcome your aversion to occupying the toilets to get it out multiple times.
- I can't sleep on planes. Overnight flights are a chore.
- My ass aches.
- I'd say 60% of my flight time actually happened during the coof, and masks really start fucking with you over time. I'm hardly neurotic but hyperventilation was common.
- At least the airports were more quiet than usual. Small mercies.
- Had one time where the pilot said over the intercom "Hey there it's Josh" and I think that spiked my blood pressure for the duration of the flight. Mercifully nothing bad happened.
- When my seat in particular is always the only one on the plane (I assume) with a busted TV.
- Long flights are always the best time for the shits to hit you. It will happen, and you will overcome your aversion to occupying the toilets to get it out multiple times.
- I can't sleep on planes. Overnight flights are a chore.
- My ass aches.
- I'd say 60% of my flight time actually happened during the coof, and masks really start fucking with you over time. I'm hardly neurotic but hyperventilation was common.
- At least the airports were more quiet than usual. Small mercies.
- Had one time where the pilot said over the intercom "Hey there it's Josh" and I think that spiked my blood pressure for the duration of the flight. Mercifully nothing bad happened.
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- Joined
- Sep 28, 2013
Getting up to use the bathroom was always super fucking annoying to me, especially if you have to squeeze past people to get out of and back to your seat.
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2019
That is the primary reason why I exclusively take Amtrak, even though it takes days when flights take hours.
Adjacent seats are almost always open, if not entire rows, enough room for everyone to spread out once the train starts moving.
Plus the power-strips next to every seat, functional reclining, and actual leg room.
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2018
The idea that if in the unlikely event the plane I’m on goes down, I’m going to die surrounded by people I don’t even like.
ETA: @Shart Attack post of the fucking year m8. America lost its way when we started paying people to do everything for us. If I have to travel I’ll use my own car, which I at least attempt to maintain myself, check myself into a hotel room I booked by speaking directly to another person (not via a “service” that charges me $25 for the convenience of them tapping a keyboard for two minutes), on the shitty Nokia brick phone with one circuit board and 16 megs of memory that even my stupid ass can repair. I’ll carry my own luggage so the mouth-breather who didn’t wipe himself doesn’t need to handle it (and then demand a tip) and if I have to I’ll boil my own goddamn water to eat ramen noodles instead of paying $20 for a chicken breast sandwich whose juices aren’t even running clear.
I started trying to learn how to do simple shit myself a few years ago and boi let me tell you if you hate other people it’s the best move you’ll ever make. At least when you fuck up (and you will) you only have yourself to yell at and not some disembodied voice on the phone belonging to a person who couldn’t care less.
ETA: @Shart Attack post of the fucking year m8. America lost its way when we started paying people to do everything for us. If I have to travel I’ll use my own car, which I at least attempt to maintain myself, check myself into a hotel room I booked by speaking directly to another person (not via a “service” that charges me $25 for the convenience of them tapping a keyboard for two minutes), on the shitty Nokia brick phone with one circuit board and 16 megs of memory that even my stupid ass can repair. I’ll carry my own luggage so the mouth-breather who didn’t wipe himself doesn’t need to handle it (and then demand a tip) and if I have to I’ll boil my own goddamn water to eat ramen noodles instead of paying $20 for a chicken breast sandwich whose juices aren’t even running clear.
I started trying to learn how to do simple shit myself a few years ago and boi let me tell you if you hate other people it’s the best move you’ll ever make. At least when you fuck up (and you will) you only have yourself to yell at and not some disembodied voice on the phone belonging to a person who couldn’t care less.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2021
Worst part? Not being able to do it often 
Flown only twice in my 2 decades of living. Sometimes I wish I was a richfag so I could fly more...
Flown only twice in my 2 decades of living. Sometimes I wish I was a richfag so I could fly more...
Dambusters' Dog II
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2022
Certain airlines just seem to attract the wrong people. EasyJet, Ryanair, Virgin Atlantic. I once got on a Virgin Atlantic flight where there was an explicit sign indicating that brawling on the flight was not permitted. A group of young students nonetheless managed to trash an entire row of a widebody aircraft by throwing every part of an in-flight meal around and treading it into the carpet.
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2016
As a pilot, it was dealing with the FAA or controllers who are exhausted, burned out or just bad at their jobs.
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2020
Last time I flew these arab guys kept getting into fights with the crew members and demanding to see the pilot.
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2021